Saturday, December 13, 2014

Will there ever be a reprieve?

This is my attempt to get some variety between my channels. Most of the time, I will just copy and paste a post from WordPress to Blogger to author page. This morning, it just hit me to try something different. Besides, the more I write, the less "inflated" I feel. I am finding this post to be a little more difficult as there is usually a thought process involved before I actually sit down and write something.
This one, in the attempt to be different, is just random chit floating through my head and was intended to be a thing about money and morphed into something else just after I wrote the title. I know, I should always write the content then find a fitting title. Some say it's easier but you know me and shock value. While it is not shocking to anyone else, it is still a writer's eccentric habit and that is shocking to other writers.


I have always written or kept a journal since I was a kid. While my writing has evolved and life circumstances dictate that I write differently, the need is the same. Its like breathing. A writer is not healthy without writing SOMETHING. For me, there are things that I come across during the day that I think "that would be awesome to put out there with my skewed line of thinking." Others never see the light of day either because I forget or it is just not there anymore by the time I get near my computer. Yea, I need to get a laptop again. I avoid my office like the plague when I am not working. Too bad I don't make enough to work ONLY on my writing. I am certain there would be a lot more accomplished there. But that is the digression here and yes, a topic for another day.


The reprieve I am asking for here is because, sometimes, my fingers just are too tired from working or writing other things to type out what I have bouncing around in my head. You see, it starts off as a random thought floating into the room. That thought begins to replicate itself and then bounce around in my head until it is all encompassing and I have to "get it out."




This is why a writer HAS to write. My curiosity is this: How much CAN a writer write before they are satisfied that they are done? Even if only for one day. I write and get my quarter machine bouncy balls out of my brain. However, once the room is clear...here comes another. Is there a way to shut the door they happily bounce from? If there is, do I WANT to have that door shut?


THAT, my friends, I do not have the answer to.

What do YOU think?


Tuesday, December 9, 2014

Leadership Posting number 1

I write several blogs among other things. I like to think that I am right up there with my favorite author Stephen King, with the fifty or so pages every day. I am published and am currently working on book number 2. I write for here and WordPress. I write letters to my children (for their own stories) all the time and I have a paper due for Doctorate studies each week. I have social media as well. Finally, I have a blog for work that I have started over the past year.


The following is a new feature in my work blog. Leadership posts. It is based upon the idea that good leaders have specific traits and I want to share these traits with people. Even if the reader is not interested in being a leader and wants to remain amongst the sheeple, that is ok. This will still help make you a better human being. Certainly true if you deal with the public at all.


Here it is:


One of the most redeeming qualities I have found in the leaders that have the most effective teams is that the know how to listen and can listen well. This is something that can roll over into making a customer happy. Sometimes an angry customer just wants to vent and it is most effective at someone who will LISTEN.  While you do not have to agree with them, a  great deal of supervisor calls are resolved by just listening to the frustrations of the customer. Their issue may not get any further than what the agent has already done, but the listening part is key to get them to calm down most of the time. 

(Back story because I always have one....I came across the below information cleaning out my briefcase that I found in the attic last night. For those of you who don't know me, I was a paralegal and have a PhD in Law. Yes, I like to argue. That is why I had this paper in my briefcase because listening was something that was vital when it came to flushing out the real issues in the legal field.) While I scanned it and posted a pic of the document below, I will write it out for you so that you can read it clearly as some of it is fuzzy. Yes, there is a spill. Disregard that, stupid attic weather....

HOW TO BECOME A BETTER LISTENER

1. STOP TALKING: You can't listen while you are talking. 

2. ONE CONVERSATION AT A TIME: Don't try to engage in two conversations at once. You may hear two people at one time, but you can't effectively listen to two conversations at once. 

3. EMPATHIZE WITH THE PERSON SPEAKING: Try to put yourself in their place so that you can see what the speaker is trying to get at...YES, this is not as easy as it sounds but a restatement of what you've heard or an appropriate question will often uncover areas of miscommuncation.

