Observations about the blues

I have inexplicably been feeling mighty down over the past couple of months. It is the most painful emotion one can experience other than grief over the loss of a loved one. I have been lucid enough to notice some things and I want to share my observations with you.


Everyone has times where they feel blue for whatever reason. Most of the time, when you are sad, there is a reason behind it and there is a solution forthcoming. When you are truly depressed, there seems to be no rhyme or reason for it and you feel like a sloth. Not that you are lazy but it takes great effort and energy just to do ANYTHING other than breathe. If you are lucky enough to talk yourself into doing something, washing the dishes for example, it is an extremely long conversation with yourself that you almost do not win. Reluctantly, you get up to do the task. This can be something that you do every day or something that you have to do (like the dishes) or something that you enjoy doing as part of your routine (I love doing the family laundry.)


Even if you are lucky enough to get started, your follow through has deserted you and you probably wont finish the job. Like I said before, I love to do laundry and usually get it done in one day, amidst the other million things I do around the house. Because I have a big family, it does take about 5-6 loads to do everything and that is when I don't decide to wash the curtains and the beds too. Since I have been depressed, that same 5-6 loads becomes a never ending cycle of load after load after load. I find that I believe myself to have accomplished something when there is a mountain of clothes waiting to be folded (my favorite part) and I just look at it and become overwhelmed and give myself some excuse to walk away. Its. Just. Too. Hard.


So you are inexplicably sad, your follow through is shot all to hell and now the things that you loved to do before are just like....why?  Reading? Out of the question. Writing? You see how much I have done lately. Smiling? THAT hurts too much. Even if it is fake.


No wonder depressed people are so hard to console. Life just sucks and for no reason at all. I mean, my family is fine, job is going great, the bills are paid. My husband is happy. No fighting or arguing. But it hurts to just exist. Ugh.


I do believe, however, I am on the upside of this thing. I have never felt this way for this long before and I am not sure how to approach things. I actually got through 85% of the laundry yesterday before I decided I had done enough. Maybe things are getting better? In the mean time, I sat in my chair and actually cried for no reason. I was getting ready for work and started to bawl like a baby for about 3 minutes. Horrible. Horrible. Horrible. No reason, just seemed like the thing to do at the time.


What kinds of things have you noticed when you or someone you know has the blues.


What do YOU think?

Hair discrimination. The struggle is real!

Recently, I had a discussion with a co worker about the color of our hair. She noted my current profile picture was different than the one I use for communications at work. Yes, she is right. There have been two instances in my life where I was not a blonde or some variation thereof. They were short lived. I am not sure why the first time I dyed my hair a darker color did not last long but I can probably guess that I absolutely hated it.


The second one, of course more recently, was for wholly different reasons.


I dyed my hair black. I had never had black hair before. I always wanted black hair. I bit the bullet and went all out. Immediately, I noticed how people responded to me. For those that knew me well, they were like "WELL! Oh! Um. Ok. You changed your hair?"  Others, even perfect strangers would look at me and begrudgingly go...."Oh, its you." I found it odd that people would respond to me that way. I felt like a sheeple. No, more like those little people you cut out of notebook paper that are holding hands. You know, a never ending chain of the same exact people? I did not like how that made me feel. All my life, people have lit up like sunshine when I came in the room or at least acknowledged that me breathing was at least worth a smile and a hello.


To further make me decide never to do anything so stupid in my life, ever again, I went back to blonde and everyone lit up when I walked into the room. Now unless someone is wholly perturbed by my presence, they at least smile and wish me a hello.


I wonder how people do it. You know, the ones with black or dark brown hair?  They must be miserable. I wonder what life would be like were we all blonde? I am guessing the world would be a happier place. However, in the current state of mind I carry, I find that hard to believe but hey, wishful thinking always helps. Yes?


Back to the discussion with the co worker. She made these very same observations. Then she summed it all up with 2 words that fit appropriately.

HAIR DISCRIMINATION

Think THAT will ever become a protected class of citizens?  "We are an equal opportunity place. No person shall be discriminated against due to age, sex, religion, race, orientation, or HAIR COLOR."  I look for it to be the next civil rights thing after we finally realize that our GLBT friends finally get what they deserve: Equal Treatment under the law. (Ah, but that is a digression that will take MONTHS and YEARS for me to cover. Also, it is a political opinion in this era and you know me......I do not discuss my political opinions.)

