Venting. Sorry no photos here

Just a little vent here. Gotta do that sometimes. I am just tired of all the stupid garbage going on in my life. The one good thing coming from it is that it has made the bond between YKW and I closer. I appreciate that but at such a cost. I am tired of walking on eggshells for kids, family, and just people in general as well. It makes me tired and lord knows that I have enough to be tired about. Pretentious is not what I choose to be and I hate being like that but it does keep the peace for a dime or two. Families should get along better nowadays but people are so territorial and defensive that it makes it nearly impossible. I used to be jealous of other families who always had get togethers and got along so well prima facie.

It must be at some great cost that they were able to accomplish something like that. I grew up in a family that never did any of those things unless someone died. Even then, it was only when grandma died and that was short lived. I can assure you of that. The best thing for all of us to do is to get along a distance. Over the past few months, I have been reminded of that over and over again. Never go forward with good ideas anymore, Michele. Your thought processes are fatally flawed.

Another good note, my kids and I have gotten closer to a degree as a result of the summer coming in. We do things. Mainly because we have to but they are fun. Too bad that YKW cannot join us. He probably wouldn't go to every single thing we do because it is just too damn hot but I don't blame him for that. In it all, I do miss him dearly tho.

It was kind of like it was when we first moved here. (Virginia too!) We never see each other. it will be great when the house is done. That thought process has been years in the making and it is pretty much set in stone. I like looking forward to that. Until then, I have to be pretentious. Yippee. Hipocritical even. I despise that because hippos make my teeth hurt. Ok, feeling a little better. It will get better soon. It always does!

Angry

Very strong word. But that doesn't even begin to cover it. Sometimes that word just gets the best of me and it becomes something that it is not. I am tired of harboring 'Angry' in my heart. It resides right next to resentment and ill will and those are three things that should not be a part of any of me. Why should those things be a part of any human being is beyond me. Oh sure, I can reflect on what my philosophy courses have taught me. You know, Evil is necessary for happiness to be about. Or something like that. Sometimes I think: WHATEVER!

Angry also brings along his friends that make things even worse. Some of them are: headache, chest pains, sickness, stress, and hurt. Those are also things that are not good for anyone or for the soul for that matter. But you know, when Angry has gotten into your heart, it is nearly impossible to see that it is more than a black feeling. It is more than something bad. It is something that so needs help and it gets eradicated or held back because of all the darkness that surrounds it. It is a pretty sad situation, really.

Of course, because Angry has come to visit me, nobody cares and everyone around me thinks that I have mental issues and that I simply need a hug or Jesus, whichever you prefer. NOT. I am simply tired of spoon feeding Angry and making it a part of me. But my surroundings simply will not let it go away that easily. They won't or can't. So, I guess that Angry will remain a part of me and I will simply have to go on. Thanks. For nothing.

We went to the apartment complex that was down the road from the school where they had blocked the road off. The view from there was phenomenal. We watched as a massive smoke cloud raced east with the wind up above the 100 apartment buildings that were three stories high. Very sobering if you think about it because the smoke cloud made those buildings look insignificant. That wasn't good enough. We decided to try our luck and race down Highway 31 to see if we could get a better view; a closer view of the carnage that was taking over our county.

We were "lucky" enough to get to that spot before they shut the highway down. Yes, authorities were within minutes of shutting down a major back roads highway because of a catastrophe. What we witnessed was unreal.

We arrived about a half mile in front of the head of the fire. It was without a doubt coming to Highway 31 soon. There were eight lanes of blacktop and a grassy median between the fields behind us and the forest that would soon be engulfed in flames. Like many others, we were taking pictures of the smoke cloud. From this vantage point, we could see near the base of the cloud where the flames dance within turning it from dismal gray to crimson and back again. The smoke rolled and got closer. We began to see flames through the trees first here or there and then without notice, the tree line just behind the frontage road melted away to angry orange and tangerine flames and we could feel the heat on our face. I could hear my son telling me that we had to go with an urgency I had never heard from him before. But his little voice seemed so far away. It was unreal and I was living in a slow motion live play of a disaster that I could not yet grasp.

As my face warmed in the heat of the oncoming fire, I looked to the sky to see a bright dot through the clouds. The smoke had blocked out the sun and left only a memory of where it was. My eyes then refocused and for a moment I thought it was raining but it was different somehow. Yes, it was not rain, it was ashes pouring down on us as we were downwind from the firestorm. I was awestruck. I was brought back to my senses by my daughter calling to me from the back of the van. "Mommy! I want to get out and tell Daddy something!" "No," was my reply "you cannot get out of the van." She insisted as she pointed to the fields behind us. I didn't pay those fields much attention when we arrived because the people there had sprinklers on trying to saturate the land and make it unattractive to the fire. But I was shocked to see that the fire had began to jump the Highway and ignite the fields behind us. Immediately, I halfway climbed out my window and sat on the door and diverted my husband's attention to the fields. He apparently was just as surprised as me when I watched him turn to catch the spread on our camcorder.

I hear shouts from across the median and see officials waving onlookers to go on to the next exit. They were closing the Highway. The fire has arrived. I called to my husband and he runs to the van. As I am getting in, I see ground level smoke rolling casually up the frontage road as if to attack a vulnerable spot on the highway. I imagine the flames and smoke working in concert and planning its attacks. 'Get their flanks! Kill them all!'

We were feet from the next exit which was Water tower road. It was already filled with stopped cars and people standing in the road. There was only feet of the road open as the authorities had already shut down the western end of the road. When we got off the exit, we had to cross the bridge and come back. When we slowly rolled to the apex of the bridge I looked out the passenger side of the van to see that the smoke and flames had already consumed the spot where we just were. We were as close to Hell as I had ever wanted to be and it became a stark reality for me because all I kept thinking was that WE WERE JUST SITTING THERE GAWKING LIKE SOME TOURIST!!!!

