Day 19: There are unsaid consequences behind the thought that counts.

There are organizations out there who help people get ahead in life. These organizations (assuming they are legit) have good intentions and mean no harm if something bad results from their assistance. Often, it is not noticed for years that the thought of helping someone could have ramifications. I am no exception. There have been times when I have needed help and have been offered it. Humbly I took the offer.

In a specific example, I am referring to where I live. My family had the opportunity of a life time after working several years with an organization. We were able to have a home built and purchase it outside of conventional methods. While it is all legit, I am constantly reminded that I am in an area which is not the best for me or my family. To begin with, the "development" was built against a lot of opposition from the neighbors. There was a large chunk of land that the community services office purchased on the cheap and were allowed to build about 8 houses on that land. The neighborhood the land was situated in is an older neighborhood and the majority of the people living in the neighborhood have been there their whole lives or were raised nearby. It has roots in American History and the people here have that lovely southern charm. When I say charm, you should hear black undertones of sarcasm. Against their protest, the new homes were built and we were placed in one of them. 

Don't get me wrong, I love our home and it is beautiful to me. While it is not perfect in anyway, it belongs to us and we have no plans of going anywhere. (However if we become filthy rich by accident, there will be a vacancy here. I am sure of it.) We have been here nearly ten years. 

There is always opposition or some type of drama here and it all amounts to jealousy and hate which can only be found in the deep south. To begin with, I am nearly the only white permanent resident here. This makes things difficult for me. Not because I am the minority but I am obviously "not from around here." I think that the existing neighborhood has accepted the fact that we are here to stay but our children are constantly picked on and whenever I have to walk past the end of my street for something, a cop will ask me what in the hell I think I am doing walking in this neighborhood. I can even go and pick up something from the grocery store or a child from a game and the  minute I pass a patrol car, I am followed because I am "out of place." They must think I am up to no good. It doesn't help much that there is a high homeless rate in this city and there is a severe problem with prostitution and drugs. Hello officers! Not EVERYONE fits those categories. 

Once, in broad daylight, I was walking to the bus stop to get our children off the bus and a cop stopped in the middle of the road and asked me what was I doing there. I told him I lived a few houses over and he told me to show him some ID and that, it was not good to provide false information to the police. Yea, I flipped him my ID. He was embarrassed. I told him that it is not a good idea to "assume" things about people. Especially when they don't fit the description of the "typical out of place white female in this neighborhood." When he gave me my ID back, I just walked away. He had no other reason to keep me there and the bus was already at the stop. I gathered the children and walked back home. 

There are also people who are around who have ill intent to ANYONE that is not an ingrown stitch in the fabric of this community. They like to start trouble. They play cruel tricks on people because they are jealous of what others have and dislike outsiders. These people cause problems and laugh when their efforts result in fights and arguments and disagreements. One such trick was played on me not long after we moved here. While it is something I would rather not talk about, to this day, I still get blamed for something I had no part of. 

If there was a way I could prove my innocence, I would do it in a minute. Even if it meant giving up this house and going back to renting for the rest of my life. 

Like I said before. I like my home. I like my yard. It is nice and it belongs to my family. However, some neighbors just need to quietly go away or (in a different life) we could just chisel out our hunk of land here and put it down somewhere else far, far away from here. I try to keep to myself and I do everything in my power to keep people out of my life. Too much drama. This place around here simply will not let things be. They want to cause my family and my marriage to fall and that is why they cause trouble. 

Jealousy. 

The result of helping me has made my life a living nightmare. They should have thought about what they were doing before they put me in this spot. There were other spots but apparently, it was the thought of "you are blessed to have your own home! You should be grateful!" Whatever. 

Yeah, no digression here. No funny here. I am sorry. Bad day. 

Also, I hit draft instead of publish so this is a day late. There will be another post later. 

What do YOU think?

Day 9: Mommas Dont let your babies grow up to be cowboys (Waylon Jennings)

This is for all the ladies out there who are lucky enough to have a man bring you to meet his family. On many levels, this is a big step. It is one for the relationship, your love, and you. It is an important step in the relationship because it is an indicator that things are becoming serious and this is more than just some fly by night romance. It is a big step for your love because he thinks enough of you to 1. Expose you to his family and the eccentricities and 2. It opens the relationship and you to scrutiny. It means he is prepared to answer for all the flaws found in the relationship and your personalitym it is inevitable, he will be drilled and asked a mollion questions the next time he talks to the parental units without you. Finally, it is a big step for you because you will see the environment that produced this man and give you insight for some things that may need explaining but you were too afraid to ask.

It is a good thing that first impressions are important. Most of the time, the first meeting will be brief. You want to look decent, use your manners and still be you. This can be hard for some personalities. That is ok. Just don’t be too nervous.

Now ladies, I want you to be aware of something. Your other half may be the farthest thing ever from a Mommas Boy. He may not even get along with his mother that well. There may even be a step mother that raised your love. Take to heart every single thing this woman has to say. This woman knows more about your man than anyone else on the planet. No amount of long relationships, exes, or best friends can have a more candid opinion about this man than his mother.

The point I am getting to is this; if she gets you alone, things may be said. Mothers are protective of their sons just like fathers over their daughters. There is one conversation that I am going to discuss that you really need to pay attention to. (I personally never had this conversation with Cals mom. So this is not one of those been there, done that things. However, ecperience makes us stronger and I learned over the years. Strength with experience works fine too. Be strong phenomenal woman….I digress.)

Should this mother take you to the side, offer you a cup of coffee at the kitchen bar, look you square in the face and say:

“I hope you are ready to love my baby.”