What do YOU think?

It is the actions of the few that reflect upon and affect the many

I don’t normally go on a political rant but there have been some local events that caused a stir and made national headlines from my city during the Memorial Day Weekend Holiday. Most of the world now knows about the 3 murders that happened during the Bikefest in Myrtle Beach. The Governor of SC has put her 2 cents worth in along with the City Council and I could not even take my nap yesterday lest I got that RANT out of me. For your reading pleasure (please don’t yawn) Here is my feelings about that topic. Note, I am going against the grain on this one. 

It is the actions of the few that reflect upon and affect the many.

While it is a tragedy that the Bikefest had fatalities this year, it is an event that partially kicks off the beginning of the summer working season for many people in and out of Myrtle Beach.  A great deal of the workers that depend on the summer working season have found the season becoming shorter and shorter. My husband is one such worker and before my current career, I was too. We depended on the income from the summer months to sustain us through the winter season when work was not so plenty and unemployment was not a timely replacement.

We noted that at least one of us had to find work that was not so seasonal in order to provide enough income to pay for a roof over our heads, utilities, and necessities. We also have to provide for our children.  We live INSIDE the city limits of Myrtle Beach and have done so for at least 12 years.  I have noticed that a great deal of the people that attend audience with the city council are not residents within the city limits. While some may work in the city or choose to come through the city to get to the beach, they do have valid complaint about the things that occur during Bikefest. This letter is not disputing that. Further, I note that the city council members are not directly located in the city but in affluent homes around the edges of the city and do not bear 24 hour witness to the activities of Bikefest.

As stated before, this is a tragedy and the actions of the parties involved ruined it for everyone. While there should be more respect of the city as we open our hospitality industry to then on Memorial Day weekend, Governor Nicky Haley said it best:

            “This was not something to be proud of. This was not a good weekend. There was a lot of damage, but more importantly there were deaths. This is no longer a law enforcement issue. Our law enforcement was stellar. We had more than enough people.”

There are multiple truths here. Yes, it is NOT something to be proud of. The events that occurred resulted in loss of life and it did happen in Myrtle Beach. The disrespect for life, the hospitality of the area, and those they hurt in the process was horrid and they should be punished for what they did. However, their actions should not hinder the event itself nor should it be taken away only to make the summer workers of this area suffer more than they already have. Secondly, it was NOT a good weekend due to the deaths. Third, anytime there are a lot of people coming to a place for an event, there will be damage. The more people, the more damage there will be. In speaking of the law enforcement, maybe there were enough and maybe they did to a “stellar” job. I am not writing this to dispute that. In the same press conference, Governor Haley also said the following:

            “There are no revenues worth the bad press that we got this past weekend. There are no revenues worth the lack of companies that will come to this area because of what happened this weekend. There are no revenues worth the lack of tourism that we will lose because of what happened this past weekend. It is time for that Bikefest to come to an end,”

This is where I have issue. She is right in that there are no revenues worth bad press and tourism lost. However, those that depend on this weekend to start their income season will lose out unless something of a similar caliber is set in its place and what will provide that type of revenue?  The hotel workers put in extra hours, the gas station attendants pull extra shifts. Those that work in the restaurants work doubles and come in early and stay late during the Bikefest weekend. These workers keep businesses running during an exorbitantly busy weekend and they depend on that money to pay their bills and to provide for their families. If you take that away, that is another ding in the incomes of these people. Many of these workers live right here in the city limits. Most will not even think about reaching out to City Council or listen to what Governor Haley is saying. They just want to have a job to look forward to during the summer months when they know they can make the money.

A few years ago, there was a big issue in Myrtle Beach about Helmet laws and noise ordinances and such after a similar situation which had occurred during Bikefest. The helmet issue (among others) went all the way to the Supreme Court of South Carolina and was subsequently overturned as being against South Carolina Constitution. Unbeknownst to the ones that set that controversy in motion, it hurt “the poor people.” Or as the cogs of this city are referred to: The Summer workers. Business has never been the same since that has occurred. Bikefest weekend as well as the Harley weekends is not as busy as the hospitality workers would like. Further, local businesses like restaurants and hotels are not hiring as many people because of the “loss of revenue.”

