Day 25: When killing off a character

When I started writing my current book, I had no intention of killing someone off. Nor did I have the intent for it to take the turn that it has. I have found it difficult to convey the feelings and emotions my characters are experiencing but the story must come out like it has. It is not that I am having difficulty coming up with the circumstance, but I scare myself when the words begin to flow. I assume that is how it is supposed to be. If the author can invoke emotion by simply rereading and tweaking the paragraph, the first successful step has happened. Or is it something else?

I find that I have pieced this together haphazardly and can only hope that the finished product (for this part of the story at least) conveys the amount of terror and fear that I intend to convey. I am by no means a horror writer but I have found that I hate this character just as much as the character that is committing this brutal act. I am not saying the person doing the killing is right or wrong or evil or not. I will leave that for you to decide when the time comes to publish. I just scare myself sometimes. It also has become an all encompassing thing in my thoughts. I dream about it, I eat it, I breathe it, it is in the far reaches of my brain and I feel I can only get over it when it is finally on paper.

Therein lies the difficulty.

I am by no means a monster but I have created one. It bothers me. Just like seeing someone hurt someone else in real life or on a Facebook video bothers me. It keeps me awake at night and I just know if I can get this damn thing done, I will be ok. It would be different were it someone real I could base my vengeance on and do what the general public believes authors to do. You know, piss me off and I will kill you in my book. That is a terrible connection. What if the writer has always been one who writes in the horror genre? I have a hard time believing that writers like Stephen King and (in other genres) Dean Koontz or eve Louis L'amour had that many people piss them off in their lives. Come on people, be realistic (hehe, get it? Realistic in a fiction author's mind? Ah, I digress.)

This is the first time I have tried my hand at a fiction novel. I have done short stories and paragraphs before and this thing is making me sick. Not in the sense that I hate it but in the sense that if I don't get it out of me soon, I will explode! I used to wonder why people took so long to write books. Some authors will put into their forewords or introductions how long they worked at a piece. I now understand.

Just. Wow. I get it peeps. I get it. For those of you who write, what is the most difficult piece you have ever done?

What do YOU think?

Day 11: Writers constipation.

I have been working on the latest novel for almost 2 years no. I know sometimes it takes time but I am ready to move on to the next story. I assume that is why I am hyperfocused on blogging. That is ok because it allows me to write about a variety of things and take a break from the sick and twisted minds of Jake and Anastasia. I must say that their story has taken a turn down a different road and it has evolved into something entirely different. I am sad because a lot of the stuff I jotted down in the beginning will not be used and it was pretty brilliant. (In my mind it was, anyway. Not that it would see the light of day in my lifetime.) However, I am happy because it takes the story from something mainstream to a darker topic. I have always wanted to try my hand at the (OMG! Exactly why I am writing this! I will be on a roll and then when I get to a certain point, I space out and stare at the blinking cursor for about 5 minutes. You know, sort of like walking into a room and trying in vain to understand why in the HELL you came in there to start with! I JUST did that chit. RIGHT NOW!  Ah, I digress....I remember now.  Haha, Yes, my brain walked back to where it came from and figured it out, we walk back into that room for the thing.) darker aspect of the human way of thinking and I believe this is the way it is going now. Ya, I know, Not giving you much am I?

Right now, the few things that people know about this writing is that the main characters are Jake and Anastasia, I am currently writing about killing someone off, AND I believe I have my book cover. I have some tweaking to do on the cover but when it is done, I think the daughter will kill me. Ironic huh?

I am at an impasse at the moment. Not that my family knows the habit yet, but when I am carrying around whatever it is I am writing my current story on nearly everywhere. There is something that needs to be written but it is..stuck. Sort of like being constipates. Only, for a writer, it hurts much more than the physical discomforts of not being able to take a crap. I take my writing pad into every single room in the event that inspiration strikes or I get that moment of....freeflowingthoughtwhichmy writinginstrumentcannotkeepupwith.  It has yet to happen. I cannot sleep right, (right....not well...different things here) I cannot eat without thinking about how to put it into words and I cannot do anything without that blue tablet calling to me. Its almost obsessive.