Sit up and take notice. What follows that statement will give you great insight to the future. More specifically, should she follow that up with:

“It takes a special kind of personality to be attached to a (insert you loves last name here.)”

You have three options. 1. You run. Run very fast and very far. 2. Politely stay out the visit and break it off later. Or 3. Hope you have the intestinal fortitude to take whatever this man may have happen and dish out lest you become so frazzled you will want to jump off the pier during shark season.

Its easier said than done. Just remember lovely lady. Should you have that presented to you, consider your strength. This man will test everything you are about and you have been warned. Should you accept the challenge…it is for life and nothung will be the same.

What do YOU think?

Crunchy Caveman Fingers

In my family, I am the guardian of the super glue. As such, I am also the fixer of things...aka the inanimate object surgeon. I guess it is fitting because I am the only one here that has fulfilling conversations with objects. Yes. I talk not only to my family, myself, the dogs, the computer screen, and...stuff. (Hrm looking at that last sentence it was a down hill sentence huh? 《---- Haha. Digression. Yes, it is only funny if you get it.)  So yes, super-glue fix-it queen I am.

No one ever said that I did it well. While I fix the things and the rarely come back broken and I don't have to fix them anymore. I have yet to determine if it is because I slathered on the glue or that I really AM a good fixer glue it person. We may have to ask the Miles masses about that.

I frustrate myself when I come out of super glue lady mode. No matter how careful I am, it never fails that 4-6 of my fingers will be crunchy for days. Sure, ill rub them together, try various chemicals to get it off but I only make things worse. What I end up doing is running around the house rubbing my crunchy fingers on everyones arms ticking them all off. Hehehe. Gotta love cheap shots right? Well...now that the secret is out the family will probably run from me the next time I pull ou the super glue. Wow. They already about face when I have a headset on. I wonder how fast disappear happens if I put kn the ole headset and wave super glue at them. **Micaa rubs her jands together evily. Bwahahahaha...tonight...tonight super glue and I will take over the world!**

Super glue. Oh. Yea. When the super glue drues, I imagine when my fingers are rough with dried glue, that this is how caveman hands must be as they never had lotion and such. Crunchy and scrapey. Ya. They didnt need razors to shave. They just rubbed their face once over.

What do YOU think?

Coffee makes the world better.

For those of you who know me, even minutely, know that me and coffee have to be like peas in a pod or the world is NOT happy.  Sadly, 3 days before payday, I RAN OUT!  I scrambled up enough change to get Mt. Dew for the first day and that was ok. I survived and did not kill anyone and it was a great substitute….for that one day. The second day, I had about an inch left of the Mt. Dew (Yes, I went through almost the whole 1.5 litre the day before!) and I tried to save that until I absolutely needed it. By then it was flat and flat sodas are nasty. I still choked it down.

Enter random daily text messages from dear Hubby.

**Snort** **Growl** **Bite** **Draw Blood** All the while I am at WORK and you know that at work, Micaa has to play nice because she talks on the phone for a living! Yes, it was a near impossible feat but I survived it and no, there are no pending criminal charges.  So, work was ok. People tore my nerves to kingdom come but I didn’t curse anyone out and we were relatively busy so I didn’t have time to contemplate destroying the universe due to lack of caffeine.  This, I tell you, is a great service my job provided to the world!   (Yes, I digressed, here we go.) I was very snappy in my text messages to my love. I had to take a break and go tell him. “Look, sorry I am not being very nice. I have no coffee. No creamer. AND no soda! So yes, I am grouchy.” I did not want to alarm the children so I had walked out of my office and directly to dear Hubby and whispered that in his ear.

Know what he did? He started to belly laugh. The more I tried to explain my terrible attitude, the more he laughed. I gave him that joy. He needed a good laugh and he sure got it. He did tell me “WHY didn’t you tell me!!! I have a coupla bucks!  I could have brought you a soda when I came in from work this morning! You surely didn’t have to suffer like that!” (-.-)  ß THAT was my reply.

When I got off work, we went and purchased coffee and creamer yesterday. J

I got a BIG can so I won’t have this problem EVER EVER again.

Fast forward to 3 a.m. this morning.

Per my usual routine, I go to make my beloved coffee (after brushing my teeth of course…you NEVER want to smell your morning breath before coffee. Blech!) and I got the filter cup….opened the cabinet…pulled the lid off the can… and OH…..MY…..GAWD…..the smell of pure heaven!  I inhaled the scent ever so deeply and announced to the dark kitchen (yes, only the light of the fish tank illuminated my surroundings) “That smells soooo good! I just want to stick my face in it!!!” Happily, I went on about my day. When it was finally done brewing, that first sip was like nothing else! I. feel. So. Much. Better!

Later in the morning, I told our daughter what I said. She looked at me like O.o.  “Did you have your usual little can? You can’t stick your face in the little can mom.”  To which my giddy reply “No my dear, I had the big can so I honestly could have stuck my face in it if I wanted to!”  Here comes the peanut gallery filled with dear Hubbys’ voice “Oh yes! I could see mommy sticking her face into the can eating coffee grounds. Imagine it daughter! Bwahahahaha!”

There you go, everyone got a great laugh at my pain and suffering. However family, you DO sleep when I get up as I get up during the time the rest of the world calls “ungodly.”  Remember that when you go to bed tonight and beware!!!!

You all will sleep sometime…..when you wake…I will be caffeinated and IN YOUR FACE!  You will hate me so much but you think about that when you laugh at my uncaffinated state next time. Mmmmkay?

What do YOU think?

My Hot Beverage Part Deux

Those of you who are my dear readers know my affinity for coffee first thing in the morning. I made a discovery regarding my morning ritual. 

