Day 7: Glitter sticks because it has phantom super glue

Anyone with a little girl or a child who loves to do arts and crafts knows the fight of the glitter fairy. If you have someone in your home that uses glitter, you KNOW to what I am referring. Even if you forbid glitter from being used in your home, should you have kids, the glitter fairy will still pay your home a visit. This is certain to happen around the holidays. Silver for Christmas, orange for Halloween, red for Valentines day. You get the picture. Once you find that you have come in contact with glitter, it is like a contagious disease. The chit gets EVERYWHERE. Not only that, it is often worse than sharpie markers. It sticks around and is impossible to wash away.

The last time I painted my fingernails,  (not something I do often, but I find it relaxing. I should do it more. Maybe....) I used a clear top coat with glitter flecks in it. Every single time I use this stuff I fail to remember how difficult it is to get off. Its like it becomes imbedded into the nail or something because fingernail polish will not take it off. I have to scrape it off and damage the heck out of my nails. No amount of rubbing with a rag or cotton ball or tissue drenched in fingernail polish remover will get that chit off. I imagined once, using turpentine or kerosene to try to get that glitter junk off but I was too chicken to try. My nails may fall off! These are MY nails and they are real. Not something you see everyday. They are "salon length" too. (Just about the only part of myself I take pride in currently, but after yesterday, THAT will change. Yes, I digress.)

So here I sit. At work. Scrapping glitter that the glitter fairy has seen fit to adhere to my nails simply so I can paint my nails to match my shirt. Note: New fingernail polish has even tinier glitter pieces in it. The removal of THAT should be just as fun!  I am certain I have done enough to my nails to ensure the next color I paint them will become a permanent part of them until it grows out. Thank gosh my nails grow fast.

This is where I get to the point. The glitter fairy has this secret superglue stuff that she lovingly coats each piece of glitter ever created. This is why it has that lovely permanence. Mind you, it is purposely done. Glitter Fairy Super Glue has this chemical in it that allows for it to time release (I mean let go) of any Elmer's glue, paste, or glue stick simply so that it can be found every single place your child's art work or craft has been. This is where you have to be careful. If your child grabbed the toilet paper roll and used some during arts and crafts, think twice before wiping your rear. Gosh forbid you go to a colonoscopy and your Doctor find glitter in your crack! Yipes! Haha. Remember that story of the lady who had a "woman's" appointment at the OB/GYN and her daughter had placed glitter in a wash cloth near the sink?  How mortifying. Also, you don't want to go to an interview or a court date looking like you had been puked upon by the Glitter Unicorn of Shinydom either.

Point is, glitter is horrible stuff. While it may look good and is very shiny, it is DANGEROUS!

What do YOU think?

Day 3: Quarter machine bouncy balls in my brain and I went to work

I went to work yesterday and it was Friday, my day off. I get one day off a week and you would think I would take great care to avoid the office when I don't have to be there. For those of you who DON'T know what I do for a living. This may seem laughable.

She gets up, gets dressed, eats breakfast and has coffee. She gets in the car, drives ALL the way to work, sits down, turns on her computer to start her day. THEN she stares mouth agape at her computer screen realizing she could have slept in and avoided the whole work place thing. You had ONE job girl, to enjoy the day off and you flubbed it up. However that is nothing like how it actually went down.

Background! I work from home. I have done so for many, many years. I have a very small hallway from the bedroom to the office which encompasses about five steps or ten shuffles.  There is also access to the bathroom in said hallway and that is why I sometimes say "navigated the hallway traffic." Ya, that is supposed to be funny. Though, I think I have used that so often that I don't find it as hilarious as the first time I said it. (TINY digression there. Hehehe.) Any way, this is more of how it went:

I woke up, brushed my teeth, got dressed, made coffee, navigated the traffic in the hallway, sat down at my desk and started to get my workspace up and running. As I navigate my way to the support chat that I have to utilize, I announced to the fellow employees the following important message:

 

Morning..........DO YOU KNOW WHAT I DID? DO YOU KNOW WHAT I JUST DID? I AM SUPPOSED TO BE OFF TODAY!!! WTFLIP!  GOOD BYE! **Michele has left the support chat.

 

 

I was so mortified that I was at a loss for what to do next. So I wrote. All of my blogs got something yesterday. I know on one of them I already told this story and if it was this one, I apologize, however this is going somewhere I promise. I even had the intention to study and that would have been great had I actually did it but all that writing made me tired and I ended up sleeping the day away anyway. (Except for the part where Cal's best friend came home after five years and I was rudely awakened by him to get up and watch him hop like a rabbit down the driveway to greet his friend. I needed the air so I was ok with that. ACK! Digression again! You are all in for it today!) Now we turn down the road I wanted to talk about in the first place. You know me, back story and all.

 

The compulsion to write struck me in the head like a baseball bat. Every little thing I did was followed with a voice in my head going "Hey, that would be a great post! Whip out the phone and write it RIGHT NOW cuz you got time and its your day off!" That is all good but I usually stew on a post for a day or so because I have to think about exactly how to word it. Sometimes I will fork it out right there but it falls short of my own expectations and I am never satisfied. The ones that I think about for at least 24 hours are the best ones to me because I have had time to contemplate the course of action. Still, I only fork out my posts in one sitting because that is how I believe a blog should work. (Warning: I DO have a post coming that I have been a week working at. It is a serious post and nothing like this. Probably why it is taking so long.) I know, not everyone blogs like that but this is just me. So, yea, the voice.   While they were all great ideas, it made me tired. I never realized the creative process could whoop you azz like that. Of course, I never had an over burst of creativity like that either. No wonder artists and writers are sooo....different when they are about their craft. I have to learn to use this to my advantage. However, I do not do sleepy tired well. My Cal will tell you I can fall asleep within seconds of laying down. Once I am sleeping, that is it. TKO. Game Over.

 

I wish there were a way I could sit down, get it all out and NOT be tired when I am done. It makes me tired because when there is more than one story in there (and there always is, I am trying in vain to finish this book that's not on paper yet,) it feels like those quarter machine bouncy balls just recklessly bouncing around inside my brain cavity. It just turns everything in there to mush. I have to sleep that tired off and while I am asleep, I imagine my body is un mushing my brain and making it whole again. Once I am whole, I wake up. I must say that when I wake from that kind of sleep it is a deep, hard sleep. I assume its because it takes a lot of work to un-mush a brain huh?

 

Until then, when I have days like that, steer clear because I am having an 'artist' or 'writers' moment.

Horrible, horrible feeling.

 

What do YOU think?