We hit Highway 22 and went home. Later the next day, we find out that the fire covered 23 miles and at one point was four miles wide. Nearly 70 homes were destroyed, another 100 damaged and at one count, 2,500 evacuated. The governor had declared a state of emergency for Horry County. Schools were closed and events cancelled as businesses scrambled to take in food, water, and people. Pictures raged across the Internet, local television and newspapers. Stories of lost pets and people who had lost everything but their lives. Elsewhere in the county, my family included, phones were ringing off the hook and email in-boxes were filled and social networking sites flooded with postings as the rest of the country began to have their eye turned to Myrtle Beach. Yes, dear family far far away, we were about 10 miles from that fire and we are just fine. There is ash falling from the sky and we can still see smoke from that fire but we were saved.

As we left from under the smoke cover and began the journey home, my son was in the back seat singing the sunny song. Yes, I believe he was relieved to be leaving from there. It was the most dramatic experience for me in a long time. I feel for the people who had lost everything but, I am grateful for still having my home and a place to go to. Thanks for all the well wishes and keep Horry County in your hearts as it will soon begin the process of rebuilding after the destruction locally called the 31 Fire.

www.wefailed.dam

Two Sundays ago was my last day at work before I took my "vacation." The reason for the parenthesis is that it is not a vacation but it is not really a break in service either. My company is going through some major changes. Hell, the whole country is going through the same changes and it begins with their pockets. All during this year alone, I have watched business that have thrived in the same place for years close their doors. Some very abruptly. As I drive around, I imagine America becoming a ghost town. Yea, imagine something like that the next time you see your power company with a sign on the door saying "Closed, thanks for your business, you must now mail in your payment or go to http://www.wefailed.dam/. That sucks to see that.

I have fought tooth and nail to keep what you can call a job just so that I do not have to stand in the unemployment line and become a statistic like so many of my fellow Americans and coworkers. It makes me feel down to see my coworkers go away one at a time, some happy while others are anxoius about what their future holds. Still others are still arriving at the time clock every day until that fateful May 4, 2009. That is the day that the WARN Act will let nearly 60 or more of my co workers go. Many of whom are long time employees of a quarter of a century or more. I could not help but thinking as I left for the last Sunday that I would be working in a while, that things would be fundamentally different upon my return to work in May. In itself, the newspaper office will be a ghost town.

Just the other day, I checked my email from work so that I can stay up to date on any other major changes going on and they said goodbye to another forty sum people. Fundamentally, I will be returning to a ghost town. Everyone will be overworked and stressed. Big fun there. But on the bright side, I do have a job to go to. A lot of these people are going to be looking for months with nothing to show for it. Resume after resume sent off, application after application filled out to sit and watch the phone and pick it up every now and then to see if it is still working. Oh, it works, just nobody is calling. Very sad.

I was sitting in a circus tent tonight listening to a conversation going on behind me. This woman was talking about her ex-husband the millionaire and how she now has to work 2-3 jobs just to get by. What a pity. I am sorry she spent most of her time at home married to him worrying about what color her toenails were going to be and now she has an outdated college degree and has to work sixty hours a week at $8.50 an hour just to make ends meet! tsk. tsk. I say. She should live within her means and it would not be like that. Hurumph! The way I look at it, this economic downturn is only going to really hurt the rich people. All because they now have to live like us more simple folk and learn to make it from check to check. OOps! No more $10 lattes from starbucks or some fru fru shop!

As I sip my imported coffee from Canada: Yes dahlin!!!! Tim Hortons for me! My import only cost me what I do for a living and will happily return to in three weeks! A nicety on the telephone! Customers are great! Dont forget to read the Sun News!!!!!

And don't forget national Newspaper day 04-20!!!

I am actually looking at an extended vacation thanks to our lovely government and the wonderful WARN Act. Kudos to Barbara for making that possible! =0). I am planning to do a thorough overhaul of my house! I want to put my hands on every thing in every room and decide wether or not we should keep it or get rid of it. This is my opportunity to shed the ways of the Pack Rat and make for a new life of useful stuff that is neither broken or waiting to be fixed. I am so looking forward to working my house over while I am relaxing on my staycation in my own home.

Before I am allowed to do that however, I get the privledge of spending Spring Break with my children. What a joy this is going to be! While I have not made plans, I do wish that I am able to take them somewhere to play every day. A day at the park, at the beach, you know, things like that. It would be nice to let them have full days of fresh air and not be in the house. Remember days like that? If I were a stay at home mom and money were not an issue if I were, that would definitely be the way to go. How much easier to keep the house clean that would be!

Another thing that I would like to accomplish is to get some long deserved reading for pleasure done. I have not been able to read anything just because at length for years. What a joy that would be too. Kind of like fishing for my husband, it would be great to curl up with a book and a cup of coffee and a blanket and read until I go crosseyed! Even writing in my book would qualify for this category!

Oh, and I also would like to lose some weight. I want to watch the sun rise at the beach one day and it would be nice if I could run the beach every day while I am on vacation. While it is not safe to do that alone anymore, I can still dream about that. I do want to lose weight while I am out, I have almost put that wish to the back burner on my minds stove. Yea it seems to be only a wish because I cannot bring myself to eat right one hundred percent of the time. Caffine is too much a part of me and I love my pizza. I am addicted to that and it is only a dream that I have been chasing for some time now.

We will see what the next month will bring. I have so many hopes and aspirations and I can only hope that they are accomplished before I have to return to work.

What are they thinking?! Canadians are NOT Irish!

Well, this one would not load right side up! Tilt your head a little to the right, a little more, a little more, yea. Thats it. You are looking at it right now. This is the leprecaun (sp?) water running into the ground.

"Did you see that s&%^?!?! It was green! Creepy stuff, let me tell ya!"

What a thing of beauty. and Green to top it off! Lovely downtown ____________ area.