I have discovered that while I am a morning person, I am not so much without the warm mug I carry through the house as I get my morning routine going.  This morning, I thought it would be nice to do my morning chores (feed the dog, chickens, fish, scrub the dishes left from the midnight marauders, sweep out the barn, etc.) WITHOUT my tasty hot beverage.  The whole intent there, was to enjoy the coffee while I was sitting at my desk ranting about other things that I have had bouncing around in my head for a couple of days. (Sorry, this is a digression I don't want to take right now because it will go off on a tangent I am not ready for yet.) Boy was that a big mistake. I even reached the point where I forewarned my dear Calvin that I would bite as I had not had coffee yet.  What a brave man he is, however, he still approached me with a warm hug and kisses even though his life was in danger.  This is why I married him! (Ok, there is the digression! Hehe.)

Point being, my discovery is that I am NOT a morning person at all. Well, without coffee I am not one. I am a vicious, snarling, black widow who has been backed into a corner and is ready to strike when you get too close. In reflection, I was not very nice this morning. However, I have calmed a great deal as I have to reheat the second portion of my preferred hot beverage.  Yes, reheat.  Go ahead and get the ews and yucks out of the way. Part of my coffee routine.  I do the same to those of you with the foam and the double mocha lattee with just a splash of some other black oily substance.  I get about as fancy as putting flavored cream in mine and call it a day. Yea, I have tried that other crap but to tell you the truth, why am I going to get up, get dressed, fight the stupid drivers, stand in a long line and spend eight dollars on a cup of coffee that is truly crap once it becomes cold. Those things are not reheatable and I can take my eight dollars and drink coffee for the whole damn month and never have to deal with stupid people before I even get my caffiene injection in the morning. 

Yea, yea, it is trendy to put a second mortgage on your house to visit your favorite barista first thing in the morning. Go be trendy.  When my house is paid for, and your doctor tells you no more caffiene, you will think again about that 8 dollar mug of YOUR steamy goodness in a different light huh?  By that time, I will be paying only taxes and insurance on my home and sitting on my porch relatively stress free with my preferred hot beverage (likely decaffinated....**shudder**) watching the grand children play in front of the house smiling. I will be retired and you will still be trudging away AND, likely still at the local coffee shop every morning.

Ah yes, me and my tasty hot beverage. Friends for LIFE!

What do YOU think?

The Marshmallow Test

I recently seen a thing on TV where they took a group of 3 year olds and gave them a marshmallow and told themt hey had to hold it but wait to eat it. Those that did wait about 15 minutes or so were rewarded with a second marshmallow and they could then eat them both.  Those that didnt wait only got the one.  Simple enough.  They they followed these children through out their lives and into their early 20's or so.

They found that those that could accept delayed gratification were less streesed and better off in their lives than those who did not, overall.

O.o all over a marshmallow? 

Well, not really, it was an experiment related to parenting styles and that the parents that successfully taught delayed gratification to their children were setting them up to take disappointments in life with great stride.  Wow, such a simple thing can teach us wonders.

It makes you really consider how your parenting style affects your children and exactly how much they imitate what they see and how they adjust to life depending on the life lessons we teach them.  I try to teach my children to be survivors and I am guilty of the instant gratification thing. However, I wonder how whiners get away with it. I mean if a child will whine enough, most of the time they get their way and if they catch on to that, watch out. A lot of nerves will be pinched and a lot of teeth will be grinding.

I mean think about it. Children are great at manipulating their parents in some form or fashion. No matter the parenting style.  They are also great at imitating what they see and the stories they hear about "when I was your age."  I have seen it happen all to often that a parent will say to a child:

"Do as I say and not as I do"

Then the child will grow up and be exactly like the parent or even worse and then the parent wonders where they have gone wrong.  I can assure you that if you talked to them a lot along the way, they will file the good things away and reflect upon them when they make their own mistakes.  So long as you have not been abusive, or horrible to them, they still may turn out ok.  They do have to make their own mistakes and learn from them. Even when they are grown you can still talk to them. Still teach them by giving them the marshmallow and delaying the second one to see their response, if they cannot wait to eat the first one before getting the second one, then you have some work to do and we as parents can still work with our children to make them better people even if they are fourty years young.

They are still your children no matter how old they are.

What do you think about the marshmallow test?  See the link below for more information:

http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/health/2012/10/16/science-marshmallow-test-delayed-gratification/1636207/

Explore with your children. Let them get dirty.

I love a teachable moment with the kiddos. Especially about life lessons and doing things the way they were done without electricity.  I can assure you that, if the world were to go to shit, my children could plant and grow their own food. They could raise farm animals, purify and store their own water and rig up the house to fend off anything short of a nuclear holocaust.  They can shoot and throw and clean with the best of them. 

They can also do their math homework without a calculator and they certainly know how to read.  They also know that if there were no power, they can use their imaginations to play and make their own toys.  We have also discussed how to survive should there be no houses left either.  No, we are no survivalists and there are no "bug out bags" randomly stored throughout the house.  It is nothing like that. What this means is that we are teaching our children the basics of being self sufficient.  They can also make their own cooker out of wood and aluminum foil and other things. Yes, they know all about technology and can fix a computer with the best of them and they have their electronic gadgets and know how to operate a computer and a calculator. We do not prohibit those things, but if there were ever to come a time for survival. I know that our children can survive without assistance or help from a stranger. I know that they can grow up and figure out things on their own.

We let them get dirty and dig holes and let them color and paint with melted crayons.  That is what children do.  They argue and fall down.  That is what baths and band aids are made for.  They are allowed to fix their own disagreements with each other to learn social graces and human skills.