4. ASK QUESTIONS:  That's right, we did just mention asking questions. But it's so important it bears restating. When you don't understand or when you need further clarification, ask questions. Don't ask questions that are a form of a statement about how smart you are on a subject. If you have information to offer, make a statement. 

5. DON'T INTERRUPT: Don't interrupt when someone else is speaking. Give the speaker time to say what they have to say. THEN, and not before, ask you questions or take issue with what the speaker has said. MIND HOW YOU TAKE ISSUE WITH SOMEONE ELSE'S STATEMENTS.

6. SHOW INTEREST: Look at the speaker - Their face, mouth, eyes, and hands. All these things will help the speaker communicate with you, and this effort will help you concentrate. Eye contact is significant. 

7. CONCENTRATE ON WHAT IS BEING SAID: Actively focus your attention on the speaker's words, ideas, and feelings related to the subject. If you are in doubt as to the subject, a question is in order.
 
8. DON'T JUMP TO CONCLUSIONS: When you do, you tune yourself out from the rest of what the speaker has to say. You may tend to think to yourself, "Hurry up and finish because I've got your point." or by rudely interrupting and saying, "Yes, yes. I know what you mean. What else is new?" By doing either, you run the risk of misunderstanding the entire conversation because of a premature conclusion you drew. Yes, there are some people who drone on and on. At the appropriate break or pause, ask if you've got the gist or point by summarizing what you've heard. This is a polite way to test the point. 

9. CONTROL YOUR ANGER: Try not to get angry with what they are saying. Your anger will most likely prevent you from understanding what is really being said. Plus, it is YOUR RESPONSIBILITY TO DEAL WITH YOUR FEELINGS!
10. REACT TO IDEAS, NOT TO THE SPEAKER: Don't allow your reactions to the speaker to influence your interpretation of what is being said. Their ideas may be good even if you don't like them as a person or like the way the look or speak or move. 

11. LISTEN FOR WHAT IS NOT SAID: Sometimes you can learn just as much by determining what the other person leaves out or avoids saying as you can by listening to what is actually being said. Pay attention to how it is being said, also. 

12. SHARE THE RESPONSIBILITY FOR COMMUNICATION: Only part of the responsibility for effective communication rest with the speaker. You as the listener, have an obligation to actively listen to what is being communicated and ask questions when you do not understand. 

If you make note of the above tips and put them into action, your are on your way to becoming an effective leader. Even if leadership is not in your future, it still goes a long way to use some of these to listen to our customers. After all. They ARE the reason we are here!

What do YOU think?

Wednesday, November 5, 2014

Coffee makes the world better.