So here I sit. Waiting. Waiting for the plumbing to get backed up so I can get it all out and Oh. My. Gawd. Will it feel good. This book has been a long time coming and I have promised a 2015 publish date since I did not put one out last year. I hope this is one that will be liked and I hope to overcome a lot of the errors I made with my first book. For now, the tablet sits upon my desk taunting me. Asking me to add the....OOPS! I almost gave it away! BAD Micaa!

Until then, what kinds of things do you do to relieve the writers constipation (or for those of you politically correct lovelies-writers block.?)

What do YOU think?

Day 1 of 365

I sort of fizzled on the NaNoWriMo challenge. I now have made it my challenge (NOT resolution. Resolutions are destined to fail) to write a page a day. Initially, it was going to be a book but nah, I will just blog myself to death. I rather enjoy it and who knows, maybe I will amass followers who actually read this stuff.

I have no silliness or awkward view on things this morning so I will just let the thoughts flow through my fingers until I think I have written enough. I am going to start with asking your opinion. What do you think if I were to take some of my favorite posts and make them into a book? It is mainly for people like my mother who never access the internet. Heck, she does good operating the VCR and call waiting. I think that is about as far as she WANTS to go. She has had the interwebs in the past and has even had a cell phone or two but they are just not her thing, I guess. I know maybe she will laugh at some of my insights and roll her eyes at the others. I am positive there are even some she will just scratch her head and go "WHA???"  That is the point. If I can elicit that type of response out of some of my readers, then I have succeeded.

I have discovered that its not about numbers when you blog. Its about putting your writing out there and keep putting it out there. Who cares if you have 50 or a million followers. (Well yea, a million followers would be great but you have to EARN that.) I have learned to accept that my time will come. Some people do not get their yearned for recognition until they are worm chow. If my stuff gets out there now or when my grand children are grown, as long as it has made it to someone to read and enjoy, that is the point. So yea, maybe one day I will have enough to collate my posts into a book and send it to my mother as a gift. Yes, I will put it out there for sale because anyone could use a buck or two but it will be just for her. I am sure she will appreciate that. (Of course any mother would appreciate something hand made by her kid. Yes, it is hand made because I wrote the ENTIRE thing.) Maybe I will put a picture of her in it and write a snippet or two about her as well. Who knows. I just know it is something I have been seriously considering over the past few days and I know that she will at least read it. She IS a reader, after all.

Ok, I think I am out of this topic. Pen down, turn your booklets in folks.

What do YOU think?

Will there ever be a reprieve?

This is my attempt to get some variety between my channels. Most of the time, I will just copy and paste a post from WordPress to Blogger to author page. This morning, it just hit me to try something different. Besides, the more I write, the less "inflated" I feel. I am finding this post to be a little more difficult as there is usually a thought process involved before I actually sit down and write something.
This one, in the attempt to be different, is just random chit floating through my head and was intended to be a thing about money and morphed into something else just after I wrote the title. I know, I should always write the content then find a fitting title. Some say it's easier but you know me and shock value. While it is not shocking to anyone else, it is still a writer's eccentric habit and that is shocking to other writers.


I have always written or kept a journal since I was a kid. While my writing has evolved and life circumstances dictate that I write differently, the need is the same. Its like breathing. A writer is not healthy without writing SOMETHING. For me, there are things that I come across during the day that I think "that would be awesome to put out there with my skewed line of thinking." Others never see the light of day either because I forget or it is just not there anymore by the time I get near my computer. Yea, I need to get a laptop again. I avoid my office like the plague when I am not working. Too bad I don't make enough to work ONLY on my writing. I am certain there would be a lot more accomplished there. But that is the digression here and yes, a topic for another day.