This is all something that many kids do not know.  I cannot tell you how it makes me cringe for a mother to break out the hand sanitizer every time her kid touches something off the ground.  They do not have to get up off the ground at the playground rolling a ball back and forth because it is "dirty."  I am here to tell you if you stop treating them like porcelain dolls, there would be a lot less asthma, allergies, and other things that people spend their whole lives with.  Did you know a vaccination is an injection of the disease it is seeking to prevent you from getting? If you take your children outside on a regular basis and let them get dirty from time to time, they will be a lot less sick in the long run.  They will be exposed to the stuff that gives people asthma and allergies at an early age when there are no issues and they will not become allergic to them simply for a lack of exposure.  It will also give them room to grow because they will run and play and simply be children. 

Each of my children went on an exploration day in the yard with me  when they were crawlers.  I found a nice day, took the baby outside and we explored the REAL world around us.  We lifted our faces and felt the warmth of the sun. We felt the bark on the trees and watched the ants crawl in the cracks.  We felt the grass with our hands and our feet. We felt the warmth of the sidewalk in the sun and the cool of the driveway in the shade.  We twirled a leaf between our grubby little fingers and blew a dandelion weed and watched the seeds. We pointed at squirrels and birds and bugs.  We felt the wind in our hair.  We felt the difference in the feel of the shiny leaves from the trees and the roughness of the rocks in the ground. We let dirt sift through our fingers and felt the running water out of the hose from the side of the house.  We didn't die.  We didn't get sick.  We went inside, washed our hands and went back to playing with our things.  However, the baby learned about the world and learned more than anyone will ever know.  Further, there was a special time only you can share with your child.  For me an mine, it was a day of discovery.  A couple of our children hated the way the grass felt on their feet and one other loved rubbing his feet in it. You learn something about your children.  How their curiosity works as well as discovering things on your own about how they perceive the world.  One of ours shied away from the bugs we were looking at.  This helped me figure out what would give him the willies-he seen a bug and they make him spaz out because he is afraid of bugs. 

I exposed them to the REAL world and I let them get dirty a little bit. That is what children do. It is in their very nature to be curious. They want to play and jump and run and explore.  While it is up to you to keep them safe and be their parent, let them play and jump and run and explore.  Further, explore with them. It is one of the best things you can do. 

What have you done with your child today?

Shh! Your Children are Trying to Tell You Something!

NOTE: This was posted across my other social networks under different titles. Here, this title is fitting.

With this technology saturated world, it is quite easy to stop and admire the beauty we have around us every day.  Each time we have to go somewhere as a family, the children do not understand my reasoning for making them leave all their "devices" at the house.  I feel like a drill sergeant or a prison guard checking pockets for stuff as they go out the door. I want them to have to look up and see what is going on outside the car window.  Apparently it is too much to ask that they leave the phones, ipods, and gaming devices at the house for the ten minute ride to the store because the clouds in the sky or the tractor riding down the street is not that exciting. Or is it?

When they do see that cool car that has the Froot Loops logo on it they are all "oohhh  aaaahhh, woooowww."  That is what I want them to see. Preferably, I want them to see that clouds can make shapes and how the leaves turn toward the sky when it is about to rain (that was something I didn't notice until my late twenties.) Or to even notice the homeless man pushing his cart down the street so we can have a conversation about that. You know, stay in school, don't give up, or some other character builder like that. What about seeing the lady in the motorized wheelchair. We can talk about understanding that each of us is different and that does not mean it is a bad thing.  I love those moments. They make us communicate face to face and that is something that is lost in the modern world today.

I know what you are thinking. 'What in the world has gotten into this lady! She is normally so on it, so silly. What happened?'  A mothers love for her children and a wife's love for her spouse get in the way of the skewed version of my life sometimes and I have to remind myself that I am human and this is a living planet.  This planet is beautiful. I see so many times how parents refuse to let their kids get dirty. I mean from REAL dirt. You know, go dig a hole or make mud pies or find a worm and pick it up.  It is not going to kill you! The great benefit there is that they learn real life lessons, they have fun, and they build up immunities and NOT develop things like allergies and other illnesses that everyone seems to have now a days.

Further, active children that play outside and use their imaginations are quite fun to watch. You can see them observe the world around them and have their own inner teachable moments. It is a beautiful thing.  You are not going to catch some disease by rolling around in the grass chasing a ball. It is not the end all if they get a little bit of dirt on their clothes. Whatever happened to changing into your 'play clothes' and going outside!  It is beautiful out there! Trees, grass, dirt, fresh air, and fun. Oh yea, and flowers.  So what if it is a dandelion. Show them how it turns your chin yellow when you rub it there. Our boys bring me flowers for my desk every single day. Dandelions, and other such weed flowers are fine. They think they are pretty and are sweet enough to pick them for me then I am going to let them. Even the dandelions thay blow away when you pick them up, you know, the little snowball things. We blow them. Yes sir.  Look at your child's face as they marvel in the fact that the wind carries the seeds away.  It is beautiful.

I must admit I am guilty of the electronic addiction. We all are. Just remind yourself to step back sometimes. Your children are trying to teach you something that you have forgotten. They are trying to teach you that the world is a marvel and we need to be in awe of it. They are trying to teach you that it is a beautiful place and to enjoy it because life is simply too short. As my husband says, that phone will be there when you get done, those messages will not disappear simply because you are not tending to them.  That electronic gadget will operate the same when you get back and it will not get lonely.

Put it down, smell the roses for childs' sake!

Road Rage: Better off in my own mind (with a nine!)