Recently, someone drove into the rather large fountain in the "heart" of downtown (yet again!) and destroyed it. It is a beautiful fountain and very different in that it overflows out of the big basin and the water recycles from the drains in the ground around it. The city always decorates it at Christmas time and what not. The repairs have been made and they announced that it would be up and running on St. Patricks day. It was complete with GREEN water! Not just green but G R E E N water! I forgot that they were doing that and on this lovely day, I had my children in the car and we rode by it. Of course they noticed it instantly. Also because I am sometimes a cool mom (or try to be) we stopped and took a peek. We even got Shoobie-like and took a couple of pics like we have never seen such a thing before.

I beleive that the City Council votes to do some retarded stuff sometimes but this just takes the malt out of my beverage. Granted I know that it did not cost an arm and three toes to color that water but what are our tax dollars hard at work on here? I wonder how many meetings the council had to have to simply agree to have that water green. It is a large fountain and it is not exactly a small amount of water. That was a deep green too. How much coloring did it really take? It could not have been too much or too toxic because as we were leaving, a small bird came and began to bathe himself! I looked up at the sky and told the man upstairs that I was glad that was a brown bird. I could only imagine if that bird was red, yellow or even white! What a site that would have been.

As we were walking away, I even took a photo of myself with one of those bewildered looks so that I could have a laugh at myself later.

On another note, while we were there taking pictures and looking like a bunch of Shoobies (FYI: Shoobie is a newly arrived local resident or a visitor to our lovely resort area here at the beach. Reference the Rocket Power cartoon for a complete education on what it is to be Shoobie-like.) some man on a bike offered to take a picture of the lot of us. I guess he fully believed I was a dumb out of towner. There was no way he was going to get his mitts on my camera and run off with it. Why then I would have to discontinue my plog and my loyal readers would be so down with grief that I would have to start a counseling group! Let me tell you, counseling and advise is not my forte nor will it ever be any specialty of mine. I am a pro at only a few things and they are screechin, free stuff, and talking on the phone. I got no time for anything else on my agenda. But I digress. So here is the green water and I hope you all had a St. Patty's day to remember. I know the Canadians sure did! It was a nice day and they had the warmth they came here for! Not pots of gold but warm golden sunshine is just as good when you know your permenant home is sitting at twenty below!!!!

I know I am loved. All it takes is a BIG boo boo!

Yesterday was a beautiful pre-spring day. After dropping the dadmeister off at work, I decided that me and the kids (and the dog) were going to play outside in the back yard. My boys were riding their pedal/push cars around, the dog was playing fetch with the baby and my daughter and I were playing volley ball. In all, it was the perfect afternoon (with the exception of missing my hunnie!)

I try to play hard because that is the only way to make the fat go away. Yes, I have a serious problem with the way I look but that is another story for another day. When my daughter served the ball, it went way high and to the right. To the right of me, the grass gently slopes up to the edge of the driveway. My leg chose to step on that the wrong way. Essentially, my knee attempted to bend the other way and my knee said "Not today!" and the most awful pain shot up from behind my kneecap. Now I am normally a tough cookie, but I instantly went down and was rolling around in the grass holding my leg. " Oh OW! Oh OW!" was all I could muster loudly. Now here is where my epiphany occured

As I am laying there rolling around, you know I still have my super power mother sense on and I am mentally noting that all of my children are still in the yard. I also sense them coming nearer. I also sense the dog. I know she wont go anywhere but I feel her presence too! Then she pounces on my side and begins frantically licking my face as if to say: " Are you OK? I saw that! It will be ok! I love you! KISS KISS..." Within seconds, I attempt to roll over, still writhing in pain, and my two year old jumps on my chest kissing my face too. "Ow! Ow!" he says and is giggling. So I continue to roll to my right trying to rid my face of dog licks and baby drool and all of a sudden, my five year old is shaking my left side and screaming "Mommy! Mommy! Are you OK! Where is your boo boo! I wanna kiss it! Get up! You will get all dirty! Are you OK?!!!!" Now I am not done here. My right leg is the one hurt and very sharply I might add. My left leg is extended trying to help me maneuver all this chaos on top of me. Well, not chaos, unadulterated concern and LOVE! My daughter comes up and begins slapping my left leg " Mom! Mom! Hey! I saw that! What happened!?..." Now all of this is still going on and I realize that I am so loved and that love reverberated through my heart and shone so brightly that the pain subsided and I sat up. My knee was still throbbing but I felt special and oh so loved. I told them what happened and how it felt, I got a kiss for my boo boo and my boys (2 and 5) tried to help me to my feet and were brushing the grass off my clothes.

I had a flashback of how wonderful it was when I was a kid when one of my parents would help me up after I fell down and made things all better. Only, this was going the other way! I fuss so much and expect soo much out of my kids and I often feel that they resent me. But I was and have been so wrong for soo long. I adore each and everyone of my children and I now know without a doubt they feel the same about me! It feels good to be loved!!!!!!! =0)

City Council, still sucks, but this rally was peaceful.

http://www.thesunnews.com/724/gallery/802254.html#http://media.myrtlebeachonline.com/smedia/2009/02/28/19/91-helmet01jbm.standalone.prod_affiliate.78.JPG

Click on the link above to view photos from the Myrtle Beach Helmet Freedom Ride. These and more galleries about the swirling pit of irony that is Myrtle Beach at www.thesunnews.com.

I have always wondered what it would be like to be alive in a turbulent time. While this turbulent time is quarantined to Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, it is only a matter of time before it explodes into something extremely ugly. The waves of change have hit America and they have wiped out everything that Myrtle Beach was or signified. Now it is becoming like any other playground for the rich. A wide and vast wasteland that will crumble under the very cornerstones that the Rich have laid over the past four years. The trouble has arrived and it is not labeled black, hispanic, poor, or uneducated. It is labaled for the very people who have pursued the ones that they fear the most. The ones who know how to survive will win and those with the most toys will die with just that: misery and the most toys. No love there.