Every single time an incident like this occurs, here comes the Governor demanding something that has a detrimental effect to those of us who are nearly too broke to sustain but make about $3 too much to receive any type of assistance. Further, those of us who are working our fingers to the bone to barely make it are directly  e few make living almost impossible and the City and the Governor wonders why there is a homeless problem in this city.

Finally, Haley mentioned preventative measures:

            “Law enforcement was not a problem this past Memorial weekend. The problem was the lack of a curfew, the lack of a noise ordinance, the lack of any sort of discipline or organization, the lack of any sort of ability to control the environment. That was the problem. But it was not law enforcement.”

I am not proposing any solutions but you need to think about the Utilitarian point of view before you make a demand that an event should be eradicated. Haley said there was lack of a noise ordinance but the Helmet Law issue did put in place a noise ordinance. Why was it not enforced by the stellar law enforcement we had for Bikefest? Further, City code does have curfews in place. Especially for minors. Why were the curfews not enforced? (I find it silly to impose a curfew on a resort area when adults know right from wrong and there is no martial law.) While there was not much discipline on the part of the visitors and a few of the locals, there was certainly no organization present within the city. This can be seen from 2 viewpoints. 1. The organizers of Bikefest did not have any structure in the events of the weekend and everyone came to the beach to just ‘hang out.’ When one goes on vacation, hanging out t is what they do. When they go to the sands of the beach or the pool, that is what they do. When they go to the bars, that is what they do. It is human nature to want to congregate and socialize. 2. The visitors were undisciplined and chaotic. Yes. Yes they are. They came to Myrtle Beach to have a good time and while the stores, clubs, and restaurants were open, what activities were there for them? Absolutely none. So what option did they have but to amuse themselves and hang out?  One can also look at this from the standpoint that while law enforcement believed they were doing their job, they were severely outnumbered and failed to enforce noise ordinances, local nudity laws, and curfews.

When situations like this occur, it is always the blame of the caliber of people attending the event. However, did anyone ever consider that the many outside of the few were not really causing any issue? Further, Bikefest has been going on for quite some time, the people that brought their families should know or should have known what occurs in the Grand Strand during Bike Fest. Choosing a different immediate area would not have been a detriment to them. Further, it would not have affected any incoming revenue for the business owners.

In suggesting that Bikefest must come to an end or to eradicate the event all together disrupts the lives of the cogs of the city. Those of us that work this and live this life 24 hours a day. Those of us that have roots here and not in some affluent neighborhood on the outskirts of the city limits.

For the City Council and Governor Haley, should you see to it that this event comes to an end, are you going to come out of your pocket to replenish the lost wages for those of us who work long hours during this event? A person making $9.00 an hour working in a restaurant will work 8-14 hours a day during the Bikefest weekend. If you take that away and force the summer working season to start later, you are causing businesses to work people like my husband 4-5 hours a day during that weekend and causing a hardship on us. That money goes right back out in the form of Rent, insurance, water, power, and phone bills. (Not to mention gas, and food.) Do you really want to take the rug out from under the citizens you are seeking to help out by “bringing more jobs to the area?” Businesses won’t come because lack of a successful income year round. It has nothing to do with a singular crime that happened during a large event.

I don’t expect anyone to pass this along but I send it in hopes that someone will read it and see it from the point of view of the workers. Were it not for those of us that live paycheck to paycheck, who would work the service industry jobs? Certainly not the affluent ones, certainly not the City Council, and certainly not Governor Haley.

The writer is a property owner inside the City Limits of Myrtle Beach.

When you are in the right.

It is everyone's nightmare. Bad neighbors. I recently had a discussion with a relative who just had some bad neighbors move in just across the street from them. Due to the fact that they live on a dirt road that is basically a driveway, their houses are closer to one another than they would be were it a typical street. This couple has no children but everyone else in the neighborhood does.


It is not very often that my relative and her daughter go outside. They are so busy! However, when they are at home, they both love to be in the front yard a great deal. The daughter is quite popular with the other kids in the neighborhood. When she does come out to play, there are about a handful of children in my relatives yard. They play tag, kickball, and stand around and have typical girlie chatter. This drives the new neighbors absolutely insane. Mind you, it does not bother them when it is other children. Just my relative and her daughter. Every time this neighbor sees my relative outside, she tries to start arguments and yells obscenities at her. At first, the relative was trying to have a conversation with her and even yelling back. This did not work so my relative would sit on her porch and just let it happen. It was fine until the neighbor started calling her inappropriate names in front of the children. It has even gotten tot he point to where the cops had to come out and tell the new neighbors to stop yelling obscenities at people. While the cops advised both parties to get along, my relative does her best to say nothing at all to the new neighbor and keeps her children away from that side of the street at all costs.