I try not to let stupid drivers get to me. I have plenty of other stuff to rage about or scream about without having to yell at some stranger for cutting me off. However, there is a time and a place for dicussions such as this and here is my forum.
One of the things that make me madder than hill is the fact that someone can run up on you super fast, cut you off, and then...........yep you guessed it............slow to a crawl right in front of you. What does this accomplish? Did you decide the moment that you got back in my lane, in front of ME, that you were no longer in a hurry to get where you were going? Truth be told, I will probably get to my destination before you and I was going the posted speed limit the entire trip!
Let me guess, you were on the phone and failed to realize that the more engaged you were in your chatter, the heavier your foot got. I call that the heavy talk syndrome. I am guilty as charged there. This is yet one of the many reasons why I do not talk on the phone and drive. It is against the law in most places these days. WAIT! Maybe you decided that you wanted to be Mr. Nugget McAssshole this morning because you woke up on the bottom side of the bed. Yeah! That is it. Well, sir, I am not the source of your frustration and taking it out on me silently by impeding my progress is something that simply should not be done. However, you chose me this morning so I am now faced with a dilemma.
Do I beat the crap out of my steering wheel (not its fault) and roll down the window to scream obsenities at you while my family slowly slides down in their seats from embarassment? What, pray tell, would that accomplish?? Nothing but another pissed off driver. Better off keeping that reaction to myself. Ok, another option would be to do the same thing. No, that will never work. Then you will beat on your innocent steering wheel and that is not called for either. Final, and certainly most difficult option? The best one, with practice, I say. You simply keep the rage in your mind and pull out your mental movie projector and play Death Race Michele in your mind and imagine how it would be to go into the next lane, push my kill button and out come the nails and just RATATATATATATATATATATATATA all over that bitchards wheels and shiny car so that they simply STOP in their progress and are successfully late for where ever they were in such a big rush to get to in the first place.
Muahahahaha. That would be great in MY perfect world. On the up side to that, remaining safe, and ignoring stupidity and getting out of the way of it is great! It also makes a lot less stress on my health and lets me remain alert for the next idiot that is surely going to do something just as stupid. Further, it is such a YES! moment when you are pulling out of Tim Horton's Coffee shop and you see that same fool, pulled over by a cop getting a ticket. Talk about stress for him.....I feel for that poor steering wheel.

Haters be hatin....for what?

Everyone has their own talents and life. Why should someone be so jealous of you that they have to gawk and stare at you everytime you are in the same vicinity?  If you are so miserable in your own life, then, why not change it?  Is that not the entire reason for change? To make things better?  That is what I was thinking.  Things are not meant to come to someone easy.  If you see a person that is in the place in THEIR life where YOU want to be, then, why not make a change and get there yourself?  Apparently, they have worked hard to get where they are and it is not up to karma to hand that to you with a silver platter. Life does not work that way, folks.

With that being said, I must confess, that I do not practice that mantra because I see people all the time that are in a place in life that I would rather be than where I am at. Don't get me wrong, it has nothing to do with my marriage or house or anything like that. It is little things that I am "hatin" on. Skinny blitches make me mad. However, I do not want to put that much work into getting there because where I am took many lazy days and chocolate days and years of not eating right. Why should I put all THAT hard work to waste just to go back to like I was when I was 17? (Joke folks, Bazinga!) I also want to be making a whole lot more money than I am making now. The way to get there? Work for it! Scratch and claw your way to get there or it is not going to happen. Ayup, I have people I am insanely jealous of because they make easy money. However, they did not get there just by happenstance.  They worked to get there. Do the work girl! Do the work.

Now, I also see kids that are about 12 or 13 that seem to think that the world owes them because they have had parents that divorced and they have learned the "poor me" routine and it has become so ingrained in their personality that they truly believe that everyone they come in contact with is going to dump money and opportunity in their lap. NOT GOING TO HAPPEN! Well, if it does, it will be short lived because people will see through that ruse and walk away from that.

Many folks love to have drama in their lives and will be miserable no matter what. Others will work hard at the wrong things and get nowhere and others will make really big mistakes in their lives and end up paying for them for the rest of their lives. There is no way around that. So, you take that learning experience and use that as a hint to take a different path because some ungodly sized tree has fallen in your way and you must move on.

While at times, it may not be the way you want to go, work with what you have and do everything you can to make the best or better of it.

Wow, I certainly wish I could take my own advice and run with it. But who wants to run on the treadmill three hours a day and work out all day long to get to the skinny blitch part (while I am not working I should do that.) Yup, I am going to be mediocre until something in me snaps and wakes up.

Ya, haters be hatin, but so am I....it is just easier that way. That is why!

To breathe or not to breathe, that is the question.

I dont get it. How in the world to people of the large persuasion do it!  I am (on paper) considerably overweight.  While I do not look very large, I am a little thick.  I just don't understand how people who are like DAYUM! (Yea, according to the comedian Fluffy, big like that.) breathe, move, and even just stay healthy.

Here I am in a situation where I feel just as crappy as I did when I was smoking only five (yes 1/4 of a pack for you mathematicians) cigarettes a day.  When I breathe, it seems that my nose will randomly shut off for a moment and I have to sputter or skip a breath just to get back right.  I can hear myself breathe and it is embarassing to know that I can take a 99 cent muffin mix, mix it up, bake it in the bowl I mix it in and eat the ENTIRE THING!  That cannot be healthy.

I also have found that it is easier to plan to do something then to get up off my lazy rumpus and do it. BAD BAD Cheley.  Lets not get into that habit.  When I finally do get up to do something, I feel good about it and think to myself, well, I should do this more often because it makes me feel better.