The reprieve I am asking for here is because, sometimes, my fingers just are too tired from working or writing other things to type out what I have bouncing around in my head. You see, it starts off as a random thought floating into the room. That thought begins to replicate itself and then bounce around in my head until it is all encompassing and I have to "get it out."

http://favim.com/image/292169/

This is why a writer HAS to write. My curiosity is this: How much CAN a writer write before they are satisfied that they are done? Even if only for one day. I write and get my quarter machine bouncy balls out of my brain. However, once the room is clear...here comes another. Is there a way to shut the door they happily bounce from? If there is, do I WANT to have that door shut?

THAT, my friends, I do not have the answer to.

What do YOU think?



Leadership Posting number 1

I write several blogs among other things. I like to think that I am right up there with my favorite author Stephen King, with the fifty or so pages every day. I am published and am currently working on book number 2. I write for here and WordPress. I write letters to my children (for their own stories) all the time and I have a paper due for Doctorate studies each week. I have social media as well. Finally, I have a blog for work that I have started over the past year.


The following is a new feature in my work blog. Leadership posts. It is based upon the idea that good leaders have specific traits and I want to share these traits with people. Even if the reader is not interested in being a leader and wants to remain amongst the sheeple, that is ok. This will still help make you a better human being. Certainly true if you deal with the public at all.


Here it is:


One of the most redeeming qualities I have found in the leaders that have the most effective teams is that the know how to listen and can listen well. This is something that can roll over into making a customer happy. Sometimes an angry customer just wants to vent and it is most effective at someone who will LISTEN.  While you do not have to agree with them, a  great deal of supervisor calls are resolved by just listening to the frustrations of the customer. Their issue may not get any further than what the agent has already done, but the listening part is key to get them to calm down most of the time. 

(Back story because I always have one....I came across the below information cleaning out my briefcase that I found in the attic last night. For those of you who don't know me, I was a paralegal and have a PhD in Law. Yes, I like to argue. That is why I had this paper in my briefcase because listening was something that was vital when it came to flushing out the real issues in the legal field.) While I scanned it and posted a pic of the document below, I will write it out for you so that you can read it clearly as some of it is fuzzy. Yes, there is a spill. Disregard that, stupid attic weather....

HOW TO BECOME A BETTER LISTENER

1. STOP TALKING: You can't listen while you are talking. 

2. ONE CONVERSATION AT A TIME: Don't try to engage in two conversations at once. You may hear two people at one time, but you can't effectively listen to two conversations at once. 

3. EMPATHIZE WITH THE PERSON SPEAKING: Try to put yourself in their place so that you can see what the speaker is trying to get at...YES, this is not as easy as it sounds but a restatement of what you've heard or an appropriate question will often uncover areas of miscommuncation.

4. ASK QUESTIONS:  That's right, we did just mention asking questions. But it's so important it bears restating. When you don't understand or when you need further clarification, ask questions. Don't ask questions that are a form of a statement about how smart you are on a subject. If you have information to offer, make a statement. 

5. DON'T INTERRUPT: Don't interrupt when someone else is speaking. Give the speaker time to say what they have to say. THEN, and not before, ask you questions or take issue with what the speaker has said. MIND HOW YOU TAKE ISSUE WITH SOMEONE ELSE'S STATEMENTS.

6. SHOW INTEREST: Look at the speaker - Their face, mouth, eyes, and hands. All these things will help the speaker communicate with you, and this effort will help you concentrate. Eye contact is significant. 

7. CONCENTRATE ON WHAT IS BEING SAID: Actively focus your attention on the speaker's words, ideas, and feelings related to the subject. If you are in doubt as to the subject, a question is in order.
 
8. DON'T JUMP TO CONCLUSIONS: When you do, you tune yourself out from the rest of what the speaker has to say. You may tend to think to yourself, "Hurry up and finish because I've got your point." or by rudely interrupting and saying, "Yes, yes. I know what you mean. What else is new?" By doing either, you run the risk of misunderstanding the entire conversation because of a premature conclusion you drew. Yes, there are some people who drone on and on. At the appropriate break or pause, ask if you've got the gist or point by summarizing what you've heard. This is a polite way to test the point. 