Yesterday, there was an event that I am sorry that I missed. It was the Helmet Freedom Ride through Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. Effective yesterday, everyone who rides motorcycles within the city limits of Myrtle Beach MUST wear a helmet even though the state law is that those over the age of majority may choose to go without. While I am aware that city law will trump state law if it is more restrictive, I find this one of those nit picky things that should never have been considered in the first place. Yes, I am aware that the city no longer wants the rallies to come. But, they are a foundation of any events that happen in May. Also, the people who are making these nit picky decisions are the ones who have the money and do not think about the very foundations of this city. The bike rallies have been around for many years and I honestly do not believe the new ordinaces found at www.cityofmyrtlebeach.com were aggregately aimed at the collective celebrations referred to as the bike rallies. I believe they were aimed more specifically at the Atlantic Beach Bike Festival. While this does not originate in Myrtle Beach, it has become a huge event and it overflows into Myrtle Beach. Unfortunately, the ABF is generally different in its racial makeup than the Harley Davidson Bike Rally, it would be unfair to apply ordinaces to one rally over another. This is why this has become the creature it has.

Many of the so-called locals despise the month of May. These are the ones who are well to do and can hold thier own during the terrible off season that befalls this area each year. For those of us who happen to live paycheck to paycheck and harshly depend on the business that anything brings during the "on-season," this is part of our income that we need to survive. For my family, it is only a minor headache and we dont mind it each year. It is not like we have to deal with it longer than a month. So why try to do things to ensure that it will die out like all the great things have? Because the rich have made their money off of it and are ready to move on to their next victims.

Rich people and their snotty ways. Gosh forbid I ever become rich. I will keep reminders all about me about where I came from. It is rediculous to put on airs and believe that everyone can live like that. While that would be nice, it is an impossibility. Why be so vitriolick all your life and assume that you are better than everyone when everyone in this country was born equally. Butt naked and possessing nothing but your own soul. Souls are not what these rich people have. They have sold them to dance a dance that they will definitely wish they would not have to when Karma catches up to them.

From afar, I see one of my favorite newspapers fly away in the wind.....(tears and ANGER!)

Far removed from my part of the world is the home to one of the best newspapers in the country. Another thing that made it unique was that it is printed magazine style. At least until today. Today, I received word that the beloved Rocky Mountain News of Colorado will have printed its last issue and close its doors for eternity. This comes days away from its 150th anniversary. Please read the eulogy below that came from its front page. Very touching. Coming from a newspaper that is struggling as well, it is sad to see such a solid soldier laid to rest when it could have been some other nobody paper. (Well, not all newspapers are nobody papers but Scripps could have chosen another paper besides RMN!!!!

"...with great sadness that we say goodbye to you today. Our time chronicling the life of Denver and Colorado, the nation and the world, is over. Thousands of men and women have worked at this newspaper since William Byers produced its first edition on the banks of Cherry Creek on April 23, 1859. We speak, we believe, for all of them, when we say that it has been an honor to serve you. To have reached this day, the final edition of the Rocky Mountain News, just 55 days shy of its 150th birthday is painful. We will scatter. And all that will be left are the stories we have told, captured on microfilm or in digital archives, devices unimaginable in those first days. But what was present in the paper then and has remained to this day is a belief in this community and the people who make it what it has become and what it will be. We part in sorrow because we know so much lies ahead that will be worth telling, and we will not be there to do so. We have celebrated life in Colorado, praising its ways, but we have warned, too, against steps we thought were mistaken. We have always been a part of this special place, striving to reflect it accurately and with compassion. We hope Coloradans will remember this newspaper fondly from generation to generation, a reminder of Denver’s history – the ambitions, foibles and virtues of its settlers and those who followed. We are confident that you will build on their dreams and find new ways to tell your story. Farewell – and thank you for so many memorable years together."
Subscribe to the Rocky Mountain News

My new hobby.

Back in January, I decided I was going to try something new. I had found out last year about this free program at the local recreation center. It was free so, what did I have to lose? Some poundage of course!!!! Yes, you heard me all of you new year's resolution defecters! It is called choose to lose and I chose it because it meant free use of the recreation center. Exercise classes, the pool, cardio machines and the weight room. Oh joy! It actually was a lot less of a chore than I thought it would be. I have always been OCD about following through with stuff and so far, I have toughed it out. We are past the halfway point with this thing but I am dismayed at my progress. I have always been a major fan of changing things a little at a time and making those changes a habit. That is the only way to make things stick. Once they become a habit, then you change things a little more. The older you get, the harder it is to change stuff. So, I bite the bullet and I do that. Well, I am guilty about not changing my desctructive junk food addiction but I HAVE cut it down from 3 cups of coffee a day to one and a half and I have reduced my soda intake. I try more for real juice and milk and that wonderful water. I am getting better but that will take some time. Caffine has a hold on me that is more like a bear trap on the ankle of a raccoon! However, I have done the exercize three times a week. One of those times includes a visit to the weight room. I am constantly reminded at the weigh ins that weight training is great at improving balance. We all know I need more of that! It also makes me feel better about how I look.

I have major self esteem issues and the putting on the pounds was not fashionably sensible for a girl like me. Then I discovered what has become like an old friend: the treadmill. It is not a class where someone is barking orders at me for an hour and I have no control. I dont have to worry about being grossed out about slimy showers and gooey hairballs in the locker rooms after a swim. I also dont have to worry about sweaty germs on all of the machines and I can just...go. I can read a book when I am not over 3.2 miles per hour and I can control how long and how fast I go. Also, it makes me feel good. I sweat out all the impurities and it is a great stress reliever. AND, to YKW's delight, it has made me more....you know.

I thought for quite a few years that I would never see my legs back to the way I had always been so proud and my butt is beginning to rise off the floor. I like the weight room too cuz it is making me feel better about my upper body as well.

The people at the recreation center that I have my weigh ins at have given me the name "The Treadmill Lady." I love it. I will most definitely live up to that as my hunny got me one for Return Day! (Yes, it is against our religion to celebrate Valentines day, so we celebreate Return Day--The day the tax returns come back!!!!! Hehehehehehe.) I was absolutely thrilled! I am so on it!