Since the relative has been doing everything right, the new neighbor continues her assault of screaming and making rude gestures toward the relative every chance she gets. This is not fair to the relative and when incidents do occur, they are very taxing. The relative is usually thick skinned but is unable to handle such an unhappy human being hurling offensive assaults at her every chance she gets. Everyone on this street either owns the homes or is there for a term of longer than a couple of years. My relative has a beautiful home and she loves it very much but she is considering taking a loss on the home and moving away because of this neighbor.


From my point of view, this is unfair for someone to make a persons life THAT miserable when they are not even part of the home. What right does the new neighbor have to take out her frustrations on my relative when there is no issue at all. My relative has even went so far as to mark off the corners of her property to let her daughter and daughters friends know what the boundaries are when it comes to the neighbors and to eliminate any accidental trespass by her daughter. Why should someone have to go that far. The incidents where the new neighbor does her screaming have become more frequent and occur about every three days now. As a result, the relative is on medication for stress and depression. The Dr advised that she just needs to stay in the house when she sees the neighbor come outside. The only thing is, the neighbor ONLY comes outside when the relative is there.


What would YOU do in this situation?

I give you my Awesomeness!

Alas, it is Mothers’ Day. That special day where we celebrate all that is mom and let her know that, even though we act like we hate everything you say, you are STILL Mom and we love you!


I had to work today. Of course, I  was up before everyone else in the house so no fabled breakfast in bed for me. I think that is why they keep you in the hospital at least overnight when you give birth. This way, you get at least one time in your life that, as a mother, you can have breakfast in bed! For me the best one out of our brood was the last one. I was lucky enough to find a channel that played “Castaway” with Tom Hanks about a million times before I left the hospital. I actually watched it while eating breakfast. Good times. Gooooood times! Ok, well maybe reflecting on giving birth is not the best “good time” that anyone can think of but it is a pretty awesome experience.  Ok, so on to my Mothers Day story for the post…


This morning, my lovely daughter came into my office to wish me a Happy Mothers Day. I asked her “What did you get me?”  Mind you, she IS a teenager and teenagers get up to some persnickety stuff sometimes. She just grinned really big at me, turned her back to me and then said:


“The only thing I got you was my AWESOMENESS.” As if that was well deserved.


Well, guess what? I accept that. She is Awesome. She has more talent in one fingernail than any kid I know for miles around! If Awesomeness is all she has to give me well then, I am going to BATHE in it! She has already been up (going against her character) and soaked the dishes and helped out with her brothers. All without asking and I have not had to mute my headset and scream like a banshee through the wall to get her to tell them to stop fighting.


All in all, good Mothers Day so far.  Now, because I don’t normally take a lunch on Sunday’s, lets see how hard it is for her to come and get the coffee and reheat it. It got cold while I was telling you my story. Ugh. I need a coffee warmer in my office.


/micaa yells….DAUGHTER!!!!!!!!!! I NEED MY COFFEEEEE HEATEDDDDD!!!!!!
Heard through the wall:  UGHHHH!!!!! **Stomp Stomp Stomp..(yes, they are womens 13s!) Typical Day in the Miles household.
What do YOU think?

My name is Michele and I am a flavor hog...or a serial killer?

My name is Micaa and I am a flavor hog.

I had an epiphany yesterday while scraping the bottom of my spinach dip jar. (It was frustrating enough having spinach dip for chips and all I had was crackers.)  I realized that I had sat down and ate the entire jar in one  and a half sittings. O MY GAWD! What a pig! But the stuff tastes SOOOO GOOOODDDD!!!!!

I sat there and thought about that for a minute.  I had to swear off Chocolate Jiff because I could finish a jar of THAT in a day too.  I also have to stay away from making uber creamy mac  and cheese because I will eat the whole box. Hrmm….There is a pattern going on here.

