Showing posts with label parenting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label parenting. Show all posts

Saturday, January 24, 2015

Day 23: Dad's Little Red Car (Originally posted on WP)

Dad had a little red Fiat. Fiats are notorious for being little cars. If you think about it, have you ever seen one all grown up? Yeah me either. I remember he had this car for many years and It certainly seen many miles of this country. This is also the same car which was the instrument of my near death at the ripe old age of seven. Let me digress from my story by retelling this little snippet of my life. (Hrmmm, now that I think about it, from ages six to nine, I was a pretty persnickety child. But I digress from the digression. Haha, now THAT is talent!) Car…death…seven…ok. I used to spend time with Daddy by playing nearby and bombarding him with questions about what he was doing while working on the cars. He fiddled around with them a lot. I believe he was good at it because I don’t have a recollection of taking a car to a shop for repair when I was a kid.
One sunny afternoon, Daddy was working on something kn the interior of the car. This was different than sticking your face under the hood or sliding on a box under the car with your back. Curious, I hopped into the passenger side of the car and started berating him with questions. (After I gave birth to uor daughter, he told me it helped him figure out tough fixes sometimes. :)  ) This conversation is very clear to me because it was the day I received my education about the meaning of the letters next to the gear shift. Park, drive, neutral, reverse, one, two. Got it. Daddy warned me to neverr messwith the gear shift; even when the car was off because it could roll away.  Ok. Got it.
Remember I told you I was seven? Remember I said I was curious? Remember I was persnickety? Yea. One could say I was an “amazing child.” Keep this in mind as I lay out the scene…
We lived in a Seattle neighborhood in the community of White Center. We didn't have a traditional driveway. Instead, we had a gravel/dirt area that ran along the street at the front of the house. Sort of like a parking lot, you would just pull onto the dirt and park the car. There was a wooden fence that divided the parking area from the front yard. Our house was two upper stories that could be seen from the street. There was a slight opening that went from the street to the house. What you could NOT see from the street was a sheer drop to the back yard. If you were to look at the house from the alley, it would be a three story house as there was a full apartment in the basement. There was a wall on each side of the house which had stairs leading up to the front yard.
Back to the front yard. Looking from the street, Daddy parked his Fiat on the right side, perfectly in between two bushes that were on peering over the fence from the front yard. This means there was nothing but grass and open space to the wall that dropped to the back yard. Note seven year old Micaa playing nearby. (Ya that's me.)
I decided to hop into the drivers side of the car and pretend to drive. After about ten minutes, I looked down at the gear shift. Surely the car wont move while it is off. Daddy just told me that so I would not mess with it whole he was working on it. I reached out and pushed the button and pulled the gear shift back. It stopped in neutral. What happened next seemed like five minutes but it was more like five seconds.
The car began to roll. It crashed through the fence. Just flat ran it over like knocking over a domino. It quickly rolled across the yard toward the wall leading to the back yard. At first I panicked. I just watched the crab apple bush get bigger as I rolled toward it faster and faster. I snapped back into reality, looked down, and popped the gear shift into park. The Fiat came to a jarring halt. The wheels inches from the edge of the wall. The fiat was a millisecond from dropping 12 feet into the back yard with a seven year old driver.
Whew! I got out of the car, looked around, making sure no one seen me and went to my room to play. Later, when asked it I knew what happened, I pretended I didn't know. The car was put back and the fence taken away. (Breathe!!! Mini digression over. But yea, not so mini.)
Dad had this Fiat for many years. When he could not fix it anymore, he traded it in for something else. It was still in “driveable” condition. He drive up to the lot and swapped cars. A few days later, the owner of the car lot angrily called the house and gave my mother what for. Now Daddy is a smart man. He told my mother not to worry about it. He went on to tell her that “I proved to hom tha Fiat was driveable. He never asked me if the bottom was going to fall out of it 45 minutes after I left the lot. Its his problem now. The papers say as-is, Pat.” He then flashed that smile and did that Douglas giggle only a Barrett can do.
That was the end of the Fiat.
What do YOU think?

Saturday, April 5, 2014

Never stop smooching your children's faces.

Small children love to give their parents kisses and hugs.  As they get older, that enthusiasm tends to wane and, for parents like me, makes us sad.  Therefore, I still like to catch them when they first open their eyes.  They are still full of love for mommy or daddy and that first morning hug makes anyones' day.  I still even sneak into the teenagers room and kiss her forehead whilst she is sleeping.