As far as the poundage goes, due to the fact that I am a junkaholic, I am sad to say that in week 7, I am only at 3.25 pounds lost. Not to worry! My hunny has contributed to the cause and I will soon be reaching my next goal of a total of 6 pounds! All without leaving my home!!!! My ultimate goal will be at least 15 pounds if not more by the end of the 12 weeks. I dont want to push it ya know. Below is a picture of my new hobby! See, I am even getting some serious reading time in. Thank you Calvin, you are the BEST!!!!

Ms. Wrenegade

Here is a little aside. I have a coworker that I absolutely love chatting with. She is an amazing woman and full of with and charm. She dresses like a diva but can get down like any tomboy I know. She is the wife of a Wrenegade! (Yes, that is how it is spelled! I am not typoing on this one!) At any rate. I feel so sad that she has been slighted so much over the past few months and I believe that something great will come out of it all in the long run. She is a wonderful mother, wife, grandmother and puppy owner! She has class and great taste.

I am not fluffing her up as she can do that pretty well on her own. It just seems to me that above it all, I wonder if anyone ever asks how is SHE doing? I mean it BW, are you REALLY ok? You know, if you put that cigarette down for 20 minutes, you may come up with some more wit so we can all get a little thinner from laughing at your funnies. I love your style of writing (gee, is that an influence from your YKW???) and I wait with baited breath for the next one.

I can only hope that we keep in touch after all this WARN Act stuff and crap going on. I would hate to lose you as not only a co worker but a friend. While I may not know Heff personally, I would be happy to be on your friends list any day! YOU GO GURL! You will find your niche again. And when you do, everyone better watch out! Even the meanies who stepped on you along the way.
Love ya!

Here it is, my thoughts on Hard Rock Park

Last year, we had this wonderful idea tha was to be planted in our midst. It was supposed to generate more business for the area and it was the first of its kind. It was promoted around the world and fluffed up to be the greatest thing to hit this country since six flags. It was gonna be great!

Less than a year from its initial opening, a couple of the major investors backed out leaving it crippled and heading in a quickening southern spiral. OUCH! Lets review why, shall we? The first mistake was all the fluff. The park was promoted to be something that it obviously was not. Ok, it is a great place for concerts but that one fact was pushed under the rug. What an idiot thing to do with that avenue! Along the same vein, parking cost $20.00, to get into the park cost $48.00, then you had to pay for absolutely every thing when you got inside. What a rip that was! No wonder people did not want to go! They were broke before they got in there! Then, once you got in, there was nothing to do but shop and if you were lucky to come on a concert day, that was included in your admission price but sheesh! Why do that when you can wait another day and go to the House of Blues and see the same concert for a third of that price!

Add to the that the fact that these investors (who must be smart, they have all that money!) decided to drop a large mostly puffed up theme park in the middle of one of the biggest down turns in the American economy since the Great Depression of the 1930's and then wonder why they are losing on their investment. Now, my background in business is only about ten years but from a small business stand point, one of the factors that you look at when looking to open any type of business is that of the local economy. I do have to cut these investors some slack as they are not of this country but they should have half a brain about them! Sheesh! Another thing is that Hard Rock international should have said something to someone as well. They do their business, it seems, the right way. They are a avery successful group.

Now, the only smart thing that these foreigners did was to back out before it fell on its face. When they did, the park crashed and crashed hard. The park had all intentions to reopen for the 2009 season but was unable to recover from that devastating blow. They tried to sell the park to no avail because the asking price was too high.

Now we have a buyer and things are supposed to be looking up. But guess what? Part of the group that opened this thing is in this new group of buyers. Hello? Do we see another disaster looming? Lets hope that our "new" owners have learned their lessons and will be more cautious with their willy nilly spending and take a closer look at the whole picture. It would be a big break for the local economy if they did it right and kept those jobs going for the locals like they say they are going to. I believe that everyone that lives in our county and local areas will still approach this thing with caution. It has been a thorn in our sides for a while now. I am just grateful that they are attempting to save face with the locals because this whole fiasco has hurt Myrtle Beach in a big way on top of what the City Council has already done to hurt the common man.

All eyes are on Myrtle Beach and Hard Rock Park.....For now, that is all I have to say about that.

Because your heart can hear a true Harley, and my heart hears the H.Davidson legacy crying...

Ok, I must speak up and put my half a cent worth out there. Everyone in this area seems to know what is the best when it comes to Myrtle Beach and the future of the bike rallies. It seems inevitable that they are going to continue to some degree in the near future. This may reign especially true if they reopen Hard Rock Park (which happens to be a topic for another day. I have a lot to say about that.) At any rate, I have always had rituals with my kids during bike week. Especially that of the Harley rallies. I am a big fan of a Harley Davidson Motorcycle and that will never change. Honda often tries to imitate but they will never even come close. My daughter once asked how can you tell the difference. So, I took her out to show her. When we came up to a stoplight there was a honda trying to mack and I told her to close her eyes and listen and feel with her heart. She put her hand up to her chest and when the Honda took off at the green of the light, she opened here eyes unimpressed. However, when we came to a light where there was a REAL Harley, I asked her to do the same. She did and after that lovely machine floated away up the street, she opened here eyes in awe. "Mommy! I felt it in my heart!" That was one of those wonderful moments that mothers have from time to time. Yes dear, you can hear a Harley with your heart!

One thing that I will miss and I am sure my kids will miss it too is when we go to McDonalds to get breakfast during (both) bike weeks and count the motorcycles that go up Kings Highway. We have a good time doing that. We talk, laugh and ooh and ahh over the new styles of bikes and cars going up and down the highway. It is something that I look forward to every year. BUT, thanks to "the snotty white folks" of Myrtle Beach City Council, they are trying to push those touching moments into the trash with everything else that they believe is not good for the beach.

What they fail to realize is that they are hurting those that live here the most. This area was built on the blood sweat and tears of the common man, more famously known as the lower middle class or the "poor" people. We poor people depend on the business that occurs during the 91 days of summer as well as the few events that occure right before and after that summer. We depend on that because most of the heavy business pays our bills and puts food on our tables. Not many of us have the know how or are able to put money away for the winter month as we all live check to check and we tighten our belts severely during the winter months. Sometimes more than is comfortable.