For those of you who know me, even minutely, know that me and coffee have to be like peas in a pod or the world is NOT happy.  Sadly, 3 days before payday, I RAN OUT!  I scrambled up enough change to get Mt. Dew for the first day and that was ok. I survived and did not kill anyone and it was a great substitute….for that one day. The second day, I had about an inch left of the Mt. Dew (Yes, I went through almost the whole 1.5 litre the day before!) and I tried to save that until I absolutely needed it. By then it was flat and flat sodas are nasty. I still choked it down.
Enter random daily text messages from dear Hubby.
**Snort** **Growl** **Bite** **Draw Blood** All the while I am at WORK and you know that at work, Micaa has to play nice because she talks on the phone for a living! Yes, it was a near impossible feat but I survived it and no, there are no pending criminal charges.  So, work was ok. People tore my nerves to kingdom come but I didn’t curse anyone out and we were relatively busy so I didn’t have time to contemplate destroying the universe due to lack of caffeine.  This, I tell you, is a great service my job provided to the world!   (Yes, I digressed, here we go.) I was very snappy in my text messages to my love. I had to take a break and go tell him. “Look, sorry I am not being very nice. I have no coffee. No creamer. AND no soda! So yes, I am grouchy.” I did not want to alarm the children so I had walked out of my office and directly to dear Hubby and whispered that in his ear.
Know what he did? He started to belly laugh. The more I tried to explain my terrible attitude, the more he laughed. I gave him that joy. He needed a good laugh and he sure got it. He did tell me “WHY didn’t you tell me!!! I have a coupla bucks!  I could have brought you a soda when I came in from work this morning! You surely didn’t have to suffer like that!” (-.-)  ß THAT was my reply.
When I got off work, we went and purchased coffee and creamer yesterday. J
I got a BIG can so I won’t have this problem EVER EVER again.
Fast forward to 3 a.m. this morning.
Per my usual routine, I go to make my beloved coffee (after brushing my teeth of course…you NEVER want to smell your morning breath before coffee. Blech!) and I got the filter cup….opened the cabinet…pulled the lid off the can… and OH…..MY…..GAWD…..the smell of pure heaven!  I inhaled the scent ever so deeply and announced to the dark kitchen (yes, only the light of the fish tank illuminated my surroundings) “That smells soooo good! I just want to stick my face in it!!!” Happily, I went on about my day. When it was finally done brewing, that first sip was like nothing else! I. feel. So. Much. Better!
Later in the morning, I told our daughter what I said. She looked at me like O.o.  “Did you have your usual little can? You can’t stick your face in the little can mom.”  To which my giddy reply “No my dear, I had the big can so I honestly could have stuck my face in it if I wanted to!”  Here comes the peanut gallery filled with dear Hubbys’ voice “Oh yes! I could see mommy sticking her face into the can eating coffee grounds. Imagine it daughter! Bwahahahaha!”
There you go, everyone got a great laugh at my pain and suffering. However family, you DO sleep when I get up as I get up during the time the rest of the world calls “ungodly.”  Remember that when you go to bed tonight and beware!!!!
You all will sleep sometime…..when you wake…I will be caffeinated and IN YOUR FACE!  You will hate me so much but you think about that when you laugh at my uncaffinated state next time. Mmmmkay?
What do YOU think?

Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Corutesy Arrest Warrant

I consider myself a "dangerous mind" because I live smack in the middle of the ghetto of my city and do things like read arrest records and search public records indexes and get the "scoop" on people. Don't worrry, I don't do it unless I am asked to investigate someone or I just do random searches of family members names to see how many identical names are in trouble with the law. Crazy hobby, I know. It passes the time. Better than porn, right?
I stumbled upon a new data base this morning and something made me wonder. 
What in the heck is a "courtesy arrest warrant?" 
I should have looked at the charge and it would have made it all crystal clear. However, I was looking for something in particular and was not interested in the charge for a "courtesy arrest warrant" at the time. However, in a list of 7500+ records, I continued to see this over, and over again. I turned to one of my co workers and said:
WTHeck is a courtesy arrest warrant?  Hrmm....."Good morning citizen! As a one time courtesy, I am going to arrest you for your convenience, please hold."  :)  That made for a good laugh. After I said that, I noted that the charge was for larceny/failure to return books. AHHHH. It all makes sense now! LIBRARY BOOKS!!!  Still, courtesy for what? Is it a reminder? (ya, ya, I know it IS a courtesy for the Library. They want their stuff back.)  Is it something where you are "warned" but still fingerprinted, mugshotted, and let go to find and return or paid for said item? (Yes, I said mugshotted. Mugged was simply not appropriate.) 
At any rate, that made me worry and I ended up searching for MY name as I have had a book that has not been returned because I am not done with it yet. Yes, I have done all the renewals I could on it and the library has even emailed me a bill for it. It was due I think in.....March. I just put it down and forgot to finish it. Soooooo. I guess I am reading today and returning the library book before I get my "courtesy" handed to me in the form of silver bracelets. 
**shudders** Scary thought.  However, ironically, to receive shinies over an epic dragon story. Go figure. 
Only Me.
What do YOU think?

