Enjoy!
Remember the other day I told you the stove attacked me? Apparently I was supposed to keep my mouth shut about it. Yes, I blabbed it to the world. I told everyone the stove committed a battery and now it was soon to go to stove prison for all eternity as it is being replaced. My bad. I was soo frazzled by what it did, when it was “arrested” I failed to heed the warning and keep my mouth shut.
From inside…
It put a hit out on me.
Fast forward to today. We had to replace a TV in our daughters room because the picture would fade out for sometimes 20 minutes at a time. She had the temporary replacement for a few days. She finally got around to switching them out. I suggested to her younger brother that we take it apart. So we take into his room and commence the dissection. Now let me blatantly digress (but not really) it did not occur to me to grab the rubber gloves before this and I am certainly glad this was a teachable moment for the whole house. (We will get to that.) We had been at it for about thirty minutes. We had the back off. Some of the connectors were off. We had a happy mess. I sent number eleven to bother Cal for something and I seen something. I said “Ooooh! What is under here?”
Without gloves, being grounded, AND with my rings on, I put two fingers and a thumb on each side of the circle and attempted to peel the circle back. (If you don’t already know…the wire was connected to a capacitor that was unplugged from electricity less than thirty minutes prior. The circle was made of rubber and whatever the hell was under that circle was connected to a cathode ray tube. A.k.a. the CRT. The CRT is a big ass light bulb in older TVs. Digression over. You have been educated.) What happened next can only be fully understood if you have done it before.
zzzzzZZZZAAAAAPPPPPFFFFF!!!! **SHRIEK!!!!!!** — INSERT ALL THIIRTEEN FORBIDDEN SPONGEBOB WORDS, LOUDLY, HERE —
That thing grabbed me and told me things. In all of point zero zero one seconds, the Television told me it was from the depths of hell and it was giving be a stern warning that the stove didn’t deserve what I had done. It was there to teach me a lesson. Courtesy of the stove.
“Ya hear? I am going to run circles through your arms so fast it will flippin hurt then your feet will go numb. You will feel my wrath for a long, long time blitch!”
And just like that. It was done.
Magically appearing stage right…every child in the house morphs into the doorway. From nowhere. I finally came back to reality and looked up at them. I expected Cal to be there too. However, in his classic style, he comes after I come to my senses to dance circles around me. ” I know what you did! You should have known better!” (Of course you sing this in a childs teasing voice and only imagine it because he is more somber than that but its fun to pretend. Hehe.) No. Really he comes to the room a few minutes later after each child, one by one, goes to tell him “Mommy did something!” To which the reply is “I know but what?” He comes in, puts his hands on his hips and looks at me with that ‘look at you’ look and just shakes his head. (Ya, when I do dumb chit, all you have to do is enter the room and come to the RIGHT conclusion.)
I can say this: Lesson learned. Nah…
I sit for a second. Take this picture and ask the grumpy teenager to get me the box of rubber gloves. I was not going to let this thing get the best of me. Uh…I should have had these to start with?
Yeah. I got other things taken off but was overly cautious and quit about ten minutes after this. Lesson learned…a little bit. Number eleven learned what NOT to do. Graphically and I your face..sort of.
Cal later told me I needed to quit before I am the star of the next Final Destination movie. He may be right.
What do YOU think?