However, I believe that the one thing that I need to do is to actually FORCE myself to eat right.  If I can do that, then that is the step in the right direction.  I do note that there are so many factors that make me just want to eat whatever makes me feel good at the moment.  There are drawbacks here to cuz, it may feel good when I eat it but boy do I sure feel like crapola when I am done. The guilt, the should haves, the regret. Ugh.

Don't get me wrong, I am not looking to get the fabulous body I had at 18 that I hated anyway.  I just want to get rid of about 60 pounds ideally.  Then I would be about a buck thirty and I would probably feel a whole lot better! Even if I could get 20 I think I would feel better.  I am so tired of waking in the middle of the night to turn over or to "wake up" an appendage that fell asleep.  Nobody is supposed to have tingly limbs all the damn time!  That happens when you are chillen on the couch while your leg is curled under you. NOT because you happen to be sitting there minding your own damn business.  Lets get real.  Being of the larger persuasion is no fun!

I am not knocking those that choose to live this way or have found themselves the victim of a doctor with a sense of humor. (You know those medications with steroids in them that blow you up like a ballon.)  No, if you so chose to be large and in charge, then that is your business and I am not forcing my opinion on you. I am talking about myself. I want to be comfortable in my own skin.  I was almost there about nine or ten years ago when number nine was a baby.

Not anymore and I want out of this place!  Yea, my soul has a lot more room to bounce around in this body because of the size pants I wear but I am miserable! 

I wrote this because I took a walk today and have decided that because my hours have been slated back due to the slow season, I may try to go back to walking to see if it will help me lose at least the first 20 that I am so desperately trying to shed.  I will be able to run with my boys more, and do more in general.

What do you think? Are you with me? Any suggestions?

Does Utilitarianism require that your units of happiness are fulfilled?

Utilitarianism in its most basic form is the greatest amount of happines for the greater good. Defined in units of happiness, basically: the more the merrier. It is based solely on actions and their outcomes. What happens if there is no happiness and no matter the act, no utility becomes of it. What then?

Does that mean that, we are utility empty? I will admit I did take a few philosophy classes and while the concepts still seem abstract, I did catch the basics (or so I thought I did.) Ok. Lets take an example:

One of the problems I remember in the discussion of utility was the subject of capital punishment. While taking the life of someone as punishment is a bit harsh, it does take from the total utility of the world, does it not? Well, you are reducing the units of happiness from the person in the electric chair because the KNOW they are going to die a horrible death. No utility in his corner at all. You are also taking from the utility of the family of the convicted. They are heartbroken by losing their son, brother, cousin, uncle, parent, whatever. While this convict may not be the best person in the world (innocence project aside, lets say he did it, end of story) he was still someone's family member, no matter what. Lost utility for many years to come. Everytime a family member or close friend thinks back upon this person, lost utility units right there. Further, the people who have to do this deed are supposed to be good people, after all, we do not hire convicts and killers and psychopaths to run prisons and be baliffs, guards, etc. They have GOT to lose some of their utility in participating in the act of the capital punishment. Bottome line, lots of lost utility. No doubt.

Conversely.......

The streets are rid of a (possibly) career criminal, the jails are not supporting this convict and the families this person has affected in a bad way (good vs evil argument here?) are happy that he is getting his just desserts. So, where do the scales balance? Well, we have to sacrifice the one for the greater good of the group. Therefore, the sacrifice of the one makes the utility of the whole group better....so the argument goes.

Now, lets think about a totally different scenario but the same basic concept. You have a group of people on an island. In order for the most people to survive and be comfortable, one of them has to be pushed into the pirahna infested waters that surround the island. Due to the ritual involved, it has to be done in such a way that the person pushed into the waters shall perish lest the pirhana god come and devour them all. (Island religion, go figure.) They use the concept of utility to choose the member to be "discarded." While all of them are equal otherwise, how is that you would choose one when all are equal contributing members to the society? Should it be the weakest? The oldest? The youngest? What would you do in this situation?

Were it your family, what choice would that be? Difficult? Yes. For me, I would not want that burden. However, a choice has to be made or everyone will be reduced to zero units of happiness due to the peril of the whole group. While I am very thankful that choices like that are not made in my little corner of the universe, there have been societies that have had to make life or death choices for survival and if you look at the very core of what those choices were, I am certain you can find utility played a part in them.

Off my soapbox now, what are your opinions on utility and what do you attribute to the greatest happiness for the greatest good?

(Sorry folks, random tags so I can generate some discussion here.)