It seems to me that they are trying to make this place something that it is not. They are also trying to do it way to quickly. The rest of the world is not aware of what is going on in this little podunk resort area and when they come, they are coming for what they know and if it is not there, you have provided nothing to take its place. Take the Pavillion for instance. Oh yea, you have taken it down to the ground and put some remnants of it over at Broadway, woo hoo for you. I went to the "Nostalgia Park" the other day and seen the signs like it is a museum and that of which Myrtle Beach is so proud. Who cares about that now, look at how many memories were destroyed with that becoming a field of grass and how many people were put out of business there. It is not the same that it was. You tried to replace it with Hard Rock Park and you will definitely get all my hot air on that one but not right now. That was a bust also. So here we are, a butt ton of motels and restaurants and 4 malls. Whoopdedoo, Myrtle Beach, Whoopdeedo.

Then you try to jack up the cost of everything to where it takes both income earners of each household to make nearly fourteen dollars an hour to survive (barely) and you provide no jobs to compensate for that. While I still have my job, I am very grateful to have had one that was actually busy for the winter month. To be honest, I did not even know that this kind of job existed. I thank the unseen beings daily that I do have to get up and go to work in the morning. At least while it still lasts. Unfortunately, because of things beyond my control, my days may be numbered. That is not fair either. The common, poor WOMAN loses out again. So much for getting ahead, huh? The following picture conveys my sentiments exactly:

This particular business closed its doors in 2008 due to the fact that Myrtle Beach had formally announced no Bike Rallies for the 2009 season. They had been there for years and paid all their bills during the 2 Harley rallies each year. With there being no rallies, there would be no business. So they assumed that they cut their losses and walked away. Now, all of a sudden, there is supposed to be some sort of compromise and maybe a rally is going to happen after all?!?!?! What kind of crap is that? Wishy washy rich people who are seeing that they may have made a mistake after all when they closed their ears to what the people really wanted. See how a few whiny babies ruin it for everyone?

The foundation of the American Dream crumbles...

Sorry to deviate from the purpose of my plog (yes, plog) but I just had to spit this out at ya.


Ok, I cannot stand to keep it to myself any longer. When my heart was still in it, one of the reasons I loved restaurant work was because people were always going to eat and that was an industry that would undergo little change. I also believed that I was in the right industry for a career until I got laid off for the first time in my life. I took that pretty hard and looked deep into my heart about what I wanted to do for a living and decided that I did not love the service industry anymore and with a little nudge from the Wiz, I took a different path.

I took a path into the corporate world that I feared soo much. No, actually, I came by it on accident. I wanted to be in a lawyers office but while going to school, it was nearly impossible as all lawyers want you to work full time and part time legal assistant work is nearly unheard of. So after a couple of internships, I came to work for a company doing customer service. I choose to take this job because there was no selling and no commission. I tried that once. YES, once, and it was not my forte. So here I go, talking on the phone for a living.

I got sucked into it and I actually love doing this. I don't have to look at these people, (for the most part) and I can talk them to death to get them to see my point of view. That is a challenge that I readily accept more often to the dismay of my coworkers. It is a great accomplishment when I keep them from cancelling though. So, I accept!

Then the corporate monster begins to growl and snarl. While I knew I am classified as temporary part time, I am still there and I am watching as people all around me are laid off and let go. People who have been there for years and years and whole departments gone.....in the blink of an eye.

More recently, it was announced that our printing and packaging was going to be outsourced to another company. I love walking through the press room because the machines are so big and I wonder what they sound like when they are running. Everyone tells me they are a great site when they are and that I should come see if I ever get a chance. Sadly, I do not think I will. This affects a lot of people in our building. On top of this department, I read emails almost weekly about this one and that one who no longer work for my company. I feel sad for them because those people now have to go out into a world where finding a job is like finding the perfect diamond in an abandoned mine. You are very lucky if you can find something. Even minimum wage jobs are becoming a rarity.

I am thankful that I do have a job and plan to hold on to it until the very end. What the future holds is not bright. I had a family member ask me the other day what would I do. I said the only truth that was apparent to me at the time. "Well, we will just have to work more hours and try to get by." I believe that is what everyone is doing.

I always wondered what the people of the great depression were thinking during that time period. I have a feeling that I may not have to wonder much longer. We are heading in that direction is a quickening downward spiral. How nauseating that is. While I choose not to have a portfolio so to speak, it is still frightening to see the world like this. What amazes me however, is that all the world is watching the United States. Our dying economy is affecting everyone the world around and there is nothing anyone can do to stop it nor is it likely that they want to. Wow. Turbulent times, we are in them folks, maybe the worst ever....

Ice on the Beach......play on words? Not really...

Ok, so sometimes it gets too cold for me. Look at this. Cold without a purpose makes me grumpy. I don't mind cold so long as snow is involved. But this is just silly. This is in front of the Chamber of Commerce in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. Taken on the coldest day of the year, it was a balmy 18 degrees the night before. This picture was taken at 1:30 in the afternoon! Nevermind the fact that the week before it was nearly seventy degrees! What is going on with that?!?!?!?!

This fountain stayed frozen for nearly three days. What you can hardly see here is the side that the sun rises on is on the opposite side of the photographer and that side is almost thawed. I also found a strange beauty here. Icicles are so very pretty no matter where they are. Quite deadly as well. You never want to be underneath one of them suckers when they decide to let go of their perch! OUCH!

Just thought I would liven it up a little here since I started out soo gloomy and dark. Warm days are on their way and more to talk about! Come, chat for a while, we are all friends here. The coffee is fresh even, none of that reheated stuff that many folks I know despise. Hey, it is even the good stuff from Tim Horton's country! Thanks Canada!!!!! =0).

A final thought on our "stroll."

