Coffee Apocalypse

Ever wonder what the world would be like if there were suddenly no coffee anywhere? I shudder.....
Personally, I would go through withdrawal. Likely near what you see in the movies when the junkie goes into rehab. I used to do that to myself (Why?) before we bought our home and I have no explanation for my behaviour.
Lets talk about what I went through. Some background before I begin. I would only do it when we would move to a new rental place. Things like that happen when you seem to choose every landlord that wants to jack up the rent to an unreasonable fee after living there for a year and you are good tenants. At any rate, I would even go so far as to personally pack the coffee maker in my car and it is the last thing out and the first thing set up. I would still torture myself by going a week without the liquid gold of a hot caffinated beverage every morning for that week. I never plan it that way, it just happened. I guess I was too busy with the move to make coffee or notice I was not drinking it. Toward the end of the week, I would become grumpy and have a blistering headache. (Yea, headaches don't blister, that is just the best explanation of how it felt.)
Had I went further than that, I likely would have had the shakes and everything else that came with not quenching my mind with the one thing that makes me enjoy mornings more than I normally do. But let me tell you, that FIRST cup after an incarceration in reality is like unicorns, rainbows, and glitter, all while winning the superbowl for the first time.
It was the best cup of coffee ever! Well, at least for the moment then I would pick back up with my wonderful vice like I never missed it.
Ok, back to the rant. No coffee, disappeared, poof, gone. Know what? I am certain that if there were a Zombie apocalypse at the same time, they would NOT have a chance. You just send the caffiene deprived hot beverage drinkers out (without weapons even!) and they would tear the heads off them blitches in no time flat! Hehehe.
I am certain there would be anarchy and chaos and there will be a lot of people in the hospital believing they are afflicted with some sort of illness due to the fact that they had to give it up cold turkey and South America would be invaded with millions of people looking for the last coffee bean so they can be the hero like in the book the Lorax.
Surely society would fall and there would be a loss of power and people would instill their own martial law and there would be no need for politicians to discuss gun control because they would all be hunkered down under their desks with their own AK 47's and AR 15's ready to shoot at the first noise they hear. Nervous? You have never seen nervous like someone WITHOUT their caffiene. I am positive that it will also be a time where things such as speed and other amphetemines (sp?) consumption would skyrocket for those lucky enough to get hold of some to quell their inner coffee drinker. People would truly be different folks.
Crime would go up, murders, gun violence, assault, battery, and there would be quite a bit more conspiracy theorists. Why did I add that last one? Well, those of us who are seasoned enough coffee drinkers do not think clearly about things before caffiene. They think about noises, and absently hear the news and it gets us to thinking things that may or may not be true. Heard the news this morning about the Batman bringing in the bankrobber? Yea, Batman is real, therefore it must be true, how nice of him to pay our neighborhood a visit. Had the coffee drinker had their coffee, they would look at the TV with their jaw agape and go "How STUPID is that! Trying to do that for attention is all." Yes, folks, CLARITY.
What are your thoughts on the Coffee apocalypse? (Also, open to suggestions for more rants, fill up the page please!)