Coffee Apocalypse

Ever wonder what the world would be like if there were suddenly no coffee anywhere? I shudder.....
Personally, I would go through withdrawal. Likely near what you see in the movies when the junkie goes into rehab. I used to do that to myself (Why?) before we bought our home and I have no explanation for my behaviour.
Lets talk about what I went through. Some background before I begin. I would only do it when we would move to a new rental place. Things like that happen when you seem to choose every landlord that wants to jack up the rent to an unreasonable fee after living there for a year and you are good tenants. At any rate, I would even go so far as to personally pack the coffee maker in my car and it is the last thing out and the first thing set up. I would still torture myself by going a week without the liquid gold of a hot caffinated beverage every morning for that week. I never plan it that way, it just happened. I guess I was too busy with the move to make coffee or notice I was not drinking it. Toward the end of the week, I would become grumpy and have a blistering headache. (Yea, headaches don't blister, that is just the best explanation of how it felt.)
Had I went further than that, I likely would have had the shakes and everything else that came with not quenching my mind with the one thing that makes me enjoy mornings more than I normally do. But let me tell you, that FIRST cup after an incarceration in reality is like unicorns, rainbows, and glitter, all while winning the superbowl for the first time.
It was the best cup of coffee ever! Well, at least for the moment then I would pick back up with my wonderful vice like I never missed it.
Ok, back to the rant. No coffee, disappeared, poof, gone. Know what? I am certain that if there were a Zombie apocalypse at the same time, they would NOT have a chance. You just send the caffiene deprived hot beverage drinkers out (without weapons even!) and they would tear the heads off them blitches in no time flat! Hehehe.
I am certain there would be anarchy and chaos and there will be a lot of people in the hospital believing they are afflicted with some sort of illness due to the fact that they had to give it up cold turkey and South America would be invaded with millions of people looking for the last coffee bean so they can be the hero like in the book the Lorax.
Surely society would fall and there would be a loss of power and people would instill their own martial law and there would be no need for politicians to discuss gun control because they would all be hunkered down under their desks with their own AK 47's and AR 15's ready to shoot at the first noise they hear. Nervous? You have never seen nervous like someone WITHOUT their caffiene. I am positive that it will also be a time where things such as speed and other amphetemines (sp?) consumption would skyrocket for those lucky enough to get hold of some to quell their inner coffee drinker. People would truly be different folks.
Crime would go up, murders, gun violence, assault, battery, and there would be quite a bit more conspiracy theorists. Why did I add that last one? Well, those of us who are seasoned enough coffee drinkers do not think clearly about things before caffiene. They think about noises, and absently hear the news and it gets us to thinking things that may or may not be true. Heard the news this morning about the Batman bringing in the bankrobber? Yea, Batman is real, therefore it must be true, how nice of him to pay our neighborhood a visit. Had the coffee drinker had their coffee, they would look at the TV with their jaw agape and go "How STUPID is that! Trying to do that for attention is all." Yes, folks, CLARITY.
What are your thoughts on the Coffee apocalypse? (Also, open to suggestions for more rants, fill up the page please!)

Chicken on a skateboard

Look at the title for a moment. Kind of an abstract concept, isn't it? Now consider whether or not it is possible.  Is it?

Of course it is. Our life is filled with rediculous possiblities every day.  Some for better, some for worse. It all depends on what is going on in your life right this second.  If it is a possibility, is it a feasible one at this stage in your life?  Why would you try to achieve this "rediculous imposibility?"

Dreams, folks.  We all have them.  Why else would parents ask their children: "What do you want to be when you grow up?"  What happens after that question is what makes or breaks the vision that comes from that statement.  You can either foster that response and believe in it so that it is no longer rediculous but POSSIBLE.  Every poor child can grow to be someone important.  They can leave the oppressed life that they live. They need a good support system.  Even those children with one parent or parents that seemingly do not care, if they have a support system of another family member, a friend, or even the willpower to do it on their own, it is possible.

Take our daughter for example.  Now, we are not downtrodden poor.  On paper, we are in the lowest end of middle class (so I would like to think.) But my husband and I asked her what she wanted to be when she grew up.  Her answer?

An artist.

Well.  Nice enough.  Broad enough to encompas many things.  How many we did not know.  She was about to show us what a bohemian artist she will become.  That theme has not changed in her fifteen years on this planet and, at this point, I do not believe it ever will change. Oh sure, the basis has changed....painter, drawer, sculptor, brass musician, costume designer, music producer......dancer.  It has all come and gone and she has shown great potential in every bit of it.  A dancer since seven, draws on almost a daily basis, plays in the band but has self taught many instruments including the piano and violin, she paints everything and (most recently) has been designing clothes unlike anything I have ever seen but they are classy.

What will she be?  Well, I am certain that her talents will get her through college with little or no cost.  That is a great thing.  Therefore, the sky is the limit!  We have never crushed that spirit in her and if you see my family and I out and about, the tall girl tapping in her tennis shoes, that is our bohemian artist.  I love her.  Yea, she is a GREAT football player too.  Like I always say, more talent in one fingernail than most in their whole bodies.  Ok, so I am bragging. But who wouldn't.

The point is, if you see that something puts that spark in your child's eye, no matter how nerve wracking (tap, tap, tappity tap, get the milk, tap) it is, encourage it.  It is only in those circumstances that your child will bloom and grow and have that great life that you envisioned for them.  Yes, tough love, and discipline still. Make sure the grades are good.  Take away the phone for misbehaviour, but let the spark continue.  Many great people were made from one spark.

Let yours explode and make you proud.  Then, when they get on TV or are interviewed, they can look at the camera and go..............................HI MOM! :)

Netflix, old school love...If you know what you are looking for...