While we are standing there regarding the monstrosity before us, at our feet is something that could be and could not be. It is a blue bandanna. I cringe from it because what it represents has attempted to come to close to my family. Gang violence is not necessarily a new phenomenon but it is something very real and until it is brought to your attention vividly, you do not realize how close it can come.

You always hear that it is only in the big cities and what not but it seems to have permeated everywhere. It is in every crack of American society and is not likely to be eradicated...EVER. What I hope is that the discarded cloth at our feet belongs to some homeless person who has inadvertently dropped it but why would they do that? They don't have much to begin with. Besides, this one looks worn in the gang fashion we see repeatedly on the television.

"Mommas, don't let your babies grow up to be...gang members...." New twist on an old song. Right? Most definitely. What's sad is that I have friends whose children have been accused of "showing colors" at school. That is cutting way too close to home for me. I have contemplated the gang thing a little and it is some scary stuff. Stuff you see on television and would never dream that it would come to a city like this one. But it is here and it is REAL. One of those not in my town situations. Boy was I ever wrong. On the bright side, maybe it is not as bad as I would believe. Let's hope for small miracles, eh?

So we pile back into the car, saddened by our journey but prepared in a way for the next one. Lets close the door on this sad mini chapter and move on. No more misery here.

Let's Take a Ride.

(Thunder begins to roll overhead...) Hmm. Sounds like rain. I wanted to take a ride anyway. Lets saunter over to my car and go for a spin. I have things to show you that are still part of my world, only they are in the larger arena.

We hop in the car and roll down the street. You see a typical city-edge neighborhood. Complete with Food Lion, car lots, eateries, specialty shops, Auto Zone, convenience stores, etc. Nothing new. While it is Sunday, I pull into a parking lot that belongs to a title loan place. I see your puzzled look as you note that it is closed. I merely point to the building next door. It is vacant, remnants of a closed business. That building has its own story to tell.

This building has a story its own. Likely, it will be torn down at some point but I am sure that it will need "cleaning" before its demise. It used to house an adult book store. One of the lovely businesses along the main vein into the city. Boy am I proud to call this place MY home. (You hear the flat tone in my voice.) Because of the nature of its business, you can imagine some of the things that went on there. Rumor has it that prostitutes used to do their trade there. In the private viewing rooms as well as in the parking lot behind the building. Wow. What a more perfect place, there is a privacy fence back there! At any rate, the city finally got tired of it and attempted to charge the owners of the building as well as the business. It was eventually closed down for just those reasons. The sign was taken off the front and doors locked. Deemed a health hazard. NICE. Very nice.

There are other things that are going on around here and they make you want to say: "Not in MY neighborhood." That is what YOU think...

I pity the rich folk and their sanitized ways....

As we walk back toward the next complex, I note that you reflect on our conversation about the artist and his "DEAD" sign. Good. That is what I am trying to accomplish. To try and make you think. To make you more aware of what is really going on. But my work here is far from done. You see, I am in a transition stage and I am trying to prevent someone from filling the spot misery has here for someone. If I can eliminate the life in that chair misery has caned, then I have accomplished something greater that any education can provide. I will be moving on soon, me and my soul mate and our children. We are going on to the next phase in our lives. That phase has so much more to offer than what we have here and we can only hope for that faint glimmer of hope for the others. For misery loves company and it will suck you in like a black hole and keep you here if you are not careful. Just ask some of the true locals. Those who do not have a home so to speak. (You can see those images by following this link. Thanks The Sun News, you do more than just provide a few jobs and some news, you make a statement every now and again! Photo Project: Through the Eyes of the Homeless. http://www.myrtlebeachonline.com/static/weeklysurge/flash/coverSlides011509/index.html)

Upon getting to the bridge, I ask you to take note of something that I like to call the yin/yang of the 'hood. Yes, you are looking at two dumpsters on either side of the same street. The ironic thing about it is that the people with the empty dumpster choose to continue to fill the other one. For what purpose? If they stick to their side of the street, they keep the trash from overflowing and keep their neighborhood and neighbors complex clean. Our owners only own one building on the right side of the street but they own all on the left and still, they say nothing. They never do. Apparently, they don't care.














Doesn't make any sense does it? No, not really. Just something else to be angry about. Nearby, there are nearly 80 children that get on and off the bus five days a week and have to walk by this filth and learn that this is just the way things are. They become numb to the nasty way things are around here and come to believe that things are not much better anywhere else. I am sorry but, mine are going to know better. They are going to have better. This is not what their future is and every one of them know it. I only wish the feeling would spread. Here is hoping right? Na, this city is not going to let that happen. They are too busy worrying about the next large hotel or the next upscale community to remember that it is the people who are left in neighborhoods like these are the ones who made this city what it is. These so called "poor" people are also going to be the glue that holds this place together when the snotty rich people are too good to work menial jobs for a living. Maybe it is because they forgot where they come from or had that silver spoon all along. I pity them. Their antiseptic way of life has poisoned their view of the way the world really is and it is making them step on the ones who have real lives, who show every day they have been alive in their faces and feels it in their hearts. It is we who pity the rich who never give a passing glance to the rest of us. How sad that is.

But I digress...lets continue with a stroll through some parts of town. Other things I want you to see are soon to come.

They don't care, they are paid regardless.

After taking a moment to decipher the statement being made by our friendly sign artist, we decide to take a walk up the street. I want to take you into the next complex but I want you to see something that resides on the other side of the apartment building that is in front of our building. Our building does not face the parking lot it is actually at a ninety degree angle from the first row of parking spaces so our front door looks at another property and our back door looks at the next building in the complex. At any rate, we stroll down to the corner and take a right and I hear you gasp at what you see. I, however, continue to walk without missing a beat. You see, it is like this in my world every day. It is numbing and due to lack of options, you have to get used to it. That I have. This is only a weeks worth of trash for approximately a dozen small apartments. I would not want to be the one who lives next door to this. These people think I am a loud shrew now....