I never miss an opportunity to tell them that I love them. Just one more time. There will come a day when you will not be able to as they will have their own lives and will not remember the joy of a hug from mommy or know the thrill mommy gets from that unconditional love of her child. 


Some children are great and that love for their parents never falters. Those are the rare diamond in the rough. However, know that each child loves their parents in their own way. Maybe just not like the parent wants them to.


Children, remember that your parents are your biggest fan and when it comes to you being successful, they will move mountains for you to get that one opportunity of a lifetime.  I think this is where the disconnect comes with teenagers.   Teens want so much to do their own thing but still need guidance of their doting parent. They just don't know that yet.


This one is short and sweet.  What do YOU think?

Sunday, August 4, 2013

Well if that doesn't condone a Hitler-cannibalistic attitude toward life.

Have you ever paid attention to that cereal commercial where the cereal devises underhanded ways of eating each other?  In a world where bullying is a real issue in schools and the great movement to actually curb such behavior, we sit back and laugh and snicker at these fool pieces of cereal.  To what end?

Is that not the very thing that we are seeking to prevent the children of today from doing?  Is it not condoning cannibalism?  What if some child, who knows no better, ends up doing that to a peer?  Then what? Blame the parents?

Yes, the parents are to blame but only partially.  It is up to the parents to talk to and teach their children the difference between right and wrong and it is up to the parents to certainly tell their children that cannibalism is not something that people in this society do anymore.  We need to talk to our children about the things they are exposed to and to let them know what is reality and what is simply make believe. We also need to teach them that some forms of behaviour that are seen on television are certainly not appropriate for action in real life.  Would you not agree that the same needs to be done when they see one of the cartoony poptart commercials?  Those commercials are teaching kids that it is alright to treat a certain type of living thing a cruel way simply because it is funny.  Those kids trap pop tarts (who are personified) in toasters and devise ways to get them into a warm place simply to toast them alive.  Well if that is not teaching torture methods, then what is?

Yes, it is funny to watch but you need to realize that some children are exposed to this and are never taught that it is wrong or immoral.  They are exposed to these behaviours and see these characters laugh and giggle at their own behaviour and believe that off the wall things like locking someone different than you in a creamatorium is funny.  What the children aren't exposed to is that you cannot take behaviour like that back. 

Exactly, it does not show the consequences of said "funny" behaviour.  So tell me, who is going to guide our future generations along the path of salvation and non bullying behaviour.  Well, it certainly starts at home, with the parents that HAVE TO TALK TO THEIR CHILDREN. We were talked to growing up.  The only difference between then and now is that we had to live life and not be sucked into electronics hours and hours a day.  As a parent, you have the control to change that and encourage our children to treat each other with respect and as human beings. Put the electronics aside and let them know, cannabalism-you can't take it back and it is wrong. Toasting those that are different from you-you cannot take it back and it is wrong.  The latter even being Hitler like......eck.

What do you think?

Thursday, June 13, 2013

Proud moments as a mother.

Not long after we moved to the beach, I had set a cheese board to smoulder on the stove.  Calvin was at work and I was sitting with the oldest son and youngest daughter assisting them with their homework at the dining room table.  It was dinner time. You know mw, Ms. Multi tasker (even at seven months preggo, I was pretty good at it.)  Well, the dining room table was off from the kitchen, sort of in the living room.  It also happened to be about five feet from the back door.
While cooking, I happened to turn the wrong burner on to boil a some water.  Ikept a small, wooden, cheeseboard on the back burner and THAT was the burner I turned on instead.  While we were not in the kitchen, it had a chance to fill our small kitchen up with a great deal of smoke. Then the AC kicked in and smoke just ROLLED out of the kitchen.  Everything else seemed to happen at the same time.  At the instant we noticed the smoke, the smoke detectors went off.  I immediately knew what I had done as I do that chit all the time. So I got up an took two steps toward the kitchen.  My mind was racing and focused on getting that cheeseboard off there and into the sink before it burst into flames. At the same time, I also thought of the kids. I turned around, and CJ was still sitting at the table...totally not knowing what was going on. I am certain he knew exactly what I did.  There was not a fire....YET.  I turn to look for Alyssa and all I see is the back door swinging.
I lean just a little bit to my left and see a tiny face of a five year old, about twenty feet outside the back door trying to get a glimpse of what was going to happen next.  I will take the time to tell you I could not have been more proud of our baby girl in that moment. I immediately took care of the cheeseboard, no fire, just a lot of smoke. Whew!  Then retrieved our daughter and covered her face in smooches and filled her ears with praise.
She had done the right thing.  In hindsight, it was cute and funny because she got the Hell out of Dodge Jack!