Sunday, October 12, 2014

Where is my beloved beach?

Most of you know I have been fighting a battle with depression and the jury is still out on which side is going to win. I am vehemently opposed to obtaining medication for this because I believe I can kick its butt on my own. However, sometimes I wonder.
I tried something different yesterday. I made myself get out of the house and go visit an old friend who was in town with her family for the weekend. It was nice to have a grown up conversation with someone who does not live in my home nor is not words on a computer screen. We talked in general about nothing as we watched the beach activity and looked out over the ocean toward the end or the world. While it was horribly hot, it was nice to be outside of my element even if only for a short time. It was great catching up with an old friend. I needed to be at the beach. I love it there. The smell of the ocean air, the sound of the waves and the beauty of the dangerous ocean. It has more power than anyone realizes. I am also trying other things. I am writing via snail mail to my lifelong best friend and it is exciting to wait for the mail and to write back and see how long it takes to get there. That helps too. (Teeny digression there. Yea, you didn’t know that.)
Unfortunately, I cut my visit short because I had hungry children and I knew I had to get home soon. I always have something to do that I will never get done because the inspiration leaves me when I start to see blue. (You know, you see red when you are livid. I see blue when I am down.) I didn’t want Mary to see me like that. So I left. That didn’t help my mood any. Instead of going home the way we came, I decided to give in to the boys request and we walked the beach back toward the house. I am happy to say they had a blast. I just felt worse and worse. I looked out over my beloved ocean and began to think of how the United States and other developed countries constantly send their street run off into the ocean and how dirty that makes the water at the sand’s edge. To watch people freely play in it. Hell, they may as well be playing in ditch water. I also thought about how careless people are in that they don’t take care of my beloved beach. They leave trash everywhere and really do not care that it affects everything. This made me sad because it is yet more evidence of human nature that fails our planet and fails our children. We fail each other as a people.
Then I turn inward and begin to think of personal things. How I used to LOVE the beach more than I do now. How it was a place of solace for me. I could stand at the edge of the tide and feel the waves lapping at my feet. I would look out as far as I could see and imagine falling off the “edge” of the earth and deeply breathe in the salt air and feel at peace. I would feel at home. For a brief moment…I would feel comfortable in my own skin. I would feel comfortable breathing and with Michele. Its almost elation. Once I began to think about how being at the beach used to make me feel. I stopped. I tried to catch that elusive moment of joy.
It eluded me.
The ocean seemed dark. The sky unforgiving. I felt alone.
I had to step back from that. I turned my attention to my boyz who were frolicking in the tied pools and having a blast. No video games, no money being spent for some overinflated attraction that is a disappointment. Just fun with each other and the beach. My beloved beach. That perked me up a little but I was still sad. (OMG did I just break down into tears right now while writing this!?)
We continued our walk down the beach and happened upon a festival that was going on for the day at the board walk. Once we got on the boardwalk, we listened to some music from a concert while we put on our shoes and refilled our water bottle. The band there played “Happy.” Maybe that was the world trying to tell me something. I took that as a sign and put all that mess behind me and we took the street which led to our house. Another sign was that we came across one of our daughter’s friends and he stopped and had a conversation with us. Polite and respectful teenagers always are a breath of better in this horrible world we live in.
Maybe I can beat this. Maybe my beloved beach will come back to me.
What do YOU think?

Monday, September 29, 2014

It will take a lifetime to fix this mess we are in

I was having a thought process before coffee this morning. (I know, dangerous right?) It all started the other day when my daughter and I were discussing an injury she had at one of her million (exaggeration but it might as well be) athletic activities through the local high school. She was telling me how the trainer told her to do this exercise and that and then both hot and cold therapies. All I could do was sit there and listen to her recite the list of things she has to do to get "better." I was amazed at what she was telling me. Not because of what she had to do but because the injury was a twisted ankle. I don't want to negate that it could have been worse because the back-inside of her foot turned purple after about a week and it DID swell the first couple of days.  I am certain it was painful and a legitimate injury. I do believe that some of what the trainer told her helped it heal but lets be realistic here.