Of course it is ridiculous. What you don't see is that a couple days after this picture was taken, it was trash day and the city came to empty the dumpsters. The city obviously does not obligate them to clean up what is on the ground and what ever overflow fell to the ground remained. That is what makes man so vitriolic to our lovely planet. The failure to care for our environment has poisoned it to the point of destruction. Yes, it is only a matter of time before we choke to death on our own filth.

On the bright side, a caring tenant came out and cleaned up the trash. Thanks to them because it is an eyesore. Trash belongs where trash belongs. It does not belong, however on the ground where there are children play.

Because this is not the way I wish to take you, we do an about face and retrace our steps. But, you have become self aware and you begin to take your surroundings more seriously and you begin to see. You begin to understand...
















The pictures here are just like you see them on the street. The one with the red sign is exactly about face from the dumpster and the one with the couch is directly across from it. You would think that the city workers would have something to say about that or at least charge the tenants or property owners to mandate a cleanup for this. But nobody cares. This is the 'hood. What makes me angry is there are real people who live in these areas and some of them are pretty decent. Progress and modernity has just passed most of them over and keeps their spirits beat down so they have no inspiration to be a productive part of society. So, they just live.

Desperation is what makes most of the criminals. Not meanness. Like any breathing being, people are not born mean, they are made. Most are products of their own environment which in turn is a product of society. Governmental entities try to make things hard on the common man but what they fail to realize is that they are simply keeping the common man in the very places they are trying to run them away from. You see, when you have nothing, you cannot go anywhere. In modern times, it takes money or clout to do ANYTHING. If you want them out, provide them a way and they will gladly leave. It is likely they don't want to be there any more than you don't want them there.

Now, lets walk over toward the next complex...It is a safer walk than taking the main street. Too much traffic....

Dead... Is It Really?

Let's venture out my front door and take a walk out my front door and saunter down the street. There used to be a large planter that tried to have flowers that blocked the end of the street near the creek bridge. It has since been removed. That happened when the owners of the larger subdivision up the block purchased several buildings in the lower half of my street as well as the subdivision that I live in. Here progress forgets. The Dead End sign that signaled to motorists that there was no outlet remains. Recently, someone changed the face of it. Maybe to make a statement? I believe so. Over the past couple of years, Myrtle Beach has allowed massive amounts of "improvement" building. Apparently they opened a window of time for building to occur and it has changed the composition of the city. Myrtle Square Mall is gone as well as the Pavilion, several waterfront bungalows, and many businesses that have been pillars in the community. Yes, progress has rid the city of some of the eyesores but it also has created eyesores that have never been seen. Never before has the plight of the homeless been as prevalent as it is now. Homeless camps in the woods are becoming more visible as they are getting larger and more and more you see prostitution and other illegal activities going on. You read the paper everyday and look at stores getting robbed, people getting murdered and other sad, sad news.

Is it Dead yet? Maybe not, but it is dying. Myrtle Beach was once a destination for the middle class with a little extra money to burn. The bike rallies are gone, the Pavilion, Myrtle Square, and of late, Hard Rock Park. Yesterday, Hard Rock Park's bankruptcy has been converted to a chapter 7 which indicates it will remain closed indefinitely. Unemployment is rampant and is in danger of being sucked dry. Job seekers turn to the paper only to find 4 classifieds in the employment section. I have never seen the job pool this dry. I am thankful daily to be able to have a job to go to. However that company is hurting just like the rest of upper lower America.

Maybe this absent artist is making a loud statement that should be heard. It is a statement of power in itself and should not be ignored. It is not speaking of a person or an entity, it is speaking of what is left in the wake of rampant Progress. Progress that is poorly planned and does not take into account all of the economic, environmental and social devastation it leaves behind. Dead...Is It Really? Maybe So.

My Inspiration

During the many treks my family makes through the Carolina's, my husband and I often chat about the passing countryside. Both of us grew up watching many miles of interstate out the window of our parents cars during the countless number of moves we both made to new states as children. As a result, we choose to take the state roads and the "quiet" routes to our destinations. Obviously many members of our families do not understand the thinking behind the routes we take. This allows our children to see many things that have faded to nothing more than words in a history book. We pass farms that were once vast plantations and on a couple of spots along the way up SC 501, we even see old slave quarters that are giving way to the elements. I hope to share some of these images with you as well as other things that I happen to see along my many misadventures in this mortal life.

I begin with the world closest to me and expand from there. I hope to share many insights into the life of the upper lower class life presently in the South. It is in these rough economic times that many of us reflect on the reality that is part of our everyday lives. I would like to think that we are entering into the Great Depression Revisited. Times are tough. The rocky road that our pockets are travelling is far from over and it is hot out there. People need to reflect on our history. Long gone are the memories of one time rich people jumping out of windows and committing other forms of suicide because the stock market crash hit their interests too hard. We are in the eve of that time and our society is crumbling at our feet. The rich are hurting and the poor are barely surviving. Those of us who are surviving with our heads barely above water see the cornerstones of our society giving way to the despair and hell the greed of man has driven us. Not only is it an economic depression, it is countless other factors as well. Everywhere, illegal immigration is a problem. While it is in everyones interest for our educated population to learn other languages, corporate and political America needs to be reminded that our primary language is and always has been English and nothing should change that. Progress is another thing. Progress pursued by those who have the means has left behind ruin in its wake and it is aesthetically bringing this country to shambles. The countryside is shrinking and will be endangered if we do not repair what we already have first. Everywhere I have been in my travels, I have seen too much progress. In my own community, for instance, the money makers and paper pushers have blotted out the light from the beloved Ocean Boulevard and have left the rest of the city to rot. All for the love of money. This rot is what I experienced recently when I decided to ride a bike to work. While I focus on the area between the beach and the Intracoastal waterway, it is Myrtle Beach that is rotting while the city council focuses on tearing down what made Myrtle Beach what it is and tries to make it something it is not.

I welcome all comments and critiques to my blog and take all suggestions into consideration. While these blogs may seem one-sided, they are merely opinions and insights by one person. If you disagree with what is in the following blogs, please be nice and do not bash. That is not the objective here. I just want to turn my thoughts into a form of art...electronically.