Anyone with a little girl or a child who loves to do arts and crafts knows the fight of the glitter fairy. If you have someone in your home that uses glitter, you KNOW to what I am referring. Even if you forbid glitter from being used in your home, should you have kids, the glitter fairy will still pay your home a visit. This is certain to happen around the holidays. Silver for Christmas, orange for Halloween, red for Valentines day. You get the picture. Once you find that you have come in contact with glitter, it is like a contagious disease. The chit gets EVERYWHERE. Not only that, it is often worse than sharpie markers. It sticks around and is impossible to wash away.
The last time I painted my fingernails, (not something I do often, but I find it relaxing. I should do it more. Maybe....) I used a clear top coat with glitter flecks in it. Every single time I use this stuff I fail to remember how difficult it is to get off. Its like it becomes imbedded into the nail or something because fingernail polish will not take it off. I have to scrape it off and damage the heck out of my nails. No amount of rubbing with a rag or cotton ball or tissue drenched in fingernail polish remover will get that chit off. I imagined once, using turpentine or kerosene to try to get that glitter junk off but I was too chicken to try. My nails may fall off! These are MY nails and they are real. Not something you see everyday. They are "salon length" too. (Just about the only part of myself I take pride in currently, but after yesterday, THAT will change. Yes, I digress.)
So here I sit. At work. Scrapping glitter that the glitter fairy has seen fit to adhere to my nails simply so I can paint my nails to match my shirt. Note: New fingernail polish has even tinier glitter pieces in it. The removal of THAT should be just as fun! I am certain I have done enough to my nails to ensure the next color I paint them will become a permanent part of them until it grows out. Thank gosh my nails grow fast.
This is where I get to the point. The glitter fairy has this secret superglue stuff that she lovingly coats each piece of glitter ever created. This is why it has that lovely permanence. Mind you, it is purposely done. Glitter Fairy Super Glue has this chemical in it that allows for it to time release (I mean let go) of any Elmer's glue, paste, or glue stick simply so that it can be found every single place your child's art work or craft has been. This is where you have to be careful. If your child grabbed the toilet paper roll and used some during arts and crafts, think twice before wiping your rear. Gosh forbid you go to a colonoscopy and your Doctor find glitter in your crack! Yipes! Haha. Remember that story of the lady who had a "woman's" appointment at the OB/GYN and her daughter had placed glitter in a wash cloth near the sink? How mortifying. Also, you don't want to go to an interview or a court date looking like you had been puked upon by the Glitter Unicorn of Shinydom either.
Point is, glitter is horrible stuff. While it may look good and is very shiny, it is DANGEROUS!
What do YOU think?
Reader suggested posts. Other blogs I write and prompts from my readers.
Wednesday, January 7, 2015
Tuesday, January 6, 2015
Day 6: Self loathing
I have always had issues with self. I have cone to realize that I checked out
of the self love department many, many years ago. I understood this today. I
don’t know what caused this light bulb moment. I think it was the culmination of
many things. Not sure where to start but here goes.
My self image has always been skewed. I imagine this is the same flaw that anorexics an bulimics posses. I say this because when I see people who are the same clothing size as me, I do not see this huge person that my reflection shows. I am sure that when I look at my own reflection, I see this fat person who is a whole lot bigger than what she really is. This disgusts me and makes me feel bad. Psychologists will likely tell me its a good thing I recognize that. Not beeing happy with the vessel which encompasses your soul causes a lot of inner conflict. For me is creates self hate and that is destructive. This where I have been for almost since I can remember. Before being fat bacame an issue it was some other thing. Why did I have nappy curly hair when all my friends had shiny straight hair or why was I a red head? No one else was. When I got into my teen years that damned whit stripe that appeared in my hair (off center like a cockeyed skunk) every summer and I had a pooch for my lower abs and not a flat stomach like everyone else. I hated it. I hated me. This has been a lifetime of self hate.