Ah yes, Netflix. Love it or hate it, it is going to be here for a while. People are paying 8 bucks a month to watch movies and tv episodes at their leisure, on their pc's, phones, and game consoles. (Some require an additional subscription of sorts.) Gotta love it. I am certain that it took a big chunk out of the pay per view market when it finally caught footing in the market.
I had the priviledge of a free trial of netflix and yes, we watched the Ong Bak Trilogy that night and it was all well and good but you would not believe the trouble we had to go to simply to find something that we wanted to watch. All the commercials make you think that their database of available titles are up to date and such but NOOOOOO you have to go back over 15 months to find something that is not ancient (in movie/tv terms.) We were amazed at how "dated" the titles were and there were a great deal of titles that we were like "HUH? o.o What is that?" It is not what it is cracked up to be for peeps like me (or dear hubby for that matter.)
While we did finally find something and were able to watch a few things, this whole netflix thing is not for us. We can take our eight bucks a month and find something else or find a great dvd at the store. I am sure there is a perfect fit as a Netflix customer out there. Why else would they be advertising IN YOUR FACE at every damn turn! Well, sorry marketing execs at Netflix, you have failed to impress this customer. You obviously have failed to impress others or it would not be a topic suggested to rant about, huh?
I am not knocking Netflix nor am I giving it a bad rep or review, it is just something that is not for me. You know, like tampons are not for the male population of the world. Well, at least most of it. (We are not including those that go out at 2 am and purchase said product for their significant other. I will say, that is love folks. Plain and simple. That is all I have to say about that.) Some products are a good fit for certain consumers and some are not.
I wonder what it would be like to own the super product. The one product that is in demand for every single person on this planet and there is no competition. Wow, every green thing growing on this planet has that and they do not even charge for it! That just occurred to me. Oxygen. Wow. These things work tirelessly everyday to produce the one thing that every human on this planet needs. Huh. Nice digression there (and a reflection to a previous rant. Just for one moment. BlInK!)
Yes, the Netflix commercials should have a disclaimer at the end or the bottom of the screen noting that "Netflix is not for everyone, should you experience boredom, loss of thought, contemplations of suicide or sleepiness, we suggest you stop using it right away and consult your TV Guide." or some such nonsense.
Thanks to Kat Neal for suggesting this one and for it to be in "the list" at the perfect time for me to rant about it.

Dead... Is It Really?

Let's venture out my front door and take a walk out my front door and saunter down the street. There used to be a large planter that tried to have flowers that blocked the end of the street near the creek bridge. It has since been removed. That happened when the owners of the larger subdivision up the block purchased several buildings in the lower half of my street as well as the subdivision that I live in. Here progress forgets. The Dead End sign that signaled to motorists that there was no outlet remains. Recently, someone changed the face of it. Maybe to make a statement? I believe so. Over the past couple of years, Myrtle Beach has allowed massive amounts of "improvement" building. Apparently they opened a window of time for building to occur and it has changed the composition of the city. Myrtle Square Mall is gone as well as the Pavilion, several waterfront bungalows, and many businesses that have been pillars in the community. Yes, progress has rid the city of some of the eyesores but it also has created eyesores that have never been seen. Never before has the plight of the homeless been as prevalent as it is now. Homeless camps in the woods are becoming more visible as they are getting larger and more and more you see prostitution and other illegal activities going on. You read the paper everyday and look at stores getting robbed, people getting murdered and other sad, sad news.

Is it Dead yet? Maybe not, but it is dying. Myrtle Beach was once a destination for the middle class with a little extra money to burn. The bike rallies are gone, the Pavilion, Myrtle Square, and of late, Hard Rock Park. Yesterday, Hard Rock Park's bankruptcy has been converted to a chapter 7 which indicates it will remain closed indefinitely. Unemployment is rampant and is in danger of being sucked dry. Job seekers turn to the paper only to find 4 classifieds in the employment section. I have never seen the job pool this dry. I am thankful daily to be able to have a job to go to. However that company is hurting just like the rest of upper lower America.

Maybe this absent artist is making a loud statement that should be heard. It is a statement of power in itself and should not be ignored. It is not speaking of a person or an entity, it is speaking of what is left in the wake of rampant Progress. Progress that is poorly planned and does not take into account all of the economic, environmental and social devastation it leaves behind. Dead...Is It Really? Maybe So.

My Inspiration

During the many treks my family makes through the Carolina's, my husband and I often chat about the passing countryside. Both of us grew up watching many miles of interstate out the window of our parents cars during the countless number of moves we both made to new states as children. As a result, we choose to take the state roads and the "quiet" routes to our destinations. Obviously many members of our families do not understand the thinking behind the routes we take. This allows our children to see many things that have faded to nothing more than words in a history book. We pass farms that were once vast plantations and on a couple of spots along the way up SC 501, we even see old slave quarters that are giving way to the elements. I hope to share some of these images with you as well as other things that I happen to see along my many misadventures in this mortal life.

I begin with the world closest to me and expand from there. I hope to share many insights into the life of the upper lower class life presently in the South. It is in these rough economic times that many of us reflect on the reality that is part of our everyday lives. I would like to think that we are entering into the Great Depression Revisited. Times are tough. The rocky road that our pockets are travelling is far from over and it is hot out there. People need to reflect on our history. Long gone are the memories of one time rich people jumping out of windows and committing other forms of suicide because the stock market crash hit their interests too hard. We are in the eve of that time and our society is crumbling at our feet. The rich are hurting and the poor are barely surviving. Those of us who are surviving with our heads barely above water see the cornerstones of our society giving way to the despair and hell the greed of man has driven us. Not only is it an economic depression, it is countless other factors as well. Everywhere, illegal immigration is a problem. While it is in everyones interest for our educated population to learn other languages, corporate and political America needs to be reminded that our primary language is and always has been English and nothing should change that. Progress is another thing. Progress pursued by those who have the means has left behind ruin in its wake and it is aesthetically bringing this country to shambles. The countryside is shrinking and will be endangered if we do not repair what we already have first. Everywhere I have been in my travels, I have seen too much progress. In my own community, for instance, the money makers and paper pushers have blotted out the light from the beloved Ocean Boulevard and have left the rest of the city to rot. All for the love of money. This rot is what I experienced recently when I decided to ride a bike to work. While I focus on the area between the beach and the Intracoastal waterway, it is Myrtle Beach that is rotting while the city council focuses on tearing down what made Myrtle Beach what it is and tries to make it something it is not.

I welcome all comments and critiques to my blog and take all suggestions into consideration. While these blogs may seem one-sided, they are merely opinions and insights by one person. If you disagree with what is in the following blogs, please be nice and do not bash. That is not the objective here. I just want to turn my thoughts into a form of art...electronically.