9. CONTROL YOUR ANGER: Try not to get angry with what they are saying. Your anger will most likely prevent you from understanding what is really being said. Plus, it is YOUR RESPONSIBILITY TO DEAL WITH YOUR FEELINGS!
10. REACT TO IDEAS, NOT TO THE SPEAKER: Don't allow your reactions to the speaker to influence your interpretation of what is being said. Their ideas may be good even if you don't like them as a person or like the way the look or speak or move. 

11. LISTEN FOR WHAT IS NOT SAID: Sometimes you can learn just as much by determining what the other person leaves out or avoids saying as you can by listening to what is actually being said. Pay attention to how it is being said, also. 

12. SHARE THE RESPONSIBILITY FOR COMMUNICATION: Only part of the responsibility for effective communication rest with the speaker. You as the listener, have an obligation to actively listen to what is being communicated and ask questions when you do not understand. 

If you make note of the above tips and put them into action, your are on your way to becoming an effective leader. Even if leadership is not in your future, it still goes a long way to use some of these to listen to our customers. After all. They ARE the reason we are here!

What do YOU think?

Using real life to change fiction

It never ceases to amaze me how a messed up situation in real life can change the pace of a fiction story one is composing.


Currently I am in the middle of the lives of Jack and Anastasia and they have now found that they have evil neighbors in their desert. Hrmm. Wonder where that came from? Well, I certainly love my neighbors. Even the evil ones that have no idea how being nice really works.  As a writer, it amazes me how things can take a turn in a story that you are writing and you don't even intend for it to go down that path.


What happens is this:


You are walking along, minding your own business. Listening to your footsteps as you travel down this storybook road ( your footsteps are sounding like your fingers hacking away a the keys-keep your pinkies up while typing!) and you see this little less travelled path along the side of the road. Oh, you note it alright but you keep walking. Only, your stride slows down as you think about that path. You think. You stew. You think and you stew. You think until you come to a stop and look around you. There is nothing but untouched field and warm sunshine all around you and you stand there.


Brooding.


That paths presence simply will not leave the back of your mind. At some point, as if hypnotized, you do an about face and you find yourself standing at the top of the path...wondering. Should you take it? Should you keep going? You know if you keep going in the direction you were, you will always wonder. You wonder this as you stand before said path and turn your face to the setting sun. This is the same direction you were heading in the first place. Hmm. The setting sun. Interesting. Maybe something is trying to give you a message. That path leads to an ending that your mind knows so well. The plan you had laid out for this story to travel. The path that you know how it is going to be. However.


However, you are at this new, unexpected thing. This crossroads and you have to take it. You ask for opinions of others and they all say...go for it! What makes it even more interesting is that you once wrote a small blurb when you were experiencing a writing prompt and you had requests to finish it. While you had no full story to go with that blurb, that one situation that led to this interruption of the field you are waking by and the path that so raptly has your attention now has a place in your story. That blurb and where this path leads go hand in hand and make perfect sense for the direction you know the story could go.


Do you take it? Life is about taking chances. While us writers are not ones to go out and do parkour or ride a skateboard off a ramp some 500 feet in the air, these are the chances we take. Is this the making of a great story? In my mind it may be.


It makes me wonder how many paths are along the stories that I read.  I now understand where "the Wind Through the Keyhole" by Stephen King came from. When I first discovered that story I was in pure bliss to find another book to the whole Gunslinger collection. When I read the intro, I thought it strange for the author to label it as Gunslinger 4.5.  However, it fit right in between books 4 and 5 of that story. Funny how paths are created and how they come into existence.


Have you ever come across a less beaten path? Did you take it? Where did it lead you?


What do YOU think?






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