Ok. Ok. I admit it. I LOVE flavor! If it tastes good, I am going to eat it even when I am not hungry. If boredom is hanging with me, I may even eat more. No wonder my vain attempts at meeting the elusive “130” have failed miserably. What do I do? It would be a horrid experience eating all stuff that has NO flavor. Ick. But I bet I can lose a lot of weight that way. I could also get rid of a lot of stress in my life becoming a career serial killer but maybe I wont do that. Wait, if I totally eliminate flavor out of my life, will I become a serial killer? Maybe not. I didn’t when I quit smoking. I know! I should try to eliminate caffeine and see if I can do it. If so, then I will resume caffeine and quit flavor. No….that won’t work. Then I have to fight the urge to blow up the planet. I will have to steal Marvin Martians Q-36 modulator first. Aw dangit! Then I won’t be able to blow up the planet because the house is on a slab and there is no way to move it away. Too expensive anyway. Grrrr. What am I supposed to do!

I certainly do not have the time to jump on tready for three hours every day.  While that may be an option, it would only work if I could study while I am on tready. Yea, not really, I get stressed out on that thing! Really! The kids pick on me and they run behind me making me nervous that I am going to kick them. Not that I would want to kick them but when they poke fun at me an tready having our time together, I would like to but then, that is mean and I am not mean. Not to my family anyway. Well, the close ones.

Too bad mean will not let me lose weight. I would just be mean for a month, lose a butt ton (yes, that is an accurate measurement and it is a real one! Bing it!) of weight and then return to being nice again. Ah, but then that is circular huh? Eliminating flavor from my life would make me mean and I would lose a butt ton of weight (have you looked it up yet?) and then I could just leave flavor out once I know I can live without and just try being nice again. Well, we all know boss is nice when she is work. However, flavor hog aint nice…like boss! (There it is! The digression! Now, go watch the movie Life! Haha.)

What do YOU think?

Using real life to change fiction

It never ceases to amaze me how a messed up situation in real life can change the pace of a fiction story one is composing.


Currently I am in the middle of the lives of Jack and Anastasia and they have now found that they have evil neighbors in their desert. Hrmm. Wonder where that came from? Well, I certainly love my neighbors. Even the evil ones that have no idea how being nice really works.  As a writer, it amazes me how things can take a turn in a story that you are writing and you don't even intend for it to go down that path.


What happens is this:


You are walking along, minding your own business. Listening to your footsteps as you travel down this storybook road ( your footsteps are sounding like your fingers hacking away a the keys-keep your pinkies up while typing!) and you see this little less travelled path along the side of the road. Oh, you note it alright but you keep walking. Only, your stride slows down as you think about that path. You think. You stew. You think and you stew. You think until you come to a stop and look around you. There is nothing but untouched field and warm sunshine all around you and you stand there.


Brooding.


That paths presence simply will not leave the back of your mind. At some point, as if hypnotized, you do an about face and you find yourself standing at the top of the path...wondering. Should you take it? Should you keep going? You know if you keep going in the direction you were, you will always wonder. You wonder this as you stand before said path and turn your face to the setting sun. This is the same direction you were heading in the first place. Hmm. The setting sun. Interesting. Maybe something is trying to give you a message. That path leads to an ending that your mind knows so well. The plan you had laid out for this story to travel. The path that you know how it is going to be. However.


However, you are at this new, unexpected thing. This crossroads and you have to take it. You ask for opinions of others and they all say...go for it! What makes it even more interesting is that you once wrote a small blurb when you were experiencing a writing prompt and you had requests to finish it. While you had no full story to go with that blurb, that one situation that led to this interruption of the field you are waking by and the path that so raptly has your attention now has a place in your story. That blurb and where this path leads go hand in hand and make perfect sense for the direction you know the story could go.


Do you take it? Life is about taking chances. While us writers are not ones to go out and do parkour or ride a skateboard off a ramp some 500 feet in the air, these are the chances we take. Is this the making of a great story? In my mind it may be.


It makes me wonder how many paths are along the stories that I read.  I now understand where "the Wind Through the Keyhole" by Stephen King came from. When I first discovered that story I was in pure bliss to find another book to the whole Gunslinger collection. When I read the intro, I thought it strange for the author to label it as Gunslinger 4.5.  However, it fit right in between books 4 and 5 of that story. Funny how paths are created and how they come into existence.


Have you ever come across a less beaten path? Did you take it? Where did it lead you?


What do YOU think?






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