Day 19: There are unsaid consequences behind the thought that counts.

There are organizations out there who help people get ahead in life. These organizations (assuming they are legit) have good intentions and mean no harm if something bad results from their assistance. Often, it is not noticed for years that the thought of helping someone could have ramifications. I am no exception. There have been times when I have needed help and have been offered it. Humbly I took the offer.

In a specific example, I am referring to where I live. My family had the opportunity of a life time after working several years with an organization. We were able to have a home built and purchase it outside of conventional methods. While it is all legit, I am constantly reminded that I am in an area which is not the best for me or my family. To begin with, the "development" was built against a lot of opposition from the neighbors. There was a large chunk of land that the community services office purchased on the cheap and were allowed to build about 8 houses on that land. The neighborhood the land was situated in is an older neighborhood and the majority of the people living in the neighborhood have been there their whole lives or were raised nearby. It has roots in American History and the people here have that lovely southern charm. When I say charm, you should hear black undertones of sarcasm. Against their protest, the new homes were built and we were placed in one of them. 

Don't get me wrong, I love our home and it is beautiful to me. While it is not perfect in anyway, it belongs to us and we have no plans of going anywhere. (However if we become filthy rich by accident, there will be a vacancy here. I am sure of it.) We have been here nearly ten years. 

There is always opposition or some type of drama here and it all amounts to jealousy and hate which can only be found in the deep south. To begin with, I am nearly the only white permanent resident here. This makes things difficult for me. Not because I am the minority but I am obviously "not from around here." I think that the existing neighborhood has accepted the fact that we are here to stay but our children are constantly picked on and whenever I have to walk past the end of my street for something, a cop will ask me what in the hell I think I am doing walking in this neighborhood. I can even go and pick up something from the grocery store or a child from a game and the  minute I pass a patrol car, I am followed because I am "out of place." They must think I am up to no good. It doesn't help much that there is a high homeless rate in this city and there is a severe problem with prostitution and drugs. Hello officers! Not EVERYONE fits those categories. 

Once, in broad daylight, I was walking to the bus stop to get our children off the bus and a cop stopped in the middle of the road and asked me what was I doing there. I told him I lived a few houses over and he told me to show him some ID and that, it was not good to provide false information to the police. Yea, I flipped him my ID. He was embarrassed. I told him that it is not a good idea to "assume" things about people. Especially when they don't fit the description of the "typical out of place white female in this neighborhood." When he gave me my ID back, I just walked away. He had no other reason to keep me there and the bus was already at the stop. I gathered the children and walked back home. 

There are also people who are around who have ill intent to ANYONE that is not an ingrown stitch in the fabric of this community. They like to start trouble. They play cruel tricks on people because they are jealous of what others have and dislike outsiders. These people cause problems and laugh when their efforts result in fights and arguments and disagreements. One such trick was played on me not long after we moved here. While it is something I would rather not talk about, to this day, I still get blamed for something I had no part of. 

If there was a way I could prove my innocence, I would do it in a minute. Even if it meant giving up this house and going back to renting for the rest of my life. 

Like I said before. I like my home. I like my yard. It is nice and it belongs to my family. However, some neighbors just need to quietly go away or (in a different life) we could just chisel out our hunk of land here and put it down somewhere else far, far away from here. I try to keep to myself and I do everything in my power to keep people out of my life. Too much drama. This place around here simply will not let things be. They want to cause my family and my marriage to fall and that is why they cause trouble. 

Jealousy. 

The result of helping me has made my life a living nightmare. They should have thought about what they were doing before they put me in this spot. There were other spots but apparently, it was the thought of "you are blessed to have your own home! You should be grateful!" Whatever. 

Yeah, no digression here. No funny here. I am sorry. Bad day. 

Also, I hit draft instead of publish so this is a day late. There will be another post later. 

What do YOU think?

When you are in the right.

It is everyone's nightmare. Bad neighbors. I recently had a discussion with a relative who just had some bad neighbors move in just across the street from them. Due to the fact that they live on a dirt road that is basically a driveway, their houses are closer to one another than they would be were it a typical street. This couple has no children but everyone else in the neighborhood does.


It is not very often that my relative and her daughter go outside. They are so busy! However, when they are at home, they both love to be in the front yard a great deal. The daughter is quite popular with the other kids in the neighborhood. When she does come out to play, there are about a handful of children in my relatives yard. They play tag, kickball, and stand around and have typical girlie chatter. This drives the new neighbors absolutely insane. Mind you, it does not bother them when it is other children. Just my relative and her daughter. Every time this neighbor sees my relative outside, she tries to start arguments and yells obscenities at her. At first, the relative was trying to have a conversation with her and even yelling back. This did not work so my relative would sit on her porch and just let it happen. It was fine until the neighbor started calling her inappropriate names in front of the children. It has even gotten tot he point to where the cops had to come out and tell the new neighbors to stop yelling obscenities at people. While the cops advised both parties to get along, my relative does her best to say nothing at all to the new neighbor and keeps her children away from that side of the street at all costs.


Since the relative has been doing everything right, the new neighbor continues her assault of screaming and making rude gestures toward the relative every chance she gets. This is not fair to the relative and when incidents do occur, they are very taxing. The relative is usually thick skinned but is unable to handle such an unhappy human being hurling offensive assaults at her every chance she gets. Everyone on this street either owns the homes or is there for a term of longer than a couple of years. My relative has a beautiful home and she loves it very much but she is considering taking a loss on the home and moving away because of this neighbor.


From my point of view, this is unfair for someone to make a persons life THAT miserable when they are not even part of the home. What right does the new neighbor have to take out her frustrations on my relative when there is no issue at all. My relative has even went so far as to mark off the corners of her property to let her daughter and daughters friends know what the boundaries are when it comes to the neighbors and to eliminate any accidental trespass by her daughter. Why should someone have to go that far. The incidents where the new neighbor does her screaming have become more frequent and occur about every three days now. As a result, the relative is on medication for stress and depression. The Dr advised that she just needs to stay in the house when she sees the neighbor come outside. The only thing is, the neighbor ONLY comes outside when the relative is there.


What would YOU do in this situation?