Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Road Rage: Better off in my own mind....

I try not to let stupid drivers get to me. I have plenty of other stuff to rage about or scream about without having to yell at some stranger for cutting me off. However, there is a time and a place for dicussions such as this and here is my forum.
One of the things that make me madder than hill is the fact that someone can run up on you super fast, cut you off, and then...........yep you guessed it............slow to a crawl right in front of you. What does this accomplish? Did you decide the moment that you got back in my lane, in front of ME, that you were no longer in a hurry to get where you were going? Truth be told, I will probably get to my destination before you and I was going the posted speed limit the entire trip!
Let me guess, you were on the phone and failed to realize that the more engaged you were in your chatter, the heavier your foot got. I call that the heavy talk syndrome. I am guilty as charged there. This is yet one of the many reasons why I do not talk on the phone and drive. It is against the law in most places these days. WAIT! Maybe you decided that you wanted to be Mr. Nugget McAssshole this morning because you woke up on the bottom side of the bed. Yeah! That is it. Well, sir, I am not the source of your frustration and taking it out on me silently by impeding my progress is something that simply should not be done. However, you chose me this morning so I am now faced with a dilemma.
Do I beat the crap out of my steering wheel (not its fault) and roll down the window to scream obsenities at you while my family slowly slides down in their seats from embarassment? What, pray tell, would that accomplish?? Nothing but another pissed off driver. Better off keeping that reaction to myself. Ok, another option would be to do the same thing. No, that will never work. Then you will beat on your innocent steering wheel and that is not called for either. Final, and certainly most difficult option? The best one, with practice, I say. You simply keep the rage in your mind and pull out your mental movie projector and play Death Race Michele in your mind and imagine how it would be to go into the next lane, push my kill button and out come the nails and just RATATATATATATATATATATATATA all over that bitchards wheels and shiny car so that they simply STOP in their progress and are successfully late for where ever they were in such a big rush to get to in the first place.
Muahahahaha. That would be great in MY perfect world. On the up side to that, remaining safe, and ignoring stupidity and getting out of the way of it is great! It also makes a lot less stress on my health and lets me remain alert for the next idiot that is surely going to do something just as stupid. Further, it is such a YES! moment when you are pulling out of Tim Horton's Coffee shop and you see that same fool, pulled over by a cop getting a ticket. Talk about stress for him.....I feel for that poor steering wheel.

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