I remember being a kid, we fell down, "shook it off" and got back up. When I twisted my ankle as a track athlete in high school, the coach wrapped it up and told me to get back to running. My running may have been a bit slow during the first couple of days, but so long as I stayed off it as much as possible for the next week, I was fine. Mind you, this comes from someone who can fall off of something that is not there and nearly BREAK her ankle.  Anywhoo, the point is, they basically told her to baby the thing. Were it when I was an athlete, it would have turned purple within 24 hours and then began to heal and I would have been back to normal in a week. No hot and cold therapy, not exercises to ease back into using it. That stuff is for when you have surgery or a real break. Personally, I believe it delayed the healing process and it is nearly 2 weeks later and the purple is JUST starting to go away. Hrmm. Shaking it off made it heal faster folks. As Numba Ten would fondly blurt out "Jus Sayin!"


That led me to the next thing. The WHOLE reason the thought process occurred to me, in the kitchen, making coffee, at 5 a.m.  I began thinking about all of the people who have lawsuits against schools recently for the coaches and trainers not being sensitive to medical needs of their athletes. If you think about it, everyone has some sort of medical issue they are fighting these days. Is it all really necessary?  Yea, medical science is taking us into longer lives and such but at what cost?


It all starts with mother nature and this planet we live on. We have poisoned the very planet that is supposed to sustain us. Traditional methods of farming and growing food are not enough to sustain the insatiable (and wasteful) population that controls it. This means we have to grow more, faster, and bigger. Man has found that chemicals can do that. The food we grow is no longer "of the earth" the earth is just a petri dish where we grow the worlds largest squash to feed 100,000 people instead of a whole field of wholesome, flavorful, natural squash. No, we cant do the latter because it takes to long and we need to do this NOW. So, bring out the miracle grow and other chemicals and make it grow overnight. We fill our livestock with steroids and lock it up in tight little prisons so they cannot move and are destined a horrible death. Never mind that their life may be filled with pain and rage due to the chemicals we are forcing into it. This monster we are raising to eat is filled with chemicals that would kill a human being. We wear full body protective suits just to use the chemicals we are putting into our food. What happened to the habanero pepper being the only thing that would burn your skin when it came to food? Finally, let me get started on the water and sugars. We wastefully use so much water that we have to make it a chemical cocktail just so that we can drink it and hydrate our bodies. How much of that chemical remains when we ingest it is questionable at best. Sugar. Let me have the unrefined, nothing else added sugar. All this "high fructose corn syrup" is for the birds and it is FAKE PEOPLE!  If you want that, just eat the plastic container that your milk comes in. Its probably the same thing.


With all these chemicals and fake things we are putting into our bodies every day, (don't get me started on the highly processed stuff) it is no wonder there are so many people fighting illnesses and on medication for this or that every day. In another post, I talked about how the advent of electronics has created a whole generation of ADHD children (yea, small digression there, it was bound to happen.) This leads me to thinking about what it would take to eliminate society's need to rely so heavily on the pharmaceutical industry. A side note-pharmaceuticals are yet another round of chemicals we are putting into our bodies to fight the very chemicals that likely caused the issue in the first place. Ugh. Circular.


It would take a lifetime.


First, we have to get back to basics. Pay attention to the people who say grow your own food. Grow it with love and time. Use that garden to spend time with your family and get off the electronics. Sun is good for you. Work at home people will heartily agree. Use it to learn patience and caring and it will taste sooo good! No chemicals, just unadulterated (albeit a little smaller than the trend) wholesome FLAVORFUL goodness. You can garden year round. This will start something. You will spend less money at the store. The stores will rely less and less on the farmers and the farmers can go back to being what they should be. Farmers. They wont have to have a PHD in chemistry to poison the land with chemicals and sprays and will be able to grow a whole field of the good stuff and not the worlds largest squash. This will also prevent the farmer from feeding his livestock chemical ridden foods that ultimately end up on your table.


