Explore with your children. Let them get dirty.

I love a teachable moment with the kiddos. Especially about life lessons and doing things the way they were done without electricity.  I can assure you that, if the world were to go to shit, my children could plant and grow their own food. They could raise farm animals, purify and store their own water and rig up the house to fend off anything short of a nuclear holocaust.  They can shoot and throw and clean with the best of them. 

They can also do their math homework without a calculator and they certainly know how to read.  They also know that if there were no power, they can use their imaginations to play and make their own toys.  We have also discussed how to survive should there be no houses left either.  No, we are no survivalists and there are no "bug out bags" randomly stored throughout the house.  It is nothing like that. What this means is that we are teaching our children the basics of being self sufficient.  They can also make their own cooker out of wood and aluminum foil and other things. Yes, they know all about technology and can fix a computer with the best of them and they have their electronic gadgets and know how to operate a computer and a calculator. We do not prohibit those things, but if there were ever to come a time for survival. I know that our children can survive without assistance or help from a stranger. I know that they can grow up and figure out things on their own.

We let them get dirty and dig holes and let them color and paint with melted crayons.  That is what children do.  They argue and fall down.  That is what baths and band aids are made for.  They are allowed to fix their own disagreements with each other to learn social graces and human skills.

This is all something that many kids do not know.  I cannot tell you how it makes me cringe for a mother to break out the hand sanitizer every time her kid touches something off the ground.  They do not have to get up off the ground at the playground rolling a ball back and forth because it is "dirty."  I am here to tell you if you stop treating them like porcelain dolls, there would be a lot less asthma, allergies, and other things that people spend their whole lives with.  Did you know a vaccination is an injection of the disease it is seeking to prevent you from getting? If you take your children outside on a regular basis and let them get dirty from time to time, they will be a lot less sick in the long run.  They will be exposed to the stuff that gives people asthma and allergies at an early age when there are no issues and they will not become allergic to them simply for a lack of exposure.  It will also give them room to grow because they will run and play and simply be children. 

Each of my children went on an exploration day in the yard with me  when they were crawlers.  I found a nice day, took the baby outside and we explored the REAL world around us.  We lifted our faces and felt the warmth of the sun. We felt the bark on the trees and watched the ants crawl in the cracks.  We felt the grass with our hands and our feet. We felt the warmth of the sidewalk in the sun and the cool of the driveway in the shade.  We twirled a leaf between our grubby little fingers and blew a dandelion weed and watched the seeds. We pointed at squirrels and birds and bugs.  We felt the wind in our hair.  We felt the difference in the feel of the shiny leaves from the trees and the roughness of the rocks in the ground. We let dirt sift through our fingers and felt the running water out of the hose from the side of the house.  We didn't die.  We didn't get sick.  We went inside, washed our hands and went back to playing with our things.  However, the baby learned about the world and learned more than anyone will ever know.  Further, there was a special time only you can share with your child.  For me an mine, it was a day of discovery.  A couple of our children hated the way the grass felt on their feet and one other loved rubbing his feet in it. You learn something about your children.  How their curiosity works as well as discovering things on your own about how they perceive the world.  One of ours shied away from the bugs we were looking at.  This helped me figure out what would give him the willies-he seen a bug and they make him spaz out because he is afraid of bugs. 

I exposed them to the REAL world and I let them get dirty a little bit. That is what children do. It is in their very nature to be curious. They want to play and jump and run and explore.  While it is up to you to keep them safe and be their parent, let them play and jump and run and explore.  Further, explore with them. It is one of the best things you can do. 

What have you done with your child today?

Proud moments as a mother.

Not long after we moved to the beach, I had set a cheese board to smoulder on the stove.  Calvin was at work and I was sitting with the oldest son and youngest daughter assisting them with their homework at the dining room table.  It was dinner time. You know mw, Ms. Multi tasker (even at seven months preggo, I was pretty good at it.)  Well, the dining room table was off from the kitchen, sort of in the living room.  It also happened to be about five feet from the back door.
While cooking, I happened to turn the wrong burner on to boil a some water.  Ikept a small, wooden, cheeseboard on the back burner and THAT was the burner I turned on instead.  While we were not in the kitchen, it had a chance to fill our small kitchen up with a great deal of smoke. Then the AC kicked in and smoke just ROLLED out of the kitchen.  Everything else seemed to happen at the same time.  At the instant we noticed the smoke, the smoke detectors went off.  I immediately knew what I had done as I do that chit all the time. So I got up an took two steps toward the kitchen.  My mind was racing and focused on getting that cheeseboard off there and into the sink before it burst into flames. At the same time, I also thought of the kids. I turned around, and CJ was still sitting at the table...totally not knowing what was going on. I am certain he knew exactly what I did.  There was not a fire....YET.  I turn to look for Alyssa and all I see is the back door swinging.
I lean just a little bit to my left and see a tiny face of a five year old, about twenty feet outside the back door trying to get a glimpse of what was going to happen next.  I will take the time to tell you I could not have been more proud of our baby girl in that moment. I immediately took care of the cheeseboard, no fire, just a lot of smoke. Whew!  Then retrieved our daughter and covered her face in smooches and filled her ears with praise.
She had done the right thing.  In hindsight, it was cute and funny because she got the Hell out of Dodge Jack!