Now, lets move forward ten years:

My dear readers know that I am a WAH professional and I work from home.  The other night, I was working and a thunderstorm came through.  Just after I shut down my computer and systems, there was a terribly bright lightening strike as well as horrible thunder.  I heard my kids in the next room scrounging around.

When I finally got everything settled, I walk into the hallway to a pitch black house. What happened next would have been a good scream scene for a horror movie (provided that I screamed, of course.)
The darkness began to speak to me in children's voices. O.o....I held up my phone as I was not near a light switch and seen that my children were all sitting on the couch, in the living room, in the dark.  Well, well, well.  I found out later that Alyssa corralled the children to the couch and turned all the lights off to be safe during the storm.  Another proud moment, I must say.  However, when the ten year old got up to use the bathroom, (I had joined them in the darkness, of course, it was quiet and I was NOT going to pass that up) he turned the light on so he could see.  Here comes Alyssa "All that electricity!!!!"  Hahaha.  Yes, she was being overly cautious, but she was being safe all in the same breath.  Yes, Momma is proud!  Daddy taught her that and she absorbed the safety knowledge well.

I am confident, as a parent that she will be safe and have an emergency plan when it comes to nature bringing forth her rage.  I can only hope that it will spill over into her interactions with people when she goes off to college or begins to have a more colorful, (yikes, and even less structured) social life and as an adult.  We parents spend our entire lives teaching our children to be safe and to be their own person and can only hope that the values we establish for them to mirror are the good ones and that they apply them to their own lives and go on to be productive adults who get to live long, healthy, and happy lives.

This is the direction I believe our daughter is heading in and I could not be more proud.  What proud moments have you had (like these) with your children?

Have you ever had a moment that was potentially catastrophic and hilarious all in the same moment?

Sunday, June 2, 2013

Write letters to your children. Often

This morning, I woke to some movie where a group of kids were graduating high school. I imagine it was one of those where they did some epic journey to get there and they have come to the realization that their lives are all about to change. No wonder I was pondering the things I sat on the side of the bed and realized.  As a parent, they were very sobering thoughts.
While I know everything that my children are doing right now, something finally sank in.  In the same year, we have one (our youngest) graduating Kindergarten and another about to start high school.  Still the third is about to transition from the little kid to the big kid and enter the fourth grade.  I have one word for that.
                                                                            WOW.....O.O
Our children really do grow up so fast!  I know that they will always be my babies.  My heart holds that to be a fact but they are becoming their own people.  While this has been quite an eventful year so far (for lack of a better description,)  I cannot help but celebrate their achievements and be their biggest fan.  Even with the oldest two out and doing their thing, they are all still my children and I am still their mother and I could not be more proud.  Love your children folks, no matter how distant you are and no matter what they have done.  They are a reflection of yourself and you should be so proud.
One thing that I have done over the years is I write letters to our children.  No, they don't get them and I am not sure if they will ever read them.  However, if they do, I certainly hope that their love of reading will kick in and it will be the best read ever!  I know, you are all like: Wha?????  What I mean is that I do write them. I write them often and every chance I get.  While this was supposed to be some exclamation on my death bed, I want them to know right now that their life stories will be chronicled through my eyes so be on the look out for that when I go home to live with the angels.  I write these letters and I keep a chapter for each of them.  Sort of my gift to them when they are grown.
I write these and I put them aside.  I want them to know the joys, heartaches, and celebrations I had as having the best job on earth. Being their mother.  No holds barred folks.  Anger, joy, revelation, and simple observation encompass each page and I can only hope that they will even read a few.  I have always believed that the best story is your own. No matter what ups or downs you may have had.  I think it to be the best thing I can leave them. No amount of property or money or bequests can replace what your life story is.  Oh, it is illustrated too. Pictures, school work, write ups, little things from the heart they gave me.  That is the whole purpose of a file cabinet.  Not to hold receipts and important documents but to hold MEMORIES!  I love it when I go through my moms things and she has the little things I have given her over the years.  Especially true as a kid.  For example...She has this treasure chest thing.  She would always let me play with it when she would clean out her jewelry box.  Fond memories there.  Inside it right now is some trinket I gave her as a little girl.  Some years back, some lovely person created this "floam" stuff.  We allowed our daughter to stay the summer with my mother and when we picked her up, that treasure box was covered in  the stuff.  Artfully done, it still has that intrepid junk on it but I look at it and imagine the memory of MY daughter sitting next to her grandmother on the bed as they went through the jewelry box and the treasure chest was given new, colorful life with floam.  Memories are the best. Even a bad day is made better for just a moment by a great memory.
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNGGGGG, mini digression there. (Pun intended.) It is never too late to write letters to your children.  Even if they are teenagers or grown for that matter. WRITE THEM!  You have so much to say if you are not starting the day they were born!  Most of us do it (in a fashion) anyway if we keep a baby book through age five.  Why stop there?  No, there is no strict schedule.  Just when the moment behooves you to do so.  They can be a half a page, a few sentences, or a mini chapter.  Write them!  Let them know where they are in your golden years and make them promise not to peek until you are their angel watching over them.  It will enable them to remember the good times and to see themselves in a different light. Through their mothers eyes!  Yes!  Nobody sees them quite like their mother.  What a wonderful gift to give your child.
Write them when they are little. Write them when they get married.  Write them when they fell down and got the "biggest boo boo ever."  Write them for no reason.  Write them because you have started when they are adults and you have so many stories to tell.  Write them to say "I love you and I am proud" and nothing more. Anytime will do folks!
I know that many may not even like to write and that is ok.  Leave them something for them to know you were in tune with them no matter how busy you may have been.  Over the years, there are flowers, drawings, simple little what nots that were given to you from the heart and for your children to see them again when they become their own people it something that would bring joy to their hearts.  All of the no's, and groundings, and attitudes will be forgotten and, just for a moment, they will remember what you are...........Mommie! (Dads can do this too, it is not limited.  Just because I am a mother, I am writing to the fellow moms out there.)