Next, livestock producers should raise their livestock the way it should be raised. Because their crops will be better and they wont have to spend so much on chemicals for their crops, they will not have to sell off their land and will be able to sustain their livestock on larger pieces of land and can sell the good stuff like they were supposed to do. Its all about give and take. This puts less chemicals in the meat that ends up on your table and the earth is beginning to heal. It is going to take a lifetime for the poisons we have put into this planet for food purposes to go away. It will reduce the freaks we see...two headed snakes, unusually HUGE bugs. Plants and trees will begin to grow again. Another thing that would help this planet heal is to use the land that already has development on it and relief it. Stop building on the farmers land and clear off that old building further into the city and build the same thing. Leave the farmer to what he should be doing well in the first place.


Another thing that you can do is build your own water filtration system. Honestly you only need 1x1 posts, plastic, buckets, rocks and soil. You filter your own water. So much better than the stuff coming out of your tap water. Getting used to non chemical water can take a couple of weeks of getting used to but with all these chemicals removed from your body, you will likely find that the medicines you are taking are no longer needed. You are eating, drinking and living healthier and due to the fact that you are spending less at the grocery store and less at the water payment center and less at the pharmacy, you find you have money for other things and can create memories instead of less gratifying images or words on a screen. You are LIVING.


So go forth. Live life. Do things the way mother nature has wanted us to do all along. Be tired of seeing "mother sick in bed." Help her heal. Be HUMAN. LIVE!


What do YOU think?


...And yes, my coffee is almost done.....**Micaa walks off to grab that first glorious cup.**

Thursday, September 18, 2014

The Zombie Apocalypse is Among Us

As a person who works from home, my exposure to natural sunlight is limited to what I actually allow myself. Sometimes, I can go for days without so much as opening the door to my home because I can do everything from the comfort of my home office. From work to social media, even shopping and paying the bills, I never have to leave my house if I want to. (Remember Reclusivity is Possible?) As a result, I notice my body undergo changes if I do not get some sunlight exposure. I am going to share this observation with you in an effort to curb the Zombie affect.
Since the interwebs have become mainstream in our society, certain things have occurred. Society has become so dependent on electronic devices that even our Supreme Court has so noted that aliens will one day come and observe our culture via archaeology and will come to believe that our cell phones are an appendage to our bodies and not some separate device used for its convenience. I am no UFO or digging expert but I think I will agree with our Supreme Court justices on this one. Also, I am no scientist but (returning to my topic) when I go days without getting some natural sunlight on my skin, I notice that, when I get an itch and I go to scratch it, it feels different.
This can be a passing itch or even one from a mosquito bite. When I go to scratch, it feels like the first layer of my skin is going to tear like it is a thin sheet of bible paper. Seriously! It feels just like that. I go t scratch the itch, ever so gently and I feel like I am digging for china and that my skin will simply rip open and there will be a valley in my arm, leg, neck, whatever, that will be beyond repair.
Those of us who ignore minimal signs like this are the Zombies among us. They end up scratching. Then they get sores and become pale and sickly. When they do decide to become human for a moment, they have become unkempt, smell, and REALLY need to change their fading clothes. Yes folks, the interwebs have made Zombies of us all. It is the few (like me) that occasionally visit the healing rays of the sun (IN moderation!) to allow our skin to repair and strengthen almost like plants do when they photosynthesize.
These are the conclusions as I walk to the store for my soda allotment for the week when I return to my cave to work. Maybe I AM a Zombie too. Should I just submit to the inevitable?
What do YOU think?