Fast forward to late teens ane early 20’s. I had very few boyfriends and the ones I did have were not nice to me. Called me ugly and would pick on me in front of the circle of friends I thought I had. This is where people don’t believe the bubble I lived in. Not much happened. I just existed and not much more. My first real “party” was not until I was 21 and it was the first birthday party of Cals that I went to. To this day, I have picture of us at that party on my desk. I was almost human. I have been in and out of serious hate with myself over the course of my whole life.
Tyler Perry’s Madea says “Honey how in the hell can you love someone else if you cannot love yourself.” Today, I finally understand that sentiment. It took a couple days of self loathing, too many beers and nearly a year of wandering in the dark to come to that conclusion. Know what else attributed to this life changing moment? It took the intentional trespass of someone whom I thought to be a friend to trample all over my feelings, heart, and soul. She took my very being and slammed it on rusty spikes of betrayal and then walked on it like it was an afterthoughtm she took pure bitch and rubbed my face in it then walked away laughing. What she did was unspeakable and hurt me beyond anything I can put into words. For that, unnamed woman, (you know who you are queen sandwich maker
There is your digression peeps.) I want to thank you. I forgive you for what you did. I forgive the threat, for what you still are. (Two meanings there.) And I forgive you for what you are. Also, I have a great fondness and love for you. I wish the best for you and yours. For you are a sister in kind and the divinity of the Mother Goddess is in you as it is in all of us. Prosper sister. I will take what you have shown me and learn from it ad return it to you tenfold.
As a result of this thing that was done, I fully understand that I will find peace only when I truly love me. I have started down the path to healing from the harm that was done to me as well as the years of being spiritually checked out. I know I have a long way to go and it wont be easy but I do know who will ride or die with me.
I know who is with me and who is not. I know my ride or die family and if some November Rain washes it away, I know I will be ok because I have discovered that I can get back up, pick up the pieces, and continue on. Also know that the bond I have with my Cal cannot be broken. His is my rock and nothing can break that. Any thing that comes along and tries is only temporary and external.
I am going to love me. I am going to fix what has been broken and move on. Watch out world. Its ALL about to change. I am strong and beautiful. I am phenomenal. I SHINE.
Whaylt do YOU think?
My self image has always been skewed. I imagine this is the same flaw that anorexics an bulimics posses. I say this because when I see people who are the same clothing size as me, I do not see this huge person that my reflection shows. I am sure that when I look at my own reflection, I see this fat person who is a whole lot bigger than what she really is. This disgusts me and makes me feel bad. Psychologists will likely tell me its a good thing I recognize that. Not beeing happy with the vessel which encompasses your soul causes a lot of inner conflict. For me is creates self hate and that is destructive. This where I have been for almost since I can remember. Before being fat bacame an issue it was some other thing. Why did I have nappy curly hair when all my friends had shiny straight hair or why was I a red head? No one else was. When I got into my teen years that damned whit stripe that appeared in my hair (off center like a cockeyed skunk) every summer and I had a pooch for my lower abs and not a flat stomach like everyone else. I hated it. I hated me. This has been a lifetime of self hate.
Fast forward to late teens ane early 20’s. I had very few boyfriends and the ones I did have were not nice to me. Called me ugly and would pick on me in front of the circle of friends I thought I had. This is where people don’t believe the bubble I lived in. Not much happened. I just existed and not much more. My first real “party” was not until I was 21 and it was the first birthday party of Cals that I went to. To this day, I have picture of us at that party on my desk. I was almost human. I have been in and out of serious hate with myself over the course of my whole life.
Tyler Perry’s Madea says “Honey how in the hell can you love someone else if you cannot love yourself.” Today, I finally understand that sentiment. It took a couple days of self loathing, too many beers and nearly a year of wandering in the dark to come to that conclusion. Know what else attributed to this life changing moment? It took the intentional trespass of someone whom I thought to be a friend to trample all over my feelings, heart, and soul. She took my very being and slammed it on rusty spikes of betrayal and then walked on it like it was an afterthoughtm she took pure bitch and rubbed my face in it then walked away laughing. What she did was unspeakable and hurt me beyond anything I can put into words. For that, unnamed woman, (you know who you are queen sandwich maker
There is your digression peeps.) I want to thank you. I forgive you for what you did. I forgive the threat, for what you still are. (Two meanings there.) And I forgive you for what you are. Also, I have a great fondness and love for you. I wish the best for you and yours. For you are a sister in kind and the divinity of the Mother Goddess is in you as it is in all of us. Prosper sister. I will take what you have shown me and learn from it ad return it to you tenfold.
