Sunday, June 2, 2013

Write letters to your children. Often

This morning, I woke to some movie where a group of kids were graduating high school. I imagine it was one of those where they did some epic journey to get there and they have come to the realization that their lives are all about to change. No wonder I was pondering the things I sat on the side of the bed and realized.  As a parent, they were very sobering thoughts.
While I know everything that my children are doing right now, something finally sank in.  In the same year, we have one (our youngest) graduating Kindergarten and another about to start high school.  Still the third is about to transition from the little kid to the big kid and enter the fourth grade.  I have one word for that.
                                                                            WOW.....O.O
Our children really do grow up so fast!  I know that they will always be my babies.  My heart holds that to be a fact but they are becoming their own people.  While this has been quite an eventful year so far (for lack of a better description,)  I cannot help but celebrate their achievements and be their biggest fan.  Even with the oldest two out and doing their thing, they are all still my children and I am still their mother and I could not be more proud.  Love your children folks, no matter how distant you are and no matter what they have done.  They are a reflection of yourself and you should be so proud.
One thing that I have done over the years is I write letters to our children.  No, they don't get them and I am not sure if they will ever read them.  However, if they do, I certainly hope that their love of reading will kick in and it will be the best read ever!  I know, you are all like: Wha?????  What I mean is that I do write them. I write them often and every chance I get.  While this was supposed to be some exclamation on my death bed, I want them to know right now that their life stories will be chronicled through my eyes so be on the look out for that when I go home to live with the angels.  I write these letters and I keep a chapter for each of them.  Sort of my gift to them when they are grown.
I write these and I put them aside.  I want them to know the joys, heartaches, and celebrations I had as having the best job on earth. Being their mother.  No holds barred folks.  Anger, joy, revelation, and simple observation encompass each page and I can only hope that they will even read a few.  I have always believed that the best story is your own. No matter what ups or downs you may have had.  I think it to be the best thing I can leave them. No amount of property or money or bequests can replace what your life story is.  Oh, it is illustrated too. Pictures, school work, write ups, little things from the heart they gave me.  That is the whole purpose of a file cabinet.  Not to hold receipts and important documents but to hold MEMORIES!  I love it when I go through my moms things and she has the little things I have given her over the years.  Especially true as a kid.  For example...She has this treasure chest thing.  She would always let me play with it when she would clean out her jewelry box.  Fond memories there.  Inside it right now is some trinket I gave her as a little girl.  Some years back, some lovely person created this "floam" stuff.  We allowed our daughter to stay the summer with my mother and when we picked her up, that treasure box was covered in  the stuff.  Artfully done, it still has that intrepid junk on it but I look at it and imagine the memory of MY daughter sitting next to her grandmother on the bed as they went through the jewelry box and the treasure chest was given new, colorful life with floam.  Memories are the best. Even a bad day is made better for just a moment by a great memory.
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNGGGGG, mini digression there. (Pun intended.) It is never too late to write letters to your children.  Even if they are teenagers or grown for that matter. WRITE THEM!  You have so much to say if you are not starting the day they were born!  Most of us do it (in a fashion) anyway if we keep a baby book through age five.  Why stop there?  No, there is no strict schedule.  Just when the moment behooves you to do so.  They can be a half a page, a few sentences, or a mini chapter.  Write them!  Let them know where they are in your golden years and make them promise not to peek until you are their angel watching over them.  It will enable them to remember the good times and to see themselves in a different light. Through their mothers eyes!  Yes!  Nobody sees them quite like their mother.  What a wonderful gift to give your child.
Write them when they are little. Write them when they get married.  Write them when they fell down and got the "biggest boo boo ever."  Write them for no reason.  Write them because you have started when they are adults and you have so many stories to tell.  Write them to say "I love you and I am proud" and nothing more. Anytime will do folks!
I know that many may not even like to write and that is ok.  Leave them something for them to know you were in tune with them no matter how busy you may have been.  Over the years, there are flowers, drawings, simple little what nots that were given to you from the heart and for your children to see them again when they become their own people it something that would bring joy to their hearts.  All of the no's, and groundings, and attitudes will be forgotten and, just for a moment, they will remember what you are...........Mommie! (Dads can do this too, it is not limited.  Just because I am a mother, I am writing to the fellow moms out there.)

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