Sunday, April 28, 2013

The Future of Tech Support

Many of you already know that I am a technical support representative by trade.  Good times.  Goooooood times! (Cosmoism) It never occurred to me that the children pay attention to what I do when I am at work. Yes, I work from home doing this stuff.  In every technical support situation or any electrical "fix it" situation, you begin with checking that it is plugged in properly and unplug everything and then plug it back in one piece of the equation at a time.  Simple stuff.  That will fix about seventy five percent of your issues then it goes into the more complicated stuff.

Before I began to do this, the way to fix things was to beat the holy crap out of the thing or kick it and pray that it continues to work for at least the next three months or so as you begin to save funds to replace the thing being stupid in the first place.  What did your television ever do to you?

With all that background, let me get to what I am ranting about.  I often worry about what our number nine is going to do when he becomes a functioning member of society.  I would hate to think that he is going to work at a fast food restaurant for the rest of his life as a burger flipper.  I know he loves his video games and taking things apart and he can pick apart a game to the very stitch.  That is something.  There are actually jobs out there developing video games and what not.  His math skills are excellent and he loves math period!  If reading were to be as fun for him as math, he would be dangerous! (The next Dr. Sheldon Cooper???) So we talk about that a lot and he loves electronics.  Great!  There is a future there at the moment.

I was sitting in here on FaceBook (what else do I do with my free time?) and there must have been some issue with the living room tv as I heard the following conversation:

Nine: Joshua! Don't hit it! That won't make it stop!
Six:  But that fixes the other TV!
Nine: I know but we are going to try something else.
Six: OK.
Nine: Turn the TV off first, then the cable box and let me check something.
Six: ***turns off the TV then the cable box***
Nine: I have to check and make sure it is plugged in to the wall. We may have knocked it loose playing Xbox yesterday. ***Grunts and mumbles as he crawls behind the TV stand to check the plug***
Six: Can I turn it on yet? I wanna watch Robot and Monster!
Nine: NO! Let me get out of here first. We are going to turn things on one at a time!
Six: ***pouts*** Ok.
Nine:  Ok, now, Turn the cable box on first
Six: ***pushes button***
Nine: Now turn the TV on.
Six:  Yay!!!!! We did it!  It works!
Nine: Told ya to listen to me, we have to do it one at a time or it wont work. You don't have to hit it.

For my fellow WAH peeps that have worked in Tech Support. You can imagine how proud I was sitting here listening to that interaction!  I was beaming so loud you would have thought the Sun came to visit my office.

Anyone else have a WAH story to share?