As a result of this thing that was done, I fully understand that I will find peace only when I truly love me. I have started down the path to healing from the harm that was done to me as well as the years of being spiritually checked out. I know I have a long way to go and it wont be easy but I do know who will ride or die with me.
I know who is with me and who is not. I know my ride or die family and if some November Rain washes it away, I know I will be ok because I have discovered that I can get back up, pick up the pieces, and continue on. Also know that the bond I have with my Cal cannot be broken. His is my rock and nothing can break that. Any thing that comes along and tries is only temporary and external.
I am going to love me. I am going to fix what has been broken and move on. Watch out world. Its ALL about to change. I am strong and beautiful. I am phenomenal. I SHINE.
Whaylt do YOU think?
Monday, January 5, 2015
Day 5: Giggles make me happy
I guess the rain still has me feeling blue. I simply was unable to get motivated to get up and get my day going this morning. After finally convincing myself that I must do what I have to do, I was going through my morning routine. Because it is quite early and the kiddos are still on winter break, the house is unusually quiet and all I hear is the jingle of the dogs bell when she walked into the kitchen to check the water bowl. (I don't know WHY she does this but she will get up, walk into the kitchen, sniff the water bowl, and walk away. Sometimes she will drink but it is like she is making sure it is there. Has it gotten up and walked away or something? Ah, but I digress. You know me.) While I was brushing my hair, I heard a small giggle. O.o. Nobody is up at this time when they don't HAVE to be! I shrugged it off and continued what I was doing. "hehehehehehe!"
Yes, I am sure of it. That giggle made my heart dance and smile. This is something only a mother can know. Those little giggles only last about ten years or so before they morph into teenagers. I know that giggle anywhere. It was the laughter of our youngest. Number 7. Apparently, he got enough sleep last night to be back on track and get up at a normal time instead of 1 p.m. every day. He had awakened and was watching TV in his room. Uncle Grandpa or something. As I walked down the hallway, I could only smile. I must say, hearing that happy guy made my day. It was only 5 a.m.!
I never miss an opportunity to tell the children (and the husband too) how much I love their happiness, grins, and giggles. When I told him he made my day by just being himself, he lit up like a Christmas tree. Its funny how our children try so hard to make us happy as parents and their innocent kindness is the sweetest ever.
I hope to never lose that in my children. I am proud of them all. I just sometimes forget that they are little ones in this big world and do not yet understand things as an adult would.
Love your little ones. Embrace their effort and pure joy. Get to know them and take time with each and every one. Let them know you are happy with them and accept them for who they are. They will grow and blossom into loving human beings as a result. THEN and only then will there be hope for humanity. (And the ants wont move forward with their plot. Hehehe)
What do YOU think?
Yes, I am sure of it. That giggle made my heart dance and smile. This is something only a mother can know. Those little giggles only last about ten years or so before they morph into teenagers. I know that giggle anywhere. It was the laughter of our youngest. Number 7. Apparently, he got enough sleep last night to be back on track and get up at a normal time instead of 1 p.m. every day. He had awakened and was watching TV in his room. Uncle Grandpa or something. As I walked down the hallway, I could only smile. I must say, hearing that happy guy made my day. It was only 5 a.m.!
I never miss an opportunity to tell the children (and the husband too) how much I love their happiness, grins, and giggles. When I told him he made my day by just being himself, he lit up like a Christmas tree. Its funny how our children try so hard to make us happy as parents and their innocent kindness is the sweetest ever.
I hope to never lose that in my children. I am proud of them all. I just sometimes forget that they are little ones in this big world and do not yet understand things as an adult would.