Now, lets move forward ten years:

My dear readers know that I am a WAH professional and I work from home.  The other night, I was working and a thunderstorm came through.  Just after I shut down my computer and systems, there was a terribly bright lightening strike as well as horrible thunder.  I heard my kids in the next room scrounging around.

When I finally got everything settled, I walk into the hallway to a pitch black house. What happened next would have been a good scream scene for a horror movie (provided that I screamed, of course.)
The darkness began to speak to me in children's voices. O.o....I held up my phone as I was not near a light switch and seen that my children were all sitting on the couch, in the living room, in the dark.  Well, well, well.  I found out later that Alyssa corralled the children to the couch and turned all the lights off to be safe during the storm.  Another proud moment, I must say.  However, when the ten year old got up to use the bathroom, (I had joined them in the darkness, of course, it was quiet and I was NOT going to pass that up) he turned the light on so he could see.  Here comes Alyssa "All that electricity!!!!"  Hahaha.  Yes, she was being overly cautious, but she was being safe all in the same breath.  Yes, Momma is proud!  Daddy taught her that and she absorbed the safety knowledge well.

I am confident, as a parent that she will be safe and have an emergency plan when it comes to nature bringing forth her rage.  I can only hope that it will spill over into her interactions with people when she goes off to college or begins to have a more colorful, (yikes, and even less structured) social life and as an adult.  We parents spend our entire lives teaching our children to be safe and to be their own person and can only hope that the values we establish for them to mirror are the good ones and that they apply them to their own lives and go on to be productive adults who get to live long, healthy, and happy lives.

This is the direction I believe our daughter is heading in and I could not be more proud.  What proud moments have you had (like these) with your children?

Have you ever had a moment that was potentially catastrophic and hilarious all in the same moment?

Daddy truly knew.

I just finished a book (for my own enjoyment not for an assignment) that I had started to read a very long time ago. My favortie part about reading a book is the feeling you get when you read that last sentence on that last page. It is a gratifying feeling that only readers know. This time, I had quiet to enjoy that feeling and noted it gave me chills. I love it. I love to read. It is a pleasure that causes no disease, cancer, and can take you away from any hell you are in and temporarily place you somewhere else. Further, upon returning from that else, your mind is, if only for a brief moment, clearer and refreshed.
Dad knew what that was like. In his final years, I often wondered why he would go through a stack of books in the blink of an eye. The man read so much that he was on what I called the library honor circuit. You see, there were about four libraries within driving distance of where he and my mother live. Every now and then I would ask him what he was reading and it was always something new. Just about every other time I inquired, he would inform me that he was on the honor books of the next library because the one he had been going to, had nothing more to offer for the moment. He had read every single damn honor book they had. I know for a fact that some of those honor shelves would take up more of two stacks! The closer to the end of his life story he got, the faster he went through those books. 

Now I understand why.

He could hardly breathe and the oxygen was not helping. The threat of the VA to take it away to convince him he did not need it did not help matters any. When dad came for his final visit to our new home, he predicted his own fate....almost to the day. But still he read. He read until he could not do it anymore. Chasing that feeling of accomplishment and of enlightenment only true readers know. Next to his deathbed he had a plastic grocery bag filled with his last round of honor books from the library. One of them "The Old Silent" had his mark in it and his glasses on top. I still have that bag of books. I still have the glasses, "The Old Silent," and that mark is still there.

While I find it hard to read something other than a textbook and my favorite author, Stephen King, I now intend to finish that book for him. I started it right after his passing and I find it quite interesting, but life got in the way. Now that I have finished my book, I will pick this one up. With dad reading over my shoulder.

Why do I say he will be reading over my shoulder? Stephen King calls his die hard fans "constant reader." That is my Dad. He needs to finish that book. Those glasses have since broken, however, I still have mine. It will be through my eyes that "The Old Silent" will provide that enlightenment not only for me but for Daddy who stands constant watch over me, my family, and, yes my Mother.
I love you Daddy. Even the things that come to light from your wisdom now make me proud to be the glimmer that was in your eyes for so long. Yes, he knows. I know too.