Love your little ones. Embrace their effort and pure joy. Get to know them and take time with each and every one. Let them know you are happy with them and accept them for who they are. They will grow and blossom into loving human beings as a result. THEN and only then will there be hope for humanity. (And the ants wont move forward with their plot. Hehehe)
What do YOU think?
Sunday, January 4, 2015
Day 4: I am water and rain makes me sad
I have been doing reading on elements. I find it fascinating. I used to think that earth or fire was MY element but in the research I have been doing I discover that I may be wrong. The more I read, the more I find that I have a great deal in common with the element of water.
Even when I read outside of pure element research, I find that the things related to me revolve around water. For example, this morning I was reading the "native american zodiac" (for lack of a better description, it fails me to remember what it was and I am too lazy to go look. Ya, I digress. I am supposed to!) The animal that was related to my birth time was the salmon. Nice, a water animal. Other things that are too many to mention lead me in the same direction. Water water water.
Today, it is raining where I live. Rainy days always bum me out. I have also noted that, sometimes, I can pinpoint precisely WHY I am sad in the first place. Those reasons have nothing to do with the elements but they DO revolve around rainy days for some reason. This makes me mad...sort of. If it were not to rain would I ever be sad? What possibly is happening that my sad days happen to be on a rainy day? Here is where we insert the analogies. Rain drops are shaped like tears. Some children are told that when it rains the angels cry. Crying is a way to wash off the old stuff and make things anew. Yea, I am aware of that. That is not the point of this post.
I guess I am just sad today and today it is raining and water is my element. Enough said.
Yes, this post is short but other than nonsensical ramblings, due to my current mood, I have nothing more for today.
What do YOU think?
Even when I read outside of pure element research, I find that the things related to me revolve around water. For example, this morning I was reading the "native american zodiac" (for lack of a better description, it fails me to remember what it was and I am too lazy to go look. Ya, I digress. I am supposed to!) The animal that was related to my birth time was the salmon. Nice, a water animal. Other things that are too many to mention lead me in the same direction. Water water water.
Today, it is raining where I live. Rainy days always bum me out. I have also noted that, sometimes, I can pinpoint precisely WHY I am sad in the first place. Those reasons have nothing to do with the elements but they DO revolve around rainy days for some reason. This makes me mad...sort of. If it were not to rain would I ever be sad? What possibly is happening that my sad days happen to be on a rainy day? Here is where we insert the analogies. Rain drops are shaped like tears. Some children are told that when it rains the angels cry. Crying is a way to wash off the old stuff and make things anew. Yea, I am aware of that. That is not the point of this post.
I guess I am just sad today and today it is raining and water is my element. Enough said.
Yes, this post is short but other than nonsensical ramblings, due to my current mood, I have nothing more for today.
What do YOU think?
Saturday, January 3, 2015
Day 3: Quarter machine bouncy balls in my brain and I went to work
I went to work yesterday and it was Friday, my day off. I get one day off a week and you would think I would take great care to avoid the office when I don't have to be there. For those of you who DON'T know what I do for a living. This may seem laughable.
She gets up, gets dressed, eats breakfast and has coffee. She gets in the car, drives ALL the way to work, sits down, turns on her computer to start her day. THEN she stares mouth agape at her computer screen realizing she could have slept in and avoided the whole work place thing. You had ONE job girl, to enjoy the day off and you flubbed it up. However that is nothing like how it actually went down.
Background! I work from home. I have done so for many, many years. I have a very small hallway from the bedroom to the office which encompasses about five steps or ten shuffles. There is also access to the bathroom in said hallway and that is why I sometimes say "navigated the hallway traffic." Ya, that is supposed to be funny. Though, I think I have used that so often that I don't find it as hilarious as the first time I said it. (TINY digression there. Hehehe.) Any way, this is more of how it went:
I woke up, brushed my teeth, got dressed, made coffee, navigated the traffic in the hallway, sat down at my desk and started to get my workspace up and running. As I navigate my way to the support chat that I have to utilize, I announced to the fellow employees the following important message:
She gets up, gets dressed, eats breakfast and has coffee. She gets in the car, drives ALL the way to work, sits down, turns on her computer to start her day. THEN she stares mouth agape at her computer screen realizing she could have slept in and avoided the whole work place thing. You had ONE job girl, to enjoy the day off and you flubbed it up. However that is nothing like how it actually went down.
Background! I work from home. I have done so for many, many years. I have a very small hallway from the bedroom to the office which encompasses about five steps or ten shuffles. There is also access to the bathroom in said hallway and that is why I sometimes say "navigated the hallway traffic." Ya, that is supposed to be funny. Though, I think I have used that so often that I don't find it as hilarious as the first time I said it. (TINY digression there. Hehehe.) Any way, this is more of how it went:
I woke up, brushed my teeth, got dressed, made coffee, navigated the traffic in the hallway, sat down at my desk and started to get my workspace up and running. As I navigate my way to the support chat that I have to utilize, I announced to the fellow employees the following important message:
Morning..........DO YOU KNOW WHAT I DID? DO YOU KNOW WHAT I JUST DID? I AM SUPPOSED TO BE OFF TODAY!!! WTFLIP! GOOD BYE! **Michele has left the support chat.
I was so mortified that I was at a loss for what to do next. So I wrote. All of my blogs got something yesterday. I know on one of them I already told this story and if it was this one, I apologize, however this is going somewhere I promise. I even had the intention to study and that would have been great had I actually did it but all that writing made me tired and I ended up sleeping the day away anyway. (Except for the part where Cal's best friend came home after five years and I was rudely awakened by him to get up and watch him hop like a rabbit down the driveway to greet his friend. I needed the air so I was ok with that. ACK! Digression again! You are all in for it today!) Now we turn down the road I wanted to talk about in the first place. You know me, back story and all.
The compulsion to write struck me in the head like a baseball bat. Every little thing I did was followed with a voice in my head going "Hey, that would be a great post! Whip out the phone and write it RIGHT NOW cuz you got time and its your day off!" That is all good but I usually stew on a post for a day or so because I have to think about exactly how to word it. Sometimes I will fork it out right there but it falls short of my own expectations and I am never satisfied. The ones that I think about for at least 24 hours are the best ones to me because I have had time to contemplate the course of action. Still, I only fork out my posts in one sitting because that is how I believe a blog should work. (Warning: I DO have a post coming that I have been a week working at. It is a serious post and nothing like this. Probably why it is taking so long.) I know, not everyone blogs like that but this is just me. So, yea, the voice. While they were all great ideas, it made me tired. I never realized the creative process could whoop you azz like that. Of course, I never had an over burst of creativity like that either. No wonder artists and writers are sooo....different when they are about their craft. I have to learn to use this to my advantage. However, I do not do sleepy tired well. My Cal will tell you I can fall asleep within seconds of laying down. Once I am sleeping, that is it. TKO. Game Over.
I wish there were a way I could sit down, get it all out and NOT be tired when I am done. It makes me tired because when there is more than one story in there (and there always is, I am trying in vain to finish this book that's not on paper yet,) it feels like those quarter machine bouncy balls just recklessly bouncing around inside my brain cavity. It just turns everything in there to mush. I have to sleep that tired off and while I am asleep, I imagine my body is un mushing my brain and making it whole again. Once I am whole, I wake up. I must say that when I wake from that kind of sleep it is a deep, hard sleep. I assume its because it takes a lot of work to un-mush a brain huh?
Until then, when I have days like that, steer clear because I am having an 'artist' or 'writers' moment.
Horrible, horrible feeling.
What do YOU think?
Friday, January 2, 2015
Day 2: The bottom of the bottle is never happy.
I have had a hankering for a tomato and cheese sandwich. I have even tried struggle casserole. You know...noodles, ranch dressing, cheese, and diced tomatoes. Yet...its just not the same.
Yay! For the bread store! Got my bread, a shiny new tomato, my favorite cheese, ranch dressing and seasonings. Omnomnom. Licking my fingers as I type. (Ewwww. Sticky keyboard. Maybe writing about food is not what I need to do.) I digress.
Now I am pretty OCD about things. I like to ssswwwwiiirrrllll my ranch dressing on the sandwich. When I get to the bottom of the bottle, its never happy. While I may get the right amount on the bread, it still does not taste the same. Thank goodness I made two sandwiches today or it just wouldnt be right.
Here is a visual of my conundrum
You know which one I saved for last.
What do YOU think?
Thursday, January 1, 2015
Day 1 of 365
I sort of fizzled on the NaNoWriMo challenge. I now have made it my challenge (NOT resolution. Resolutions are destined to fail) to write a page a day. Initially, it was going to be a book but nah, I will just blog myself to death. I rather enjoy it and who knows, maybe I will amass followers who actually read this stuff.
I have no silliness or awkward view on things this morning so I will just let the thoughts flow through my fingers until I think I have written enough. I am going to start with asking your opinion. What do you think if I were to take some of my favorite posts and make them into a book? It is mainly for people like my mother who never access the internet. Heck, she does good operating the VCR and call waiting. I think that is about as far as she WANTS to go. She has had the interwebs in the past and has even had a cell phone or two but they are just not her thing, I guess. I know maybe she will laugh at some of my insights and roll her eyes at the others. I am positive there are even some she will just scratch her head and go "WHA???" That is the point. If I can elicit that type of response out of some of my readers, then I have succeeded.
I have discovered that its not about numbers when you blog. Its about putting your writing out there and keep putting it out there. Who cares if you have 50 or a million followers. (Well yea, a million followers would be great but you have to EARN that.) I have learned to accept that my time will come. Some people do not get their yearned for recognition until they are worm chow. If my stuff gets out there now or when my grand children are grown, as long as it has made it to someone to read and enjoy, that is the point. So yea, maybe one day I will have enough to collate my posts into a book and send it to my mother as a gift. Yes, I will put it out there for sale because anyone could use a buck or two but it will be just for her. I am sure she will appreciate that. (Of course any mother would appreciate something hand made by her kid. Yes, it is hand made because I wrote the ENTIRE thing.) Maybe I will put a picture of her in it and write a snippet or two about her as well. Who knows. I just know it is something I have been seriously considering over the past few days and I know that she will at least read it. She IS a reader, after all.
Ok, I think I am out of this topic. Pen down, turn your booklets in folks.
What do YOU think?
I have no silliness or awkward view on things this morning so I will just let the thoughts flow through my fingers until I think I have written enough. I am going to start with asking your opinion. What do you think if I were to take some of my favorite posts and make them into a book? It is mainly for people like my mother who never access the internet. Heck, she does good operating the VCR and call waiting. I think that is about as far as she WANTS to go. She has had the interwebs in the past and has even had a cell phone or two but they are just not her thing, I guess. I know maybe she will laugh at some of my insights and roll her eyes at the others. I am positive there are even some she will just scratch her head and go "WHA???" That is the point. If I can elicit that type of response out of some of my readers, then I have succeeded.
I have discovered that its not about numbers when you blog. Its about putting your writing out there and keep putting it out there. Who cares if you have 50 or a million followers. (Well yea, a million followers would be great but you have to EARN that.) I have learned to accept that my time will come. Some people do not get their yearned for recognition until they are worm chow. If my stuff gets out there now or when my grand children are grown, as long as it has made it to someone to read and enjoy, that is the point. So yea, maybe one day I will have enough to collate my posts into a book and send it to my mother as a gift. Yes, I will put it out there for sale because anyone could use a buck or two but it will be just for her. I am sure she will appreciate that. (Of course any mother would appreciate something hand made by her kid. Yes, it is hand made because I wrote the ENTIRE thing.) Maybe I will put a picture of her in it and write a snippet or two about her as well. Who knows. I just know it is something I have been seriously considering over the past few days and I know that she will at least read it. She IS a reader, after all.
Ok, I think I am out of this topic. Pen down, turn your booklets in folks.
